Horrible text from ex

[Calendulaaria]

Today I wrote a quick text to my ex-husband (we have two children) just saying "Hey, what date will be you putting through the cs this month?" cs meaning child support.

I received this reply:

"The only reason you have this number is for emergencies for the kids. That's the only reason you can reach me right now. I'm not your friend. I'm not someone you can complain to. I'm a stranger. You don't know me and I don't want to know you.

If you have a problem you take it up with the appropriate place. the only reason I should have a message from you is if one of the kids is in hospital.

If I'm doing something you don't like go make a friend and talk to them about it."

Bit of background. I have not had any contact with him since September, when we were organising drop offs for the holidays. There's been no conflict. I have an active social life and don't understand the 'make a friend' part.

We have been divorced for many years. We broke up due to not being compatible. We argued a lot and he was 10 years younger than me and wanted different things in the end. When we broke up, he made life fairly difficult I guess, i.e. not having the kids, so I found it difficult to work full time, as he wouldn't help with care in the holidays etc. Say he would have them for the night work I found once a week, then back out that day, leaving me with no care. I have never had family to look after the kids, so it was just him and me. He was nasty in the early days, broke the front door in and called the small amount of child support he paid 'my wage he paid me to look after the children'. Because I have had the children for the past 11 years nearly full time, he has had time to build a successful career. I pay for (and always have) everything for the children, all clothes, school fees, out of school activities, musical instruments, daughter's first car and insurance etc etc.

The last 6-7 years there's been only contact about pick ups and drop offs. I've been friendly towards his new partner and always said hello and goodbye at drops offs.

Then I get this text today. It's so over the top. I'm feeling a bit alone and thought someone might relate or have a story to share.

I think he’s discovered chat gpt.

Thank you 🤗I got that old feeling of dread I used to get dealing with him when I read the text. It helps to get some other eyes on it and other opinions x

This. I'd be raging inside, but still saying "you didn't answer the question, when can I expect the kids money?"

I had to look this up, love it 😂

'he has had time to build a successful career.'

I reckon he's worried that you might ask for an increase in contribution now your dc are getting older.

I wouldn't give him the pleasure of a response or acknowledgement of that and wouldn't waste my energy thinking about it.
He's a prick. Maybe things aren't going so well for him and he's taking it out on you. Drama llama or what?!
Meanwhile in OPs world you're doing well being a great role model as a single mum to your dcs, being close to them and holding your head up over an immature and bitter sounding ex.

You should not have been messaging him.

I think it's not worth letting him think he's in charge. If he texts like that? No text back. If he does it again, he can pay for a third party to tell him he's out of order. The op doesn't need to waste anymore headspace on texting someone who isn't worth the text.

If he can't pay on time - even though 'early in the month' is a bit of a loose schedule - then it gets deducted at source. As you say, go through CMS - he can't complain because he's created this situation through his lateness and then rudeness. I'd just take it as a timely reminder of why you are no longer with him.

i think his message is clear. You’re not friends, so go visit cms to get your info, this isn’t an informal arrangement between you and he wishes no contact with you at all. It’s obviously an acrimonious relationship.

I’d reply saying ‘I just wanted to know when I’d get the CS 🤷🏻‍♀️’

I’m really sorry he’s sent you that. It’s horrible. He’s not a stranger to you, he’s the father of your children. I hope you’re ok xx

I'd send 'calm down sweetie' with a 😂 to follow.

It’s his new Mrs

Thank you x he is so dramatic. I've been dealing with him for so long that it's a relief to get some other eyes on this stuff. I wish it was chat GPT, but early on in our breakup I would get text after text of this type of thing. I think I had forgotten how strange it was as it's been fairly quiet between us for years.

😂 that's what he needs lol

That is a very bad idea.

But why would you think it might be changed if you’ve not heard anything from him for months?
I do think your message was quite passive aggressive tbh.

It's hilarious when they go down the formal style writing route 😂 they take themselves way too seriously.

I think she's nicer than him! Poor lady.

This

You have a date payment should be sent by on the schedule cms send. If it's 3 days beyond that request change of service to collect and pay. Then send the same response back when he contacts you because his payment has massively increased

Go through CMS then you never have to ask him for money again

Go through CMS then you never have to ask him for money again

Why? Are we supposed to take the moral high road and not descend to their level? 🙄 or avoid upsetting them in case they come over and beat us up?