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Very uncomfortable with something that happened at a party

349 replies

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:27

At a big black tie party. Fancy expensive hotel. Men all in dj’s, women all dressed up.

sitting at a table with some relatives including grown up dd

a man come up, pushes a ballon into my boobs I try and push him away and he pops it thus copping two handfuls. I’m gobsmacked

he comes in to do it again, I’m pushing him away shouting no. My daughter is up shouting no. He does it again. I go up to him and say there people here are allergic to latex, you are literally risking lives. He laughs and tells me to f off

dh his highly allergic to latex and he’s pushing balloons into faces and boobs

dd looks at me, says are you ok. I realise I’m nearly vomiting and run to the toilets

peopke at the table go and have words with him

dh threatens to go speak to him but I talk him down as I I could see she was beyond anger and I didn’t want him doing anything rash

i can’t see him anymore

i I rejoin table and enjoy chatting

out the blue, there’s a balloon in my face - it’s him again. I’m now so distressed I leave the party and go to my room

hubby is now apoplectic- he knows I have never ever reacted to something like this - I laugh stuff off - redirect wandering hands, deal with stuff without getting hysterical or upset. In 30 years, he’s never seen me like this and keeps saying this is assault, we should call the police - he grabbed your boobs despite you saying no

im told he’s left the party so go back down (I’m not drinking btw)

all good, go to loo and he appears in the foyer

i freeze and run back up to the room and refuse to come back down

ive refused to go to down to breakfast

not sure how I should of handled it - last night I was so distressed I just ran

OP posts:
Thecowardlydonkey · 19/10/2025 09:30

Your DH was absolutely right. Calling the police would have been the right thing to do. Is he still there/identifiable? You could still call and report it this morning. Hope you are feeling OK?

ThisjobisNotforme · 19/10/2025 09:31

He sexually assaulted you. You aren’t overreacting.

was he a guest of the party? The hotel.

Talltreesbythelake · 19/10/2025 09:32

You were sexually assaulted, I am so sorry. It is horrible to realise. Do you feel able to involve the police today? There might be CCTV and witnesses if you act quickly. Take care of yourself today, you will need time to recover.

ThisjobisNotforme · 19/10/2025 09:32

And people aren’t seeing the sexual assault immediately is hidden behind the ballon and invasion of personal space.

You aren’t overreacting.

A671090 · 19/10/2025 09:33

What was the party? And do you know him or who he is?
Im not sure why your refusing to go down to breakfast?

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:35

Still at hotel. Yes witnesses. Known guest - private party. Thank you. I feel guilty that I overreacted, ruining peoples nights. I feel violated

OP posts:
Jayinthetub · 19/10/2025 09:37

You’re not overreacting and I’m sorry something so horrible happened to you. You’ve been assaulted and how you are feeling is the impact of trauma. It is definitely not an overreaction to involve the police if you want to do this. Big hugs

Tamfs · 19/10/2025 09:37

That was repeated sexual assault, combined with the humiliation of it being in front of others. Probably with a balloon kink thrown in. I'm not surprised you feel like this. If that's what he does in front of a room full of people, then what would he do on a 1:1.

ApolloandDaphne · 19/10/2025 09:39

That is awful. Does this man have form for behaving in this way and getting away with it? I would go to the police. At the very minimum they might go and speak to him about his shocking behaviour.

Jayinthetub · 19/10/2025 09:39

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:35

Still at hotel. Yes witnesses. Known guest - private party. Thank you. I feel guilty that I overreacted, ruining peoples nights. I feel violated

To reiterate - you didn’t overreact and he ruined people’s nights, not you. How would you be thinking about this if he did this to your DD? You need to give yourself the same grace.

runningonberocca · 19/10/2025 09:56

You didn’t over react. What a vile creature that man is. He sexually assaulted you, repeatedly, in front of your husband and family. Creep probably thinks he can get away with it. If you feel able to then report to the police. Even if you are undecided make a formal report to the hotel as they may have cctv footage that police may need at a later date. And write everything down today while fresh in your mind.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It was so violating. Your husband and daughter sound great though. Please look after yourself.

TheaBrandt1 · 19/10/2025 09:59

That’s terrible. Poor you he is entirely to blame for any fall out not you. What were you supposed to do then? Laugh along as he grabbed your breasts?

Velvian · 19/10/2025 10:00

You are not overreacting OP. He sounds extremely dangerous. Report him. I bet this isn't his first offence. I'm honestly at the point where I think physical violence is the only response to get these predators to stop.

Ratafia · 19/10/2025 10:00

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:35

Still at hotel. Yes witnesses. Known guest - private party. Thank you. I feel guilty that I overreacted, ruining peoples nights. I feel violated

You didn't overreact. Was he doing this to all the women? I'm amazed anyone tolerated it. I'm sure my instinctive reaction would have been to kick him in the balls.

Sigmamood · 19/10/2025 10:00

What a fucking creep. I am so sorry you experienced this and I’m enraged on your behalf.
please do report to police.

chunkybear · 19/10/2025 10:02

Definitely report to the police - would anyone else know who he is?

Livelaughlurgy · 19/10/2025 10:03

I think you were reacting to the wrong thing, the latex is secondary or less to what happened to you. It doesn't matter if the balloon was made of cotton wool. That's irrelevant to the massively inappropriateness of his behaviour.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 19/10/2025 10:03

I’d call the police now. They can test him for drugs, for a start. Then you can decide if you want to press charges. You’ve got enough witnesses.

And no, you weren’t being unreasonable. Did he do this to anyone else?

blacksax · 19/10/2025 10:03

I'd have thrown a drink over him if he'd done that to me. I would quite possibly also have smacked the fucker in the face.

JaniceBattersby · 19/10/2025 10:05

I think you’ve under-reacted tbh, along with everyone else at the party. Did nobody grab him off and haul him out? I can’t believe he didn’t take a punch to the chops tbh.

You should definitely call the police. It’s sexual assault.

ittakes2 · 19/10/2025 10:06

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:35

Still at hotel. Yes witnesses. Known guest - private party. Thank you. I feel guilty that I overreacted, ruining peoples nights. I feel violated

The guilt is not your’s - please throw that away. It’s this horrible man’s. He behaved badly - you did nothing wrong. Please take a deep breath and expel any ideas that you should feel guilty - you have every right to be as mad as hell and if anyone doesn’t support you on that, then that’s their problem.

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 10:08

Jayinthetub · 19/10/2025 09:39

To reiterate - you didn’t overreact and he ruined people’s nights, not you. How would you be thinking about this if he did this to your DD? You need to give yourself the same grace.

I’d be in police custody if he’d touched my daughter! Fair point xxxx

OP posts:
CatherinedeBourgh · 19/10/2025 10:08

I am gobsmacked that he wasn't kicked out of the party the first time he did it!

Comefromaway · 19/10/2025 10:08

You didn’t ruin peoples night. He did.

AbsentosaurusRex · 19/10/2025 10:10

You didn’t over react. You’ve not ruined anyone’s night. The balloon sexual assault man did that all by himself.

Called police, give his name and details. The man can’t get away with it. Most good people, will support you. If they don’t - well they’re not worth knowing. x