The Victoria Beckham documentary - is this a weird perspective of mine?

[Jessekate]

Just reading about tonight's premiere of VB's documentary and seeing the Beckhams lined up ready to watch it, and all I can think of is how awful it is for the kids (and particularly Harper) having to watch all this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't ever be vulnerable in front of our kids and I know they have to understand the real world etc etc, but it just seems like such a lot for a 14 year old to have to absorb about a parent. So much vulnerability, all the stuff about eating (or lack of), VB being bullied as a child, her low self esteem. I look at my DD and DS (13 and 17) and think how worried they would be to hear all that about me and how anxious and protective it would make them feel, and in turn, how guilty I would feel. I don't think it's something that any amount of material wealth could compensate for. It would have such an impact on them, and not in a good way, I think.

I applaud VB for being so open, but part of me thinks it might have been a documentary to have done when all her kids were older...at least well out of their teens.

I also remember watching the David documentary and they were talking about how footie fans used to shout 'Posh spice takes it up the a*e' and again, all I could think of was....your kids are going to watch this. I was cringing on my sofa!!

I'm late 40s so maybe a bit old fashioned, but to me a lot about parenting is about having very filtered conversations in front of kids, even (or maybe especially) teenagers.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, although I probably do, lol! Just interested to hear other viewpoints, as everyone is going on about how amazing the documentary will be, but it can't be an easy watch for everyone in that family.

But that’s probably a reflection on her upbringing, what’s been demonstrated as “normal” and what to aspire to. Though I accept it’s probably too late to change that

Well I don’t think either parent gives much thought of how their actions impact their kids tbh. I’m sure they love them dearly but I think being in the public eye has skewed their thinking

But she's only got one girl and she's making sure that she's dressing her up the only way she knows herself. She'll be encouraged to focus on being superficial and pretty, vacuous etc. She doesn't know any different.

Sad.

I feel sorry for harper because I had a beautiful petite mother and I was taller and just overall bigger due to height. I always felt dumpy even though my mum never did anything to push a certain look/emphasis on clothes and make up. So I’m probably projecting to how much harder it would be if I had also been splashed all over the papers!!

I think Harper is a normal size. Her mum makes her look bigger because she’s very slim, but wasn’t a super slim teenager herself.

Yes, I knew previous head of her school & the ethos not about above at all. Disappointing. I guess it’s all been a winning formula for VB - has it brought personal fulfilment & happiness? VB certainly has grit & determination.

Gwyneth’s daughter - surprisingly ? - doesn’t seem to be on academic path, although Gwyneth looked to push the academics early on.

I can think of is how awful it is for the kids

Why in earth would you push your dc into the limelight to propel your brand. They don't even need the money.

If she’s not Hollywood thin in that world she wants to join it’ll be a tough gig. Sadly, I think we’ll see her continue to shrink.

I’m off sick and have watched all of it. It’s three hours in total and the eating disorder is discussed for about four minutes and not in any detail. It’s mentioned in context of the press writing shit about her every day and the pressure that causes.

On a different note, I’ve never heard their names mentioned in relation to any of the phone hacking/illegal information gathering cases yet that was all going on when
they were peak tabloid fodder. They must’ve been subjected to it surely…

I wish my family had talked about mental health and issues they had when I was growing up instead of acting so perfect that I felt abnormal and kept all my problems and feelings to myself

I ask myself would I have the drive and balls to put myself out there and take all the criticism, if I had a multi millionaire husband and 4 children. I wouldn’t.
She talks about the pressure, the critics, the hurt. Yet she carried on.

I’ve only watched 2 episodes, but so far there is plenty to admire.

Made me laugh that the DM has Amanda platell saying ‘I’m sorry I did that to you posh’

its like she does a cycle - slags a woman off (or eamonn - your horrible wife wouldn’t stand by you) follows by a sickly apology (or Ruth, what a car, I’m so sorry I doubted you). I don’t pay but the headlines are enough. I mean Amanda love, maybe have a good think before you write the slag off article?

I met the whole family a few times through work and they were all lovely and the kids were a real credit to them, don’t believe the haters

My 14 year old ‘wants’ a lot of things and is not naturally or overly academic. He’s going to school and being supported to do the best he can, and is strongly encouraged in creative subjects. He can’t have lots of late nights or busy time, he needs to be there every day because he’s not someone who finds it all easy, he needs every bit of his education. It’s not academia VS vacuous influencer. It’s about doing the best you can for your child and them then having a decent foundation in life. You can’t throw a child’s education away at 14 and let things slide into influencing, it’s unbelievably irresponsible.

It depends on your belief & value systems. They have the cushion of vast wealth & perhaps, to VB, having a make-up line & flourishing fashion empire, where you have real influence, the pinnacle of success for Harper. She can try to eliminate any struggle perhaps as she sees it. IMO VB felt ‘less than’ growing up & she wants Harper to be ‘more than’ & feted. A better looking more determined & successful version of VB.

I imagine your sensible & laudable goals for your son would be unchanged (?) whether you had multi millions or not but maybe it’s easy to think.

Trinny has increasingly put her daughter forward into her business realm. I guess one difference is her daughter is an adult.

Was Brooklyn still speaking to them at that point?

Yes, it's the mantra of the shit parent. Why these days? What has changed since the other days?

But carry on for what? It's all self serving. It's not as if she had to do any of it.

Fair play if she's driven for her own career but she's exploited her own kids to advance brand Beckham. So has DB.

I think a fear of losing face/status & falling into debt/wanting to be very rich & win & ‘show them all’ a driver.

I agree with you that if I was a multimillionaire I might feel differently about my childrens’ futures. Less scared, maybe, more sure that I can solve whatever problems arise I guess.

I really think if I won the lottery right now I’d still want them to be educated and socialised for the sake of it, though. I mean it quite genuinely, like I want them to get a good understanding of science and Shakespeare and hang out with kids their own age and make (some) mistakes, have their weird fashion stages, come home telling me about coastal erosion and someone who’s scones were so hard in food tech that they physically couldn’t bite through them, and did I know that Macbeth was based on a real king. I can teach my kids the school of life, take them to the theatre and museums and all the things that we do, but I’d never have the man hours to get the sheer volume of knowledge that school provides into their heads. I also wouldn’t keep them for weeks and weeks at a time away from their peers. Online doesn’t really count for me they should be with other children as much as possible. Harper can make choices when she’s 18 like a normal human, it’s hugely unhealthy to let her follow a dream of self obsessed influencer bullshit from age 14 - there’s a reason she can’t vote yet!

There’s a reason also why none of their other kids can do a single bloody thing very well at all, they are all gormless and bring nothing to anyone’s table apart from more fame upon fame. Victoria herself is an anomaly. What’s worked is being driven and having an also extremely famous husband, it’s all been a perfect storm that they’ve chased since they got together. Her fashion business would have fallen to pieces without constant cash injections, it was not viable. Her career as a solo singer was crap. She isn’t as good as she thinks she is without about multiple crutches and financial boosting. Those kids will learn no business or financial skills from her or David. The reason David is successful is because of his IMO abusive dad. Then after football his status is because he’s got no shame and would sell his own children for an OK photo shoot that makes him look hot. Both of them are nothing to aim after, they’re no better than these shilling families like Father of Daughters or whoever on instagram.

Her fashion house had to be propped up by David’s money for a long time. That’s fine and all but I would have thought that may have served as a warning about losing it all and making sure you have enough drive and skill to be able to make it back or push through to success

Harsh maybe, but pretty fair, IMO.

I think they value status, looks & wealth above all else. Brooklyn marrying Nicola Peltz perhaps the ultimate cautionary tale in that regard. Others may mock, but he’s ‘won’ in terms of all the family values, explicitly laid out from birth. Be careful what you wish for.

Personally I’d be using my resources to give my children an enriching, cultural education & would have prioritised that from get go. Imagine all that’s possible. Music, art, language fluency, etc…

Is that you Meghan?

This 100%

I thought the documentary showed Victoria in a very good light and I admire her for her resilience in coping with the adversity she has had to face. Just read some of the vicious hate comments on the MOL to see what she has to endure on a daily basis.

I’ve now watched all of it. VB candidly talks about David having to bail her out, the silly
mistakes she made and the responsibility she felt. If she’d have given up she’d have been criticised.. instead it sounded like it really mattered to her to turn it round.
I thought she came across really well. Her kids aren’t in it that much; she doesn’t refer to them a lot.