The psychology behind peoples WhatsApp settings

[lovenotwar149]

SoI have WhatsApp and you can see my 'last seen' etc
I have a few contacts that have hidden this so when I msg them I cannot see when they were last online nor do the ticks go blue when they have read my message. The only time I see 'online' with these contacts is if they reply to my message and start typing when I am messaging them.

Why do you think ppl have their 'last seen' hidden? I find it suspicious tbh

That's strange. It indicates privacy, boundaries and personal autonomy to me.

I think the fact that the OP views it as a red flag is a red flag in itself.

Love your name btw, I'm a huge LOG fan.

Strange conclusion there.

The only person I know who does this is a builder and I assume he doesn’t want to be bugged.

I have it hidden because clients sometimes feel like its OK to Whatsapp me at any time day or night and I don't want them monitoring my activity. Contact via whatsapp is not something I have agreed to but they do it anyway.

because my exH who i have on whatsapp gets pissy if i show as having read something and not replied.

if my friends think its 'sus' then thats a them problem, not my problem, i'm just protecting myself.

My DB and SIL have it hidden so you can't accuse them of ignoring you, which is ridiculous because they both have their phones effectively stitched to their hands 😂. I find it so contrived - I'm perfectly happy for a person to know I've ignored them, and if they bug me I ignore that too! (I've also never been bothered to find out how to switch these various things on/off).

Hi @lovenotwar149 i have it hidden from years of online dating where i would get stressed over someone not replying to my messages despite being online. I read it here on mumsnet how switching off last seen helped her mental health. I did the same and have never looked back!!!

Being hidden is good, being constantly notified by social media or WhatsApp is like someone yelling through your letterbox every 5 minutes trying to get your attention.
People are allowed privacy you know.

I use my WhatsApp a lot for work. Much more than email. I have all my settings locked because if clients see you're online and you don't reply instantly then they can be relentless. I'd never get any work done.

well you are hardly the most objective on that Op

I find the "last seen" option too useful - I like to see my husband and kids have seen my message, I don't care if they haven't got time or round to reply, but if it's important, I need to contact them another way if my last message stays unseen

If not for that, I would remove it just to wind up people like the OP 😂

Knowing that people are actually monitoring your activity is claustrophobic at best, and frankly weird.

You say you are suspicious of people because you have “good reason to be”

Maybe start a thread about that

Thanks to this thread I was alerted to that setting, so have now gone and turned off my online status 😄

I don't want to be spied on. Like others, I like my privacy. I had already locked down my Facebook so nobody can see when/whether I'm on it.

I have my settings private because i have a couple of friends who don’t “ take the hint” when im busy or don’t want to talk! Its easier this way because i can just ignore them until im ready. Its actually quite invasive of someone’s privacy to sit there checking when they were last online etc.

hopefully whoever it is your stalking reads this and realises what a psycho control freak you are.. I have many many people on my WhatsApp work colleagues bosses etc etc, no I don't want all and sundry monitoring when I'm online, I also read the preview of the message before I open it to see if it something a bit more substantial than, hey.. or WYD... ffs

Mine is turned off because a lot of people can be a nuisance if you don't reply straightaway. Turning off the blue ticks means they don't know you've read the message and you can reply at an appropriate time.

I have mine switched off because I don't usually have the time or inclination to respond to messages immediately, but I had people getting snitty with me for leaving them 'on read'. Now they can't see if I've read their message and I can reply at my leisure without anyone getting mardy.

Very weird thread. OP is suspicious of everyone, yet on the first page asks to be someone’s WhatsApp friend and suggests a meet up with someone as they both have a similar sense of humour 🤨😵‍💫😵‍💫
Then writes a bizarre joke about being a stalker … okaaaaay 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Why?

I have mine turned off because some people are very slow responders. When I send a message I imagine anyone is thrilled to receive it and can't wait to respond immediately! Turns out that's not always strictly the case and people want to wait to reply. I turn it off so that I don't irritate myself by seeing that they've read it and not replied.

even if people would like to respond, often they are busy and can glance to see the message, but would not be able to reply

If you are driving, in a meeting, or doing a million things, typing back is not always convenient

Also sometimes I want to have a think before I respond to a message/invitation/suggestion whatever, without letting them know that I'm having a think.

I had it hidden due to needy (now ex) friends basically stalking me and asking why I read their message and didn’t reply yet (about half an hour later when I was with friends)

When I don’t reply immediately after reading it’s because I’m busy and want to send a thoughtful response later, when others don’t reply immediately it’s because they hate me