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Original poster

Horrible text from ex

454 replies

Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 12:12

Today I wrote a quick text to my ex-husband (we have two children) just saying "Hey, what date will be you putting through the cs this month?" cs meaning child support.

I received this reply:

"The only reason you have this number is for emergencies for the kids. That's the only reason you can reach me right now. I'm not your friend. I'm not someone you can complain to. I'm a stranger. You don't know me and I don't want to know you.

If you have a problem you take it up with the appropriate place. the only reason I should have a message from you is if one of the kids is in hospital.

If I'm doing something you don't like go make a friend and talk to them about it."

Bit of background. I have not had any contact with him since September, when we were organising drop offs for the holidays. There's been no conflict. I have an active social life and don't understand the 'make a friend' part.

We have been divorced for many years. We broke up due to not being compatible. We argued a lot and he was 10 years younger than me and wanted different things in the end. When we broke up, he made life fairly difficult I guess, i.e. not having the kids, so I found it difficult to work full time, as he wouldn't help with care in the holidays etc. Say he would have them for the night work I found once a week, then back out that day, leaving me with no care. I have never had family to look after the kids, so it was just him and me. He was nasty in the early days, broke the front door in and called the small amount of child support he paid 'my wage he paid me to look after the children'. Because I have had the children for the past 11 years nearly full time, he has had time to build a successful career. I pay for (and always have) everything for the children, all clothes, school fees, out of school activities, musical instruments, daughter's first car and insurance etc etc.

The last 6-7 years there's been only contact about pick ups and drop offs. I've been friendly towards his new partner and always said hello and goodbye at drops offs.

Then I get this text today. It's so over the top. I'm feeling a bit alone and thought someone might relate or have a story to share.

OP posts:
Sodthesystem · 23/10/2025 13:18

My guess would be the new partner has left him and...she's a woman...you're a woman...therefore you are her and you are evil. That's how abusive men think.

I hope you don't encourage contact with him and your kids. They shouldn't be anywhere near the psycho.

Don't reply to his text. You were playing with fire texting him. He's a bag guy, you know this, have as little contact ac possible.

Dogaredabomb · 23/10/2025 13:18

Wow, he should be apologising for being SO late. Twatwad

ohyesido · 23/10/2025 13:19

Has he got a new lady friend? I remember receiving a very hostile and strongly worded text from my son’s father in response to something innocuous that later turned out to have written by his new girlfriend. Things were very civil then suddenly I get this long text telling me there’s no reason for me to text him and to stop hassling him…we’d been broken up for 8 years at that point

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Relationship problems
RandomMess · 23/10/2025 13:19

That’s one way for him to end up being on direct pay without his agreement!

Quite likely either money or relationship issues.

Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:20

Dolphin4 · 23/10/2025 12:55

He sounds like a piece of shit, you did well divorcing him! Try not to let him get you down. If he doesn't come up with the child maintenance soon it might be worth going through the cms. 💐

I truly believe it's been easier to raise the kids alone than it would have been living with him. He's so difficult and full on.

OP posts:
Namechange822 · 23/10/2025 13:20

My ex used to send me messages like this about not contacting him for things.

We got a rebate for fees for our old house sale (abroad so different system) and I put the money into his bank without telling him because I wasn’t allowed to contact him.

He spent it without realising, didn’t pay the tax he needed to, and ended up with a bigger fine than the rebate.

I remind him every time he texts me shite!

Sandtheedges · 23/10/2025 13:20

He’s probably got no money and trying to deflect by being aggressive. I’d thumbs up and go to CMS.

Try not to let him get to you. It’s what he wants.

No5ChalksRoad · 23/10/2025 13:20

PflumPfeffer · 23/10/2025 12:25

Could the new gf have written it based on shite he’s told her about you? I used to have a male friend whose gf used to pull stuff like that with his phone/socials.

This was the first thing that occurred to me.

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 23/10/2025 13:20

Wow, dramatic much?! See you in court then I guess.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 23/10/2025 13:21

I'd reply with

"Too long didn't read.
Can you confirm when CS payment coming through?"

Trallers · 23/10/2025 13:21

"Crikey, sounds like things are a little strained at the moment. No worries, I'll get it when I get it and certainly won't ask again if gets you this worked up and emotional. Hope things improve x".

At least that's what I'd want to send as it would make him furious! No response.is best though.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 23/10/2025 13:21

text back,

apologies, it was one of my many friends that suggested contacting you, we were discussing our situation and when I mentioned this months payment was late and I needed to use it to get something for our children, she suggested dropping you a quick polite text. this is contact about the kids, not a friendly chat, not a complaint, not about me or you - purely about our children

Dolphin4 · 23/10/2025 13:21

Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:20

I truly believe it's been easier to raise the kids alone than it would have been living with him. He's so difficult and full on.

Show quote history

He sounds it! ❤

Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:23

Dogaredabomb · 23/10/2025 13:12

How old are your children? Hopefully you'll soon get to the stage when you don't contact him even in an emergency. Because if he nurtures their relationship properly well hey he'd know something was up. Do you cut him any slack at all on cs? Don't, get as much as possible and do everything through official channels. I wouldn't respond, however if he ever ask you anything c&p that response back. He's a very nasty arsehole. And he'll burn in hell

My children are 17 and 14, so I'm nearly there! After I received that text I felt sad for our children, thinking of things like their weddings etc where they just want both parents there, no drama. I don't think he's capable of that. I don't have any contact with him really but thought I'd check in about the CS, but obviously won't again!

OP posts:
noidea69 · 23/10/2025 13:24

Wouldnt be surprised if his new partner is in his ear complaining and he's taken out on you.

acres11 · 23/10/2025 13:24

Sympathy OP, it is so draining to have to deal with an ex like this.

Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:24

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 23/10/2025 13:21

I'd reply with

"Too long didn't read.
Can you confirm when CS payment coming through?"

This made me laugh love it!

OP posts:
GirtyPlunder · 23/10/2025 13:25

Ignore it. It's far more likely he is taking something out on you that's bothering him elsewhere in his life.

Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:26

No5ChalksRoad · 23/10/2025 13:20

This was the first thing that occurred to me.

Show quote history

Unfortunately I think it's him. He used to write similar wordy stuff back when we first split up. So over the top and weird. I'd erased it from my memory I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:27

acres11 · 23/10/2025 13:24

Sympathy OP, it is so draining to have to deal with an ex like this.

Thanks, it's helping to share it here. I used to just absorb it all before I got better boundaries and got pretty sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:29

ohyesido · 23/10/2025 13:19

Has he got a new lady friend? I remember receiving a very hostile and strongly worded text from my son’s father in response to something innocuous that later turned out to have written by his new girlfriend. Things were very civil then suddenly I get this long text telling me there’s no reason for me to text him and to stop hassling him…we’d been broken up for 8 years at that point

they've been together for quite a few years and she seems fairly normal, but someone else said they may be having relationship trouble and he's taking it out on me. Could be that.

OP posts:
Whereismyfleeceblanket · 23/10/2025 13:30

Report it late to cms or he will pay late every month . He won't get to opt out of it being taken from his wages.

Troubadourr · 23/10/2025 13:31

My guess would be that the text was from his current partner if this is totally out of character.

Comefromaway · 23/10/2025 13:31

Calendulaaria · 23/10/2025 13:24

This made me laugh love it!

Show quote history

Love, love love this

Puregoldy · 23/10/2025 13:32

Sounds like he is having money issues and decided to project his shit at you. Definitely go through cms. I also have an arse for an ex and only contact him if necessary. Unfortunately his partner is as bad as him. Also dreading future weddings etc but hope it calms down over the next 10 years or so!