The psychology behind peoples WhatsApp settings

[lovenotwar149]

SoI have WhatsApp and you can see my 'last seen' etc
I have a few contacts that have hidden this so when I msg them I cannot see when they were last online nor do the ticks go blue when they have read my message. The only time I see 'online' with these contacts is if they reply to my message and start typing when I am messaging them.

Why do you think ppl have their 'last seen' hidden? I find it suspicious tbh

its like a mini red flag to me

Agree - find it quite odd.

Esperanza25

Im so glad its not just me

I have it hidden because I don't want to feel pressured to reply to stuff when I don't have time. There are people who want replies the instant you're online and they can be a pain.

Esperanza25

Wanna be my WhatsApp friend - I wont hide from you - loool

Urgh this has been done a million times before on here.
I have ‘last seen’ hidden because 1) Why would I want anyone to know when I was last online? And 2) Why would anyone care when I was last online? I don’t actually know anyone who has it enabled.
What do you think it’s a red flag for? Personally I think someone caring so much about it is a red flag.

Almostwelsh

I see

I’m more curious about the psychology of someone who would view this as “suspicious” and start a mumsnet thread about it

It's not odd behaviour at all. My last seen etc is hidden because my sister, who lives her life on whatsapp, if she sees me on line, she will call me, or message me and sometimes I just cant be arsed. Why does anyone care if I'm online or not, and I read a message I don't want to feel I need to reply within ten seconds. It's respecting boundaries. Same as I don't like read receipts on emails, it's the same thing.

DingDongJingle
I love your answer. I didn't know this has been done on here before ,I use this site but have long long periods when I dont. I dont care so much , just have thought about it and I am curious , thats all

But “last seen” is enabled by default unless you choose to turn it off (I think?)

So if you truly didn’t care then surely you’d have left it on the default setting?

I have it hidden to specifically avoid people knowing if I’ve read their message. I will read and reply in my own good time and dislike the pressure of the ‘blue ticks’.

If I had a friend / partner who set store by them, my red flags would be waving.

Mywindow

loool

Why don’t you start a thread about the partner in your life who has their WhatsApp setting to private - and you’re suspicious of them?!

minipie

very good point!

Mywindow

I like your sense of humour, we should meet up I have a cracking SOH too

I didn’t say I don’t care. I actively don’t want people knowing when I was last online, that’s why I switched it off.
I meant that I think people caring that other people have it switched off is a red flag. Why do they so desperately want to know when someone was last online?

This is exactly it for me. DM expects instant responses from me so I decided not to have the last seen on. It's annoying for the recipient I appreciate that, but the pressure is too much sometimes. I don't always want to communicate and I need peace and quiet.

I have mine turned off. I have a couple of friends who are very hurt if they can see that I've read their message but not responded. It does not always work for me to respond as soon as I've read, so I turned it off. I would rather that they were more reasonable, but I'm not going to end the friendship over it so I'm ok with it as a compromise. It was no loss for me because I don't care about seeing when others were last on.

What are you suspicious about?

I have last seen hidden because sometimes I want to reply to somebody but not to another person and I don’t want the pressure of them seeing I’ve been online but not replied to them. And in turn, if I could see somebody had been online but not replied to me I would get anxious that I’d done something wrong!

AgnesMcDoo

Great question....

It indicates secrecy to me

This, seems to be more red flaggy to be insistent on monitoring others actions and movement

blankcanvas3

I can see this perspective

And what’s wrong with that? Why the expectation that all these things should be open?