The Victoria Beckham documentary - is this a weird perspective of mine?

[Jessekate]

Just reading about tonight's premiere of VB's documentary and seeing the Beckhams lined up ready to watch it, and all I can think of is how awful it is for the kids (and particularly Harper) having to watch all this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't ever be vulnerable in front of our kids and I know they have to understand the real world etc etc, but it just seems like such a lot for a 14 year old to have to absorb about a parent. So much vulnerability, all the stuff about eating (or lack of), VB being bullied as a child, her low self esteem. I look at my DD and DS (13 and 17) and think how worried they would be to hear all that about me and how anxious and protective it would make them feel, and in turn, how guilty I would feel. I don't think it's something that any amount of material wealth could compensate for. It would have such an impact on them, and not in a good way, I think.

I applaud VB for being so open, but part of me thinks it might have been a documentary to have done when all her kids were older...at least well out of their teens.

I also remember watching the David documentary and they were talking about how footie fans used to shout 'Posh spice takes it up the a*e' and again, all I could think of was....your kids are going to watch this. I was cringing on my sofa!!

I'm late 40s so maybe a bit old fashioned, but to me a lot about parenting is about having very filtered conversations in front of kids, even (or maybe especially) teenagers.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, although I probably do, lol! Just interested to hear other viewpoints, as everyone is going on about how amazing the documentary will be, but it can't be an easy watch for everyone in that family.

I do agree with your sentiment, but I think all the things you've mentioned are already "out there." Their lives are and always have been under the microscope, so whatever Victoria talks about has likely already been discussed in the past.

It is a shame, as this documentary will drag the family back into the limelight for further backlash. I always feel sorry for the kids because they don't ask for it..

I think “indulged” is the right word, @Codyrhodesisaheel.

I disagree. By the age of 14 kids will hear about all kinds of things that are more shocking than eating disorders and football chants. Talking about struggles and then overcoming them is a valuable part of teaching children how to navigate problems in life. I think many children are deprived of this honesty and expect things to be easy because their parents aren’t honest with them. Maybe the older boomer generations had it right when they told children about how hard life was ‘when I was your age’ - this is modelling resilience. It must have worked for many of us gen x-ers as we are a tough bunch!

Isn’t there a difference between sitting g down and having the conversation with your kids and broadcasting it to the world?

I would hope none of this was news to the kids on premiere night!!!

@Bruisername

I am assuming they had already talked to their kids about these things, and so the documentary is no great revelation. The OP suggested that parents shouldn’t be open about their struggles with their children and that is what I disagree with. Most of this content is already in the public domain so I don’t see any harm with the documentary. In fact, it gives VB to frame the narrative from her perspective. This is completely different to a Meghan and Harry documentary where they feed the media with content which was harmful or hurtful about members of their family (the royal family)

I am sure the same could have been said about Brooklyn at the same age and that hasn't worked out so well for the family dynamic. I know the popular narrative is that it's all Nicola's fault but he can't have been entirely happy to have gone non contact with them so publically.

I think they only reveal their 'truth' on their terms for reasons of profile and money.
They aren't telling the real truth about their relationship etc.

I feel sorry for their children who have been dragged into the spotlight/paparazzi world.

There will be a disconnect between what they project in these documentaries and what the kids see at home

Shockingly, you can tell your children about your experiences and be vulnerable, not shield them from reality….. without keeping them permanently in the public eye and selling their lives to the Daily Mail. It has never been necessary and they’re already making steps towards making Harper some kind of influencer, and she hasn’t been at school for what seems like weeks (as per daily mail pap pics). My child is the same exact age although not at private school. The sheer volume of work and homework he’s got going on at the moment there’s no way poor Harper can be focusing on results, whilst also being at fashion weeks and on yachts non stop for weeks.

Someone said they did, and I was responding to that. I don't have anything to do with football in any way.

Agree. And you’d have thought after the issues she has with her eldest she’d maybe be reflecting on whether her usual approach to all this is the best?

Some interesting perspectives!
I’m also curious as to why their families have never stepped in and told her and DB that over-exposing the children is not a great thing to do. They seem close to their families and people often listen to those who know them best. Or maybe they are all just wrapped up in the celebrity bubble after so many years in the limelight..

This.

VB talks about bullying and being body shamed.

Yet she's happy to parade her 14 year old in adult dresses, in a vapid world where superficial rules. Her daughter has already been exposed to comments about her weight. Sorry but VB hasn't my sympathy, it rings a bit hollow.

VB also didn't just have an eating disorder, she still has one.

As a mother, I just want to put Harper in a tracksuit, tie her hair back, take off all the slap and let her go to school like every other kid.

It might be she’s trying to help her develop a rhino hide. If she wants to be an influencer in that vapid world, as you say, she’ll need it.

Ideally you wouldn’t groom your child for the world of paps and influencing. Probably more useful than developing a rhino hide after being exposed since babyhood. I know nothing of the other spice girls kids. Maybe send Harper to school and keep her off social media? Stop getting her hair dyed and lip injections and having her advertise VB products? Could do that 🤷‍♀️

She did make me laugh when she said she was annoyed at Mel B for saying ‘don't forget where you’ve come from’. (Good on Mel B!)

Insisting that she was very aware whilst speaking in a fake posh accent that was very different to her Mums and also making a whole episode on how she trying to ditch the WAG and spice girl image. Her and Geri are both like this.

The other 3 spice girls are much more down to earth and still have other careers.

All true but if not academic & wants this?

I’ve got a 14 year old and find the adultification of HB really strange. Spending do much of her time away from home, dressed and made up as an adult, always with adults in adult environments like fashion shows, formal restaurants or making tik toks about mum’s products.

I hope she has lots of time being a child as well- hanging out with her mates, going to school, age appropriate hobbies, sport, time away from tech and social media etc.

Geri & VB have a yearning to be upper middle class & accepted by that world.

If the child wants to be an influencer at 14, any mother worth their salt would say fine but not now. Go to school, get your education, live a little and then you can decide.

A phrase I heard the other day made me laugh. They are high on their own fumes and they probably think they are very special, so they probably think this is a great world for their 14 year old.

I find it quite sad but then I'm sure they don't give two f**ks what I think when they are rolling in money and living the high life!

BBC article refers to her as Lady Beckham throughout - bet she loves that!!

it’s all very image based

True. It’s odd as she aspires to be upper middle class & most wouldn’t be doing this. Geri similar & I think she’ll have Oxbridge or Ivy aspirations for Bluebell who looks to be academic.

Yes I agree with you op. Parents embarrass their teenage children by just existing so a situation like this must be absolutely unbearable for Harper and the boys.

I’ve watched the first episode and I like her on it, but like others on here I can’t get my head around how Harper is being brought up. Can they really not see the risks of putting photos of her wearing her very identifiable school-uniform on Instagram? Or by giving her so much public exposure?

She knows exactly what she's doing. It's all about business and earning money for the Beckham Empire. Don't let vulnerabilities get in the way of that.