Retired mums doing their fully grown adult kids washing for them - is this common?

[LittlePrecious]

I know four retired women who do their daughter's washing as a regular arrangement. I mean, not as a one-off because of some emergency.

Their daughters are all fully grown, functional adult women with no medical or mobility issues.

I was chatting with DP about it, and it turns out MIL also does this for DP's sister.

Is this 'a thing'? Is it actually quite common?

Thanks for that - do male genitals get in the way whilst doing laundry? Or are their brains do small they can’t figure out the intensely difficult task of sorting the darks from the lights? Or maybe the washing machine instructions are just too complicated. Folding clothes might be too much for them. Those poor men eh? There’s loads they can’t do.

Now your being daft.
But I don't know any woman who cuts grass for their children.

Maybe it's stereotypical roles maybe its excuse to be outside.

But saying only Mums help their adult children is silly. Dads do too but in different ways

Well I’m the only one who cuts grass in this house - occasionally the kids can be persuaded dh never does as he hates gardening not because he’s a man though. You have very funny ideas

I have funny ideas, I wasn't the one who brought up genitalia and washing machines.

I only commented that some men do actually want to lend a hand to adult children too. But its not normally the laundry, its cutting grass or washing cars.

You were the one who said men don't do laundry, they cut grass instead - you are hilarious. Newsflash! Men can do laundry and women can cut grass, their sex or their genitals makes no difference.

I know Mums who do washing, ironing, cleaning. Why the issue? You always want to help your kids out, no??

No different from looking after the grandkids. It's just an issue if geography. If you all lived in the same house, you would be all contributing to joint tasks.

My mum helped me when I started out in my professional career. I was working 12-14 hour days plus commutes to various places and was burning out. She decided it was something she could do to help so I replaced my washing machine with a dishwasher and paid her to do my laundry. She would have done it for free but I hate hate hate being dependant on people so I forced her to accept something. When I had kids I stopped as I needed to be able to wash stuff at home. Am really grateful to her.

I think if both parties are fine with the deal then crack on.

Do you know any Dads who collect their adult kids laundry? Really?

I don’t think they did, and I think that’s the point. My mam has to be physically stopped from doing my chores. She wants to do it, because she “knows what it’s like”. But she doesn’t. Our lives are very different. She was working, raising children, and doing pretty much all domestic duties. It didn’t occur to my mam that when we get home on an evening, I sort tea while my husband does homework. While I’m bathing our youngest, he’s making sure the school uniforms are ready for the morning. My dad would have never. She, and I believe it was true for a lot of these women, had to do it all themselves. They want to support their daughters to not have the same pressure on them.

When I was a child in the 60s my grandmother often did the washing for my mum, or the hoovering.
I've sometimes taken big blankets home to wash for DC when they didn't have anywhere to dry them. I'm happy to help because I am retired and they work very long hours.
Families helping each other.

I don't know any Dads who do any domestic chores for their adult kids

This
I have done my time adult child's washing and household's too
Don't see what the problem is

But you know Mums?

My mum often goes into my laundry basket and takes bedsheets away and brings them back to me washed and ironed.
it is so helpful and I keep telling her not to buy she wants to help me and this is a way that she can. I’m on my own with a toddler and a stressful job and it really helps!

My dad doesn’t as my mum banned him years ago after he caused a flood trying to do it. He helps my mum, me, and my son in plenty of other ways tho!

My neighbours mother does all their washing...,4 adults....collects it twice a week and brings it back on hangers all ironed puts it in their wardrobe then does the housework.

Only one and she only does it for her son, who has special needs.

Christ no I stopped doing my dcs’ washing when they turned fourteen.

I’m not retired but have helped dd clean her house/do her washing many times. Mostly following childbirth or when she’s unwell or overwhelmed.

She has a beautiful house and is much tidier than me. She has never asked, I’ve offered because I love her and remember how hard it is. People offer to take the dc off you to help but no one offers to fold your washing while you spend precious time with your babies (I also love having the children though!).

DS wouldn’t accept help!

I’ll introduce you to my husband who has been known to hoover dds house with dgc in the sling to get her to sleep!

My mum does help me with this. I’m a single parent, working 9 hours a day with two kids and a dog. I also can’t stay awake after 9pm 😂. I never ask her but she occasionally comes round and spirits it away, returning all nice and ironed. I’m so very grateful for the help, and I can never get my whites as white as she does. Love my mum!

My dh collects sheets and towels from our daughter every week, he passes her flat on his commute. I wash and dry it much more easily than she can because I have a large washing machine, outside and inside drying space and a tumble dryer. She manages the rest of her laundry and the rest of her life. We’re delighted to help

My DM stopped doing my laundry when I was 13 and she ruined everything anyway. My DF uses to do my laundry occasionally when my DS was small to stop it getting out of hand and he ironed for me. My DF's love language was acts of service and food.

I'd do it for my two even if it was so they had more free time to enjoy things.

All the best to you then. Enjoy your judgemental retirement.

I don’t see anything wrong at all, my daughter is at work I’m not, I She has never asked me and would happily do her own washing, I offer to do it, I like to help out.