I'm having the holiday from hell...

[Appalonia]

I'm on a 2 week holiday in America. A male friend booked himself this holiday by himself and then said, if I could just pay my airfare, he'd love it if I came with him just aa friends, as it would be more fun. I thought about it and since I thought we got on pretty well, I'd go for it. However it's turning into an absolute nightmare!

One example he hired a Mustang car for a road trip and then had a meltdown that my big suitcase wouldn't fit in the boot
Without checking if it did, he then threatened to leave me on my own whilst he went on this road trip. , I was so upset I left the hotel room and desperately looked fir a room for myself, but it would have been over £1k. He also keeps throwing it back on my face how much he's paid for his accommodation, even tho, it would have cost the same if I wasn't there.

I feel very vulnerable and annoyed at myself for going on this holiday. He's acting like he's on the holiday by himself, with no consideration for me, like not caring if I need to eat or anything I would like to do. We're in Vegas and all he wants to do is gamble. There's so much more going on, he's like a child constantly having tantrums raising his voice at me telling me I'm ridiculous if I sit down because my back hurts or that I don't feel safe in the car as he's such a nervous driver etc. I'm spending all my time placating him and I'm so upset and fed up.

I don't really know what I want from this post and I feel like it's my own fault for putting myself in such a vulnerable situation but I feel really alone and I can't say anything to him as I know he'll just kick off again...

Book a hotel & make the best of what’s left.
Put it on Cc and sort it when you’re home.
Balance transfer into a 0% cc and chime this down to a lesson learned.

I have been in your position more than once as a young person, it won’t get any better at all until you take control of your own time there. Whether it is flying home, going solo or checking out the local areas alone and meeting in the evenings.

Following him around on his schedule isn’t working, so change it.

You need to get out of there. How
long have you got left? Have your own holiday and stick it on cc - there’s nothing else too can really do.

How old are you Op?

OP, I remember you from the thread about clothes for hiking in Death Valley — you said on that thread that your friend was a poker player who was going to LV specifically to gamble, with an added short road trip involving Death Valley and Yosemite. So surely it isn’t a surprise that ‘all he wants to do is gamble’?

Oh goodness…. It’s that OP!!!

God he sounds like an ex of mine - that is exactly how he would behave. I’m so sorry, it’s really stressful.

I don’t think people realise that with someone like that if you announce you’re going to do your own thing for the day or eat in the place of your choosing, they will have a massive screaming tantrum that makes everything worse. Also that if they’re driving and you’re not that also makes it difficult to have any kind of autonomy.

Unfortunately it’s either grit your teeth or try to get the hell out of dodge. I’d check flights - including internal ones in case there’s a way of taking a short flight to another airport in order to fly home for less. You could try and find somewhere else to stay but if you’re on the same flight home that’s going to be awkward.

You are in vegas not the middle of the dessert (praise the lord)

Except, as Eliot Gould once said, that's precisely where you are.

Why aren’t you listening to the advice to bring your flight forward and go home early?

This OP starts lots of threads
Never takes advice
There’s obviously issues

You either find somewhere else to stay and enjoy the rest of the holiday or change your flight and come home.

If this is the same OP with the hiking in death valley trip surely you knew this would be a nightmare?

Unless you're a 10 year old child, you are not stuck. You have agency. Just leave him! Either stay in the US doing your own thing until the flight home, or fly home early. It's so simple.

You are in vegas not the middle of the dessert

I did have to laugh as this comment - Vegas is literally in the middle of a desert. 😝

Take some responsibility for yourself and stop expecting someone else to change for you. You are in America with flights booked home at some point. Decide what you want to do and go and do it. You don't owe this guy anything. Why are you complaining about his choices - make your own decisions!

Personally I wouldn't fly home early. I would go and do something fun, meet new people, see some sights, have an adventure.

This!

I'd get out NOW, give yourself a couple of hours to be irritated at this arse ex - friend and go and find some other women who may want to pal up for a few days and explore California - it's a fab state... Female only hostel for a night?

There's a FB group Host a Sister where women travellers offer /look for accommodation /hosting free of charge. A pal went around the world like this and had a fun and very safe time! Search for California /wherever you are?

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hostasister/?ref=share

Can't you just go off and do your own thing for the rest of the holiday. America surely fairly easy for a unexpectedly solo traveller - it is a developed country, the first language is English, it's easy to book hotels and cabs. Just think about what you want to do, book some accomadation and go off and sort out some tours etc...

It's time to own this situation and turn it into a great holiday. Are you able to hire a car? If so, hire one that suits your budget (and your suitcase lol) and leave Vegas. Motels in the US are plentiful and cheap and the place is perfect for road trips. Someone else suggested a tour bus, great idea of car hire isn't an option. Get yourself gone and go explore! Good luck 🤞

You've been given great advice on here abput leaving and also on what to do if you are staying. Hope it's helping you and you are being pro-active.

First off ignore the incelz. They love threads like this to attack women. Get away from this abusive arsehole. I would use a cc if necessary to not spend one more minute in this tool's company. Make 'never speaking to him again, ever' start now. Do it.

I take it this was meant to be the Death Valley / Yosemite trip. It did sound badly thought out from the start. Hopefully given you mention California you’re now through the mountains so it may be possible to ditch him and head for San Francisco assuming that’s where you fly home from. Stay safe.

Just go and do your own thing. Eat where you want to eat, go explore, if you can afford it book your own hotel room. Don't let him ruin your holiday! Make the most of it whilst you're there, don't go home.

That's the thing. I sometimes forget this as well. You are an adult and can (money permitting) do your own thing. Don't like where you are staying - then book transport to somewhere else and stay there.

It does sound like he invited you to tag along with him, not to have a shared holiday where you both choose activities.
You have had lots of good advice here so you could suck it up and follow him about, go have an adventure on your own till it's time to leave, or go home early. You pick.

You have the internet, you have a credit card. Book a flight... get a taxi... go home.

Two things come to mind.
Do your own thing and ignore him
OR
Change your flight and come home
Simples.

You’d think wouldn’t you!