The Victoria Beckham documentary - is this a weird perspective of mine?

[Jessekate]

Just reading about tonight's premiere of VB's documentary and seeing the Beckhams lined up ready to watch it, and all I can think of is how awful it is for the kids (and particularly Harper) having to watch all this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't ever be vulnerable in front of our kids and I know they have to understand the real world etc etc, but it just seems like such a lot for a 14 year old to have to absorb about a parent. So much vulnerability, all the stuff about eating (or lack of), VB being bullied as a child, her low self esteem. I look at my DD and DS (13 and 17) and think how worried they would be to hear all that about me and how anxious and protective it would make them feel, and in turn, how guilty I would feel. I don't think it's something that any amount of material wealth could compensate for. It would have such an impact on them, and not in a good way, I think.

I applaud VB for being so open, but part of me thinks it might have been a documentary to have done when all her kids were older...at least well out of their teens.

I also remember watching the David documentary and they were talking about how footie fans used to shout 'Posh spice takes it up the a*e' and again, all I could think of was....your kids are going to watch this. I was cringing on my sofa!!

I'm late 40s so maybe a bit old fashioned, but to me a lot about parenting is about having very filtered conversations in front of kids, even (or maybe especially) teenagers.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, although I probably do, lol! Just interested to hear other viewpoints, as everyone is going on about how amazing the documentary will be, but it can't be an easy watch for everyone in that family.

If you don’t follow “tabloid gossip or other stuff in the media” I don’t think you are at all qualified to comment as you have done on the so called paparazzi hounding of the Beckhams, you clearly have no idea how it all operates at all.

Anyway I really enjoyed the show, personally I didn’t find in boring at all, I thought Victoria looked fabulous, she is so well groomed and her clothes she was wearing were just gorgeous. I do agree with the majority that she really isn’t a designer and is just a figurehead who sweeps in with her ideas and the staff do her bidding. I cannot get over how the business was 38 million in the red and despite now having an investor how do you ever recoup that money? Let alone start to make a profit, I just do not see how it will ever be a viable business, if it hasn’t made a profit and has been running at a massive loss for nearly 20 years.

I find it very odd that brand Beckham seems to have separate finances, Victoria having to go cap in hand to David asking for money just seemed bizarre to me, I also thought David was a bit too gleeful when he said she used to be far richer than him at the beginning of their relationship and she was the one who purchased Beckingham Palace and now it’s the other way round. The power imbalance is completely off in their relationship, he holds all the cards financially and emotionally and it feels like she is begging for his scraps in both areas, it can’t be an easy way for her to live despite the fame and fortune.

Agree & you’re last paragraph nails it.

I like VB but I hoped to see more of a cultural or fiscal/commercial/‘business’ evolution in doc - ‘I went off to learn to pattern cut/sketch see how books balance/took a business course & some more joyful cheeriness & playfulness perhaps? She seemed happier in the DB doc. Have things shifted or is it because she wants to be taken seriously?

The power imbalance is completely off in their relationship, he holds all the cards financially and emotionally and it feels like she is begging for his scraps in both areas, it can’t be an easy way for her to live despite the fame and fortune.

He also holds all the cards when in comes to level of raw talent, career opportunities, longevity and success as well as positive public opinion.

He also chose to fulfill many of his ambitions or ego needs whenever it suited him - and packing up and moving country regardless of the impact it has on his wife and DCs (as many successful men do.)

She will also be aware she could be past her ‘sell-by date’ in his world where many of his colleagues are on the second marriage with the younger wife and second set of children.

No wonder she looks sad and depleted.

Harper attends the same school as the Sunak's girls.

She most definitely does not!
They did attend the same prep school several years ago, but are at very different upper schools.

Great post & presumably as his income continues to eclipse hers this power imbalance & her malaise may grow?

Maybe VB was hoping for a more academic future for Harper than she now seems to be pushing (make-up etc) ? The prep was an excellent choice & grounding to nourish any academic/intellectual hopes & future intentions/ambitions in that regard.

Harper's attendance at that prep school was coincidental with yummy Mummies suddenly taking an interest in dropping and picking up their offspring (luckily, geo tagged so they could recognise them) instead of the daytime Nanny. DB was very insistent on being there for drop offs / pick ups. Nothing to do with yummy Mummies having more to lose if Hedge Fund husbands had evidence of said 'ladies' indulging in playing with balls, particularly of the golden variety.

They’re very upper middle class too - he seems to like the type. I noticed him too & things were as you say, but maybe, to give him credit, he’s always leaned into the school run?

she will always put talking about herself first and above anything

I watched the 3rd episode and it annoyed me -probably more than it should!
She talked a lot about how she had worked so hard at the fashion brand, and it was so hard to ask David for money (do they not have a brand Beckham joint account?)

...but it wasnt as if she started at the beginning, doing a fashion or drawing course, or cutting patterns, or sewing. Then she said she didnt know anything about business even though her dad had his own business (as an excuse why the company made losses) but in a way, quite arrogant to go into it without experience of designing or business, and open a huge store in Mayfair, and expect to make a profit in year 1.

DH is self employed, he started a business from nothing, after leaving school with very few qualifications. (no financial input from anyone else) Hes had good years and really lean years and some losses, to the point we thought we might have to remortgage our house, we maxed out our credit cards, we didnt have anyone to bail us out. It was really stressful, and kept me awake at night. We've got through it and its been on an upward trajectory for about 6 years, and doing well this year, but that was scary.
There's just not the same level of risk when you've got millions in the bank

Heh heh @PinkPanther57 he does tend to fall into yummy mummies head first . Nobody complains but they share explicit details with their daily blowdry (fnarr, fnarr) provider, Botox person, blood face needler and word gets around . . . don't blame him given pointless, unselfaware needy spouse - who will put up with any crap after she buggered up football dream. He ruined his career at Manchester United for her. She swore she'd move to Manchester but didn't so he ended up being driven to Herts every night and returning in time for training. He qualified it by saying he got loads of rest because he could have a kip on the back seat! When Fergie found out he went ballistic leading up to boot throwing incident. Then, to top that she agreed to move her and kid to Spain and hardly made any effort. Treated it like a prolonged posh (see what I did there!) hotel stay for her and parents when all he wanted was for her to agree to more permanent accommodation for their family, he was miserable and found solace in falling head first into yet another Y shaped lady (should be plural...) who found 10 seconds of fame plus further infamy in being able to bring other snouty beings (not VB) to a happy ending.

watching all 3 episodes plus DB’s docu too, I firmly believe that these two are both trauma bonded and locked in a codependency to each other. David is clearly a philanderer who knows he always has an anchor to come home to. Victoria puts up with it because David is her anchor.
in a funny sort of way they are completely compatible because they are both quite thick and don’t want to dig too deep

I started to watch it this evening and made it through the first 20 minutes and had to switch off, so boring. All of the ‘I’ve always loved fashion’ was so dull. She’s very beautiful and stylish but I found it and her very dull (I’ve always found her quite funny on instagram). Also the idea that she designs that whole collection is ridiculous.

Stick her with the likes of Ben de Lisi, Roland Mouret, Vivienne Westwood, Ralph Lauren, Sarah Burton, Julien MacDonald, Jean Paul Gaultier, Karl Lagerfeld, and she looks like the amateur she is.

She only gets away with it because of her name and the fact she gets her 'celeb' friends to wear her 'designs'. She's as much of a designer as I am.

The Beckham brand would dissolve if they got divorced… then what would they do? David does as he likes and Victoria wants to be validated by success,so that she gets some power back.

It’s not healthy but they became famous very young as celebrities and being I the papers… not sure they knew how to change that back in the day and I don’t think it’s an option now. So they do what they have always done and get what they always got.

i would say that remortgaging a house for a child’s dreams, when they are not naturally talented, and the pressure that entails would fuck most people up… even if intentions were good at he time. it’s pure luck that it kinda worked out. It may well have sold Victoria on the work hard and it will all work out ethic permanently, so Not sure she is emotionally capable of actually giving up at anything… fashion, marriage etc. I wish them well, I don’t think it’s an easy a life as they thought it would be

Very good points.

so Not sure she is emotionally capable of actually giving up at anything… fashion, marriage etc

Thats an incredible insight when many of us have been raised to be ‘resilient’ - keep working and flogging those dead horses and not having the wisdom or emotional freedom to change course.

This is very true & may be a downside of telling our kids they can do anything if they word hard enough & put shoulder to wheel. There is no shame in walking away if things don’t work out.

I have been thinking of L’Wren Scott re: VB fashion empire. A tragic & unnecessary end & she apparently couldn’t secure funding needed.

Why did she need to go cap in hand to her HUSBAND to ASK for money .. surely its their money
I did not get that at all

Also wonder how the mel b comment of don't forger where you've come from was said, like in what context and what tone
As I could have been ment to be supportive
Look don't forget who you are, you're a bad ass b
Pop star

Tbh the whole thing felt very fake like an advert
Sad really

I think it very wise that they have separate finances. From the looks of it if VB had been allowed unlimited access to his funds they’d both be bankrupt by now! I suspect also that when they got married they both had their own assets that they wanted to protect. Their money is probably in Limited Companies and they may have a joint account for living expenses but separate for business and savings which to me seems to make total sense. No way would I be sharing all my finances with a spouse or partner. I think if you have a decent income you leave yourself very vulnerable sharing assets with someone with no money sense.

I am fascinated by the repeat comments that her makeups and fragrances are outstanding. Maybe she should focus on that arm of the business!

Yes. They really are very good products. To the daft PP who said something along the lines of “well I bet she doesn’t actually mix the ingredients together in a lab etc” if you actually watch any of her makeup tutorials on tik tok, insta etc, you can absolutely tell that she knows what she is doing and that she understands exactly what she wants in a beauty product. That gives me, as a consumer, confidence in her knowledge and therefore product line.

the clothes line however, not so much. She is clearly a follower of fashion rather than a creator. A fan with a passion for other designers rather than an original thinker herself.

I never actually watched the doc, but on Netflix they’ve just shown a clip. Wow. Her and Harper dancing. I think I could squeeze a dissertation out of it. The references to her appearance angles/filter in front of her young impressionable daughter! And that’s what control freak Victoria made a choice to put in her documentary? It must be awful living in a household with someone with her unaddressed issues. The awkwardness between them, the shit dance and song choice, what a strange moment between mother and daughter to share. Even the composition of the filming jarred somehow and wasn’t particularly well done. Was this meant to be her ‘I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom’ moment? It felt so contrived (of course it was) and the constant hair touching and lip puckering was painful to watch. Her massive top lip! I don’t know how anyone has a conversation with her without laughing in her face, it’s all big and floppy. I’m starting to pity her a bit more than I did, although the sheer arrogance is just unforgivable. Why has she even made a documentary about herself, what are we all meant to be taking away from it?