Retired mums doing their fully grown adult kids washing for them - is this common?

[LittlePrecious]

I know four retired women who do their daughter's washing as a regular arrangement. I mean, not as a one-off because of some emergency.

Their daughters are all fully grown, functional adult women with no medical or mobility issues.

I was chatting with DP about it, and it turns out MIL also does this for DP's sister.

Is this 'a thing'? Is it actually quite common?

My (41) mum (76) insists on washing DD13s school uniform because she thinks I am incapable of getting a white shirt clean.... I think it just gives her something to do

She also washes my older brothers (44) work gear as it gets very dirty (he's a mechanic)

She likes to be useful

She also like baking and ordering tatt off eBay for us 😂

It gives her something to do with her days

Maybe they like helping out? Maybe if they are retired it fills a bit of time them.
Nobody else's business really

My mum does my brothers laundry, together with my sil’s mum.
The 2 grans do the cleaning and babysitting too 🤯. It would drive me insane to have two grans being so involved in the daily running of the house…

My kids did their own washing as teenagers when they were still at home. Each bedroom has it's own dirty washing hamper and our household ran along the lines of whoever needed a wash putting on, did it themselves but asked if anyone wanted to add anything. So often they were doing mine!

But I would still do their washing for them occasionally now they're in their late 30s, if I saw they were rushed off their feet. I'm retired and they and their partners work full time at stressful jobs, and one has little children.

I don't think either would want me doing it more then occasionally though.

My foster son brings his washing including bedding home most weekends. He is on a sport course and goes to the gym 4 times a week so sweaty mostly. DH does the laundry in our home. I do admit to making a rainbow Bolognese or a chicken gnocchi dish and put into 3 empty Chinese cartons for him to take back and freeze so he just has to cook up a bit of spaghetti to go with th Bolognese. It helps him out when he is busy with assignments. I don't mind at all as I'm not busy since early retirement.

There’s a grandma I talk to on the school run, she does pick up and drop off of her granddaughter every day and from what she says she does all the house work for her daughters family and had dinner ready for when they get his from work! She’s in her late 70s.

No. I don’t do that. And would only offer if their washing machine was broken. I like to keep
busy but stuffing clothes into a drum and pressing a button wouldn’t be enough.

I would never do this for my son and not my daughter. I do think it’s ridiculous in 2025 if a mother is mothering her adult son.

@openthewindoweveryday yes agree the laundrette is very expensive. Painful to hand over that amount but I just had to adjust my budget accordingly. My mum lives a 10 hour flight away unfortunately.

I don't think I know any adult whose mother does their washing for them. Mine has done her child raising, including housework tasks for my benefit. I've done my own washing since I started secondary school and it would be weird to have anyone else do it for me now. No judgment, just not something I have come across. Maybe if my machine was broken, but then I would just take it to her house and do it there myself. That said, they live over 90 minutes away, I live closer to local laundrettes.

Hmm. I now (mostly) do my 20 yo DSs washing - he still lives at home. When I was working full time he did his own laundry as I worked long hours and so he has done his own washing from the age of about 14.

Now I'm retired and he goes out to work at 5am, often not returning til 6 or 7pm and I'm at home I don't mind throwing his laundry in with ours.

It gets hung out and then folded. I don't iron.

It’s one of the only things I feel comfortable doing as cooking in her kitchen is very awkward.

@IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece

do you always overreact like this? Life must be stressful for you.

I live at home and my mum does my washing for me, how could I possibly do my own I’m only 28!

Jokes aside, it just works better having one person in charge of washing otherwise you go to use the machine and it’s in use, everyone uses it in one day and there’s nowhere to dry stuff etc. I do 90% of the cooking so it’s just what works for us!

I would do my 2 daughters washing any time and they are married now , but under my terms not just when they wanted me too .
so if they want to do it nothing to do with anyone

I think it’s about the mums wanting to be needed. I know a few professional women who allow their mothers to come and clean their homes despite being perfectly capable of doing it themselves. It’s dine with a loving eye roll

That’s one thing I will never do 😂 tidy my daughters house ( canny even tidy my own)

My son is in the RAF he brings his washing and his bedding home every weekend I don't mind a bit.

If my children lived nearer and I could choose a task to help them out then absolutely it would be their laundry. On Mumsnet there are many who think grandparents should help with childcare, laundry is a tiny thing in comparison, the machine does most of it! Young families are ridiculously busy with work and modern parenting, it's a very small thing to do to help them out.

Do they not have washing machines on his base?

What is modern parenting? Im not being pedantic but what is different from your parenting to theirs ?

My Mum hasn’t put a wash on for me since I was about 14!! I did date a guy whose Mum let himself into his flat regularly to do his laundry and dishes once while I was reclining in his bed. Gave me the absolute thundering ick.

OMG someone doing a fiddly task like ironing or mending would be great. When SIL’s dad used to visit from overseas she’d have to find him DIY jobs to keep busy.

my parents have helped with washing when I had baby babies or if we’ve been ill. My MIL does BIL’s washing and wants to do all her kids laundry but I find it uncomfortable AND she washes everything boiling hot, hot dryer, and then folds it all in one unsorted pile so by the time I sort I may as well have folded and even one or two sneaky loads a year she’ll always manage to ruin something expensive we can’t easily afford to replace.

I also know a lot whose parents bring them home cooking - my mum used to do that every time she visited my brother, but as they are getting on I’m sending my parents food about once a month.

Of course they do! But the machines are old and there's no tumble dryer just a drying room that leaves his clothes stiff if not stolen.

Fair enough, I was just being nosey.