I'm having the holiday from hell...

[Appalonia]

I'm on a 2 week holiday in America. A male friend booked himself this holiday by himself and then said, if I could just pay my airfare, he'd love it if I came with him just aa friends, as it would be more fun. I thought about it and since I thought we got on pretty well, I'd go for it. However it's turning into an absolute nightmare!

One example he hired a Mustang car for a road trip and then had a meltdown that my big suitcase wouldn't fit in the boot
Without checking if it did, he then threatened to leave me on my own whilst he went on this road trip. , I was so upset I left the hotel room and desperately looked fir a room for myself, but it would have been over £1k. He also keeps throwing it back on my face how much he's paid for his accommodation, even tho, it would have cost the same if I wasn't there.

I feel very vulnerable and annoyed at myself for going on this holiday. He's acting like he's on the holiday by himself, with no consideration for me, like not caring if I need to eat or anything I would like to do. We're in Vegas and all he wants to do is gamble. There's so much more going on, he's like a child constantly having tantrums raising his voice at me telling me I'm ridiculous if I sit down because my back hurts or that I don't feel safe in the car as he's such a nervous driver etc. I'm spending all my time placating him and I'm so upset and fed up.

I don't really know what I want from this post and I feel like it's my own fault for putting myself in such a vulnerable situation but I feel really alone and I can't say anything to him as I know he'll just kick off again...

I’d be doing exactly what @JustMyView13suggested. You’ve done the long haul flight so may as well have some sort of holiday. Honestly I’d be leaving him a short note once you’ve packed your bag and sorted alternative accommodation. No point wasting precious annual leave on this dude. Just go have your own holiday and do what you want to do. Worry about the money later

Sounds like you might not have the budget to throw a lot of money at solving the problem. Why not just have a conversation and agree that you'll both enjoy the rest of the trip more if you make your own plans? He's there for poker and gambling so let him crack on with it. There's plenty you can do in and around Vegas on your own, you don't have to do more than sleep in the hotel room.

Have you contributed to the cost of the accommodation at all? If not, he might have assumed that if you came you would split the costs? Maybe that is why he is being arsey?

If that is not it, then I would seriously consider finding yourself another room on your own. You can definitely get good cheap accommodation in the US. In Vegas, they barely charge you for rooms because they make all their money in the casinos. I think we paid about $60 per night for a room and $5 for all-you-can-eat buffets when we visited. In LA, there are cheap motels and/or youth hostel.

If you really can't afford any other accommodation, just use the room to sleep in and get up and out and do your own thing and let him do his, if you don't fancy doing what he is doing. If he confronts you about it, tell him you did not bargain for all the demands and drama he is bringing to the trip and would rather just chill on your own. However, you do need to stump up your half of the accommodation because otherwise he will feel he owns your time.

Just go out and start doing your own thing - there's plenty to do in Vegas & very safe if you stick to the main strip

He sounds horrid, i suspect what has happened here is a mix up of expectations. He thought "I'm paying for all her accomodation so she has to just accompany me on my holiday", you've gone "it's not costing him anymore and I've paid to get here so we are equal in planning activities and having our say".
It's up to you what you do next, I don't think it'll get better whilst he's coming from that perspective, and you clearly don't enjoy his style of holiday. I'd be tempted to either fly home or see if I can get cheaper accomodation at some point of the road trip, and duck out there until your scheduled flight home.
I would say, unless you've got a really close relationship, going on holiday without splitting everything equally is really risky. I'd also, personally, always try and pay half or compensate in some way. Whilst he is being a dick, and there's no excuse for controlling and manipulative behaviour, he has covered all your accomodation expenses (which will be high in America). It creates inequality, he's clearly annoyed you've not contributed, you feel vulnerable- it's just not a good starting point for everyone to enjoy it. I think with a super close friendship it's maybe manageable, but that's not happening here.

I had a childhood friend who I reconnected with about 5 years ago, the 3rd time I saw him we went to a gig which was a 4 hour drive for me to get to his and another hour & 30 to get to the venue
His behaviour was bizarre, I literally had to placate him and be mindful of what I said he even questioned why I was putting my hair up in a pony tail 😬
Suffice to say I got back to his to get my car and left at 1am in a very remote part of the country, I figured I'd be safer as a lone female driver on a very early morning drive than I would be if I stayed any longer at his property.....
Blocked him on everything
No regrets
Seriously get yourself out of the situation that you're currently in, then block him

Just do your own thing each day. Grab breakfast together then he heads off to casino and you go to pool or whatever. Lv has malls, wet n wild, movies, theatres, cafes, fancy and not so fancy restaurants - there’s loads to see and do. It can be as low or high budget as you choose. Just use a friendly voice and say “don’t fancy a hike today, think I’ll chill by the pool, shall we catch up for dinner?”…. Then when he’s watching the golf sleep with ear plugs and an eye mask and stay asleep! Just reframe it and enjoy the sun and the experience.

You are not a couple, so why are you dictating where he goes to eat or what he watches on tv." i wanted to go out and have a nice meal, he refused so we ended up in a tacky casino eating over priced pizza" its his holiday let him have it, its also your holiday so go and eat in fancy restaurant and go places you want to go, you don't need to do everything as a couple. He obviously chose to go on this holiday because he likes going to casinos...not my thing or yours but its his holiday you're not a married couple so he can do what he wants, as can you!.

Get to the airport. Go home.

Book yourself a flight home - not worth putting yourself through this! Is he using you as a crutch?

Can you get a book and go to the pool? Leave him to it for a bit? If your hotel hasn’t got a pool you can pay day pool entry at big hotels like Caesar’s, MGM and Fontaine Bleau.

Are you able to find anywhere affordable where you can enjoy a solo trip?

I would look at you flight home and see if it can be transfered to an earlier date. I think you often can for a fee. And just get back home. If that isn't possible, is there somewhere else you could get to that's cheaper and you could just spend some time on your own? Would be better than staying with him in Vegas!

A holiday in Vegas is my idea of hell anyway. But i would absolutely assume anyone going is there for gambling and general hedonism. So I'm not sure why you thought it was a good idea to go if you're not into that.

Exactly. You reap what you sow.

Going on holiday with someone you dont know well is never wise. Ive done so and like you I regretted it. Not because I was left on my own while my companion did their "thing". Rather that I wanted some ME time but they wanted to follow me around like a pet lamb and have me do all the organization and translating. Your friend sounds controlling and selfish.

I worked in Uni of Nevada for a year and know Vegas well. It is one of the safest cities in the USA and is heavily policed to ensure the tourist industry. Walking around is quite safe. You just need to keep to the main well lit areas at night. There is such a lot to see and do in Vegas and its not necessary to gamble to fill the time. I am not a gambler (probably just as well) although I do enjoy watching other people do it. I played poker once, lost $20 and that was it.

Please do not sit alone in your hotel room or be afriad to go out. Vegas has quite good public transport for a US city. There is some brilliant shopping and Vegas can be a great base. Book yourself some trips to see Boulder Dam, the Grand Canyon and so on.

I know someone who would end up in this type of situation. I don’t think they are naive, I find them quite entitled and they refuse to take responsibility for themselves. It’s really hard and annoying trying to support someone like that.

As others have said just go and do your own thing, I know vegas seems a bit scary but you can pretty much go anywhere on your own, there are always people about and lots of security everywhere, I’ve done it myself. If you’re not in vegas and moving around all the time I would leave him to it and either fly home if I couldn’t afford my own accommodation or base yourself somewhere and have a solo holiday there, you can take your pick of the sort of holiday you want there as it’s so varied. There’s no point continuing the way you are.

Can’t believe it’s this Op back again

OP, you need some proper RL support, possibly professional.

I think I would let him do his thing and I’d do mine until the end of the holiday. Then I would put the whole sorry mess down to experience. You might find you have a much better time getting to know new people. Definitely don’t go on any road trips as you will be putting yourself in a vulnerable position, you don’t really know this man, you never know anyone until you go o holiday with them and in my experience it’s usually a recipe for disaster

Nit the point of the post but she is LITERALLY in the middle of the desert 😂😂

OP I think you would have better tailored replies if you had included details such as

• how many days you have left... Big difference if its only two days or if you have over a week left.
• where your return flight is leaving from
• Where you are now ie how far away you are from the nearest airport back to UK
• whether you'd contacted your airline ticket people to see if you could transfer it to an earlier flight?
• if you still had to get in a car /road trip to get to departure destination. And therefore could you get alternative transport - train?
• if you have a credit card to pay for change of plans?
• Whether its possible to make your own itinerary and meet the Friend at the end of the day.. so that you can do your own thing and reduce the time spent with him.

Without knowing the above, its difficult to know what advice would apply.

Move out and find somewhere cheaper

Part ways now from this man. Fly home.

Oh, reading a few posts now that this is par for the course for the OP who likely won't post here again. Hope you get some help OP.

Why didn’t you go out to eat on your own then? America is very easy to navigate as a solo traveler.

Get the uber app on your phone and go out and explore while he’s watching the TV all afternoon.