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Original poster

I'm having the holiday from hell...

230 replies

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 04:06

I'm on a 2 week holiday in America. A male friend booked himself this holiday by himself and then said, if I could just pay my airfare, he'd love it if I came with him just aa friends, as it would be more fun. I thought about it and since I thought we got on pretty well, I'd go for it. However it's turning into an absolute nightmare!

One example he hired a Mustang car for a road trip and then had a meltdown that my big suitcase wouldn't fit in the boot
Without checking if it did, he then threatened to leave me on my own whilst he went on this road trip. , I was so upset I left the hotel room and desperately looked fir a room for myself, but it would have been over £1k. He also keeps throwing it back on my face how much he's paid for his accommodation, even tho, it would have cost the same if I wasn't there.

I feel very vulnerable and annoyed at myself for going on this holiday. He's acting like he's on the holiday by himself, with no consideration for me, like not caring if I need to eat or anything I would like to do. We're in Vegas and all he wants to do is gamble. There's so much more going on, he's like a child constantly having tantrums raising his voice at me telling me I'm ridiculous if I sit down because my back hurts or that I don't feel safe in the car as he's such a nervous driver etc. I'm spending all my time placating him and I'm so upset and fed up.

I don't really know what I want from this post and I feel like it's my own fault for putting myself in such a vulnerable situation but I feel really alone and I can't say anything to him as I know he'll just kick off again...

OP posts:
LunaTheCat · 26/09/2025 04:18

Oh I am so sorry. He sounds abussive. ? Can you leave and fly home. I would not stay a moment longer. Can you contact friend /relative at home and ask them to help book airfare?

AlorsTimeForWine · 26/09/2025 04:21

First a deep breath (or 10) and virtual hug.
It can leave you feeling vulnerable being "alone" abroad.
Good news is its America so you speak the language and you are not in a remote location.

You are in vegas not the middle of the dessert (praise the lord)

And so you have options... even if you cant see them...yet! (Thanks meghan 😅)

Do NOT get back in the car.
Do not go somewhere remote.
Do not get stuck in sunk cost fallacy mindset

I can see round trip flights for £500 or less ( these are often cheaper than one way) or
You may also be able to change your existing flight ticket. Call and check.
I would be looking at a flight home and cutting my losses (this is just an expensive lesson nothing more...)

Or looking at thrifty options to stay in lasvegas and do your own solo trip. You might be able to negotiate discount for taking dead rooms if occupancy is low.

I would not continue this holiday (although it is an option its a bad one IMO) and I would start giving zero fucls about him veing annoyed or whatever. Say you want a day solo - go somewhere with coffee and WiFi and make a plan

Work out your best option for you.
Then once you know- Dont discuss it with him, tell him what's happening.

whimsicallyprickly · 26/09/2025 04:25

Absolutely go home now. You and this man are not holiday compatible

Write it up as an experience which you won't repeat

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
HappydaysArehere · 26/09/2025 04:26

Sorry about your situation. You can’t blame yourself. You described him as a friend and as such you would believe him and the holiday sounded a good idea. How would you know that the front he showed you as a friend wasn’t maintained in private. Just hope you can find another room which is cheaper and you can enjoy the rest of the two weeks.

Original poster
Appalonia · 26/09/2025 04:27

He did apologise so we did the roadtrip, but things have not got better. Like tonight I wanted to go out and have a nice meal. He refused and so we ended up at a tacky casino in a little town in California eating overpriced pizza. And earlier he announced he's going to start watching the Ryder Cup at 4am! I'm just bloody stuck. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that I know I am never going to speak to him ever again after this.

OP posts:
AlorsTimeForWine · 26/09/2025 04:32

Are you in california now not las vegas?

If california...
Will you get to LA? If so you can get a lyft/uber to get you to LAX airport.... Or if ypu go north SF? Then you can do san fran airport? Plan ahead and get out.

What day no. of the trip is it?

limegreenheart · 26/09/2025 04:33

I'm so sorry. Trust your instincts; if you feel like you're in danger, get out.

Since you booked your own ticket, first thing I would do is see if you can change the return - start by pulling up your reservation on the airline's or booking agent's website and see if there are any options to change; if not you may have to call them.

If you need a place to stay in the meantime, try Bungalows Hostel on Las Vegas Boulevard South - you can usually get a last minute bed in a 6 person dorm (can book an all women room if you prefer) for about $30 a night including all the fees (note that in LV you'll see rooms even in hotels with a cheapish base price but they'll triple in price when you pay all taxes and fees - this one's still cheap and decent/pleasant/safe, centrally located). 702/380-6902; www.bungalowshostel.com.

MidnightScroller · 26/09/2025 04:33

There’s usually tour operators offering minibus trips around tourist destinations like California, Vegas etc - you could book on one of those which would be safe as a solo traveller and you’d have a guide and make friends on the bus. Might as well have some fun while you’re out there and see the place?

MidnightScroller · 26/09/2025 04:35

Or check into a youth hostel which is always full of solo/single travellers and often have single bedrooms just shared kitchen / lounge spaces so you’d meet others too? Make the most of the adventure and ditch the dickhead!!

Zanatdy · 26/09/2025 05:03

Can you fly home? How long do you have left. Just because he has paid more does not mean he calls all the shots. Not the behaviour of a real friend.

Ringley · 26/09/2025 05:30

That sounds grim. I vowed a while back to never go on holiday with friends, as I like being on my agenda on my holiday. It sounds like he's the same.

Depending on your budget, I'd either fly home now or say you're going your own way. Book your own hotel rooms. Find your own transport. Either way, stop paying so much money for something you're not enjoying.

BirdShedRevisited · 26/09/2025 05:50

Never go on holiday with friends. I still get flashbacks to 1985 when I smell lemon washing up liquid!

Pices · 26/09/2025 05:52

Is this not the same trip where you were planning to hike Death Valley without any experience or kit? This trip was utterly doomed from the start. Just go home. Get therapy to examine your lack of ability to see 🚩 waving about.

Mymanyellow · 26/09/2025 06:02

BirdShedRevisited · 26/09/2025 05:50

Never go on holiday with friends. I still get flashbacks to 1985 when I smell lemon washing up liquid!

You can’t leave it there.

Shoxfordian · 26/09/2025 06:06

It sounds like you need to book another hotel or a youth hostel and take control of your own holiday as it's not working with him

whimsicallyprickly · 26/09/2025 06:10

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 04:27

He did apologise so we did the roadtrip, but things have not got better. Like tonight I wanted to go out and have a nice meal. He refused and so we ended up at a tacky casino in a little town in California eating overpriced pizza. And earlier he announced he's going to start watching the Ryder Cup at 4am! I'm just bloody stuck. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that I know I am never going to speak to him ever again after this.

So.....you're not going home?

Londog · 26/09/2025 06:12

Get the hell home ✈️
Make an excuse and get out of this narcissistic situation asap . Please .

Plumedenom · 26/09/2025 06:13

All these people saying go home....don't do that! That's really extreme! Just make your own plans and say "I'll see you tonight". Let him bitch abiti the accomodation. He was the one that suggested it.

franke · 26/09/2025 06:14

whimsicallyprickly · 26/09/2025 06:10

So.....you're not going home?

Show quote history

Also, why didn't you just go for a nice meal on your own? Why do you end up doing just what he wants to do?

Whaleandsnail6 · 26/09/2025 06:24

Can you not do your own thing? So tell him that you don't fancy eating at x diner so you will catch up with him later?

If he then complains that he paid for the trip, then I would pay for an early flight home.

Its not worth being stuck 24/7 with someone who doesn't actually sound very nice to you.

Not being in each others pockets may help cope with him for the remainder of the trip and I wouldn't worry about insulting him as I doubt you want to remain friends with him once home

If you can't do things separately, then definitely book an early flight home

GenuineWorkOfFart · 26/09/2025 06:26

Are you the "stylish clothes for hiking in Death Valley" poster? In which case bloody hell, who could possibly have foreseen that this holiday would turn out to be a disaster?!

Just go home. Cut your losses and leave. He sounds like a prick and I wouldn't spend another day with him.

CheeseWisely · 26/09/2025 06:28

Aah I was hoping we’d get an update after your previous thread (if only to check you actually survived). You’ve gone to Vegas with a poker player and are shocked he’s there for the casinos?

Why don't you just get out and do your own thing and leave him to it?

Itwasallyellow2 · 26/09/2025 06:30

Never go on any trip without knowing you can get yourself out of there. That means making sure you can access your ticket, funds and passport and feel confident taking transport by yourself to the nearest airport and making your own arrangements to either go home or spend the holiday by yourself.

My guess is that maybe you are going along with his plans because you don’t feel confident going it alone? If so, then all you can do is learn from this experience. I’m sorry you are having a rubbish time. He sounds dreadful. How well did you know him
before you agreed this holiday?

Bobbie12345678 · 26/09/2025 06:34

Everyone is just sympathising with you and calling him awful.
They might be right, but….. did you ever discuss how the trip was going to work? It sounds like he wants to gamble and eat when/ where he wants. Sounds fair enough to me. He booked the trip.
He invited you and told you it would be free accomodation. Did he ever say that you would be day to day travel companions? Maybe he thought you would get on with your own plans by yourself and just meet up on occasions. And now he finds you making demands on him all the time and complaining. It would be interesting to hear his side of how the trip is going.
Either go home, or pull up your big girl pants and start planning your own days and meals out. You are on a cool trip and it could be amazing.

User987439 · 26/09/2025 06:37

Is he a purely platonic friend, a situationship, a potential boyfriend or what kind of connection do you actually have? It seems very bizarre to do an overseas 2-person trip, sharing rooms etc, with a male friend regardless of how well you know each other. It's also highly unusual for platonic friends to display abusive behaviour.

As another PP said, how well did you know each other beforehand? The premise of the holiday is also very strange. It sounds like he desperately wanted someone to come along with everything being paid for as the hook. Is he a weirdo where other friends rejected the offer knowing how he is, or did he specifically target you for the trip?