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Original poster

I'm having the holiday from hell...

230 replies

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 04:06

I'm on a 2 week holiday in America. A male friend booked himself this holiday by himself and then said, if I could just pay my airfare, he'd love it if I came with him just aa friends, as it would be more fun. I thought about it and since I thought we got on pretty well, I'd go for it. However it's turning into an absolute nightmare!

One example he hired a Mustang car for a road trip and then had a meltdown that my big suitcase wouldn't fit in the boot
Without checking if it did, he then threatened to leave me on my own whilst he went on this road trip. , I was so upset I left the hotel room and desperately looked fir a room for myself, but it would have been over £1k. He also keeps throwing it back on my face how much he's paid for his accommodation, even tho, it would have cost the same if I wasn't there.

I feel very vulnerable and annoyed at myself for going on this holiday. He's acting like he's on the holiday by himself, with no consideration for me, like not caring if I need to eat or anything I would like to do. We're in Vegas and all he wants to do is gamble. There's so much more going on, he's like a child constantly having tantrums raising his voice at me telling me I'm ridiculous if I sit down because my back hurts or that I don't feel safe in the car as he's such a nervous driver etc. I'm spending all my time placating him and I'm so upset and fed up.

I don't really know what I want from this post and I feel like it's my own fault for putting myself in such a vulnerable situation but I feel really alone and I can't say anything to him as I know he'll just kick off again...

OP posts:
Clangershome · 27/09/2025 20:03

Leave and get an earlier flight home or go your own until your flight. Sounds like a very odd situation. Is he an odd person? Do you get an odd vibe? If you don’t get on just go on your own. It’s totally fine and you might have a really nice holiday on your own. I love America, would be happy on my own there. Take care x

Wadadli · 27/09/2025 20:11

HygerTyger · 26/09/2025 19:24

Please don't go on the Death Valley hike with him! That would be utter madness

Unless you trip him up - accidentally, of course! 😉

Wadadli · 27/09/2025 20:12

Slipperhead · 27/09/2025 19:49

I know someone who went on holiday with a newish friend as they both unexpectedly had time off at the same time, who turned out to be a nightmare.
They were sitting down to eat at a little restaurant near their hotel and she got up and said excuse me I need the loo.

She had had enough of her complaints, bitchiness, rudeness and went back to the hotel, grabbed her bags, cleared out her stuff, and left.

She booked into another hotel 30 minutes away, blocked her, and enjoyed the peace for the remaining 4 days.

The airline were very understanding and she was sat at the other end of the plane flying back and avoided her. Never spoke to her again.

Show quote history

Have you posted about this before? I’d have done the same as your friend

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Relationship problems
Allthatshines1992 · 27/09/2025 20:32

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 04:06

I'm on a 2 week holiday in America. A male friend booked himself this holiday by himself and then said, if I could just pay my airfare, he'd love it if I came with him just aa friends, as it would be more fun. I thought about it and since I thought we got on pretty well, I'd go for it. However it's turning into an absolute nightmare!

One example he hired a Mustang car for a road trip and then had a meltdown that my big suitcase wouldn't fit in the boot
Without checking if it did, he then threatened to leave me on my own whilst he went on this road trip. , I was so upset I left the hotel room and desperately looked fir a room for myself, but it would have been over £1k. He also keeps throwing it back on my face how much he's paid for his accommodation, even tho, it would have cost the same if I wasn't there.

I feel very vulnerable and annoyed at myself for going on this holiday. He's acting like he's on the holiday by himself, with no consideration for me, like not caring if I need to eat or anything I would like to do. We're in Vegas and all he wants to do is gamble. There's so much more going on, he's like a child constantly having tantrums raising his voice at me telling me I'm ridiculous if I sit down because my back hurts or that I don't feel safe in the car as he's such a nervous driver etc. I'm spending all my time placating him and I'm so upset and fed up.

I don't really know what I want from this post and I feel like it's my own fault for putting myself in such a vulnerable situation but I feel really alone and I can't say anything to him as I know he'll just kick off again...

Right. His behaviour is unacceptable. Can you arrange to not have to sit by him on your way back with the airline company? It's a lot of money to spend to go there and your 'friend' has turned out to be an arse. You should still be able to enjoy your holiday without being trapped with him.

SkaneTos · 27/09/2025 20:33

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 19:19

Quick update: I had a massive meltdown in the middle of the night and told him exactly what I thought of his behaviour! This morning he's been nice as pie, saying he's thought about what I said, admitted he'd been a bit ' grumpy ', and actually asked ne what I wanted to do today. He'd planned on doing a 6 hour drive and I said I wasn't going to do it and he accepted it. He's got me coffee unasked for and promised that we would get on from now.. We shall see...

I've booked myself a massage for later which should help my stress levels!

Thanks for all the replies, especially those who shared their own experiences of going away with friends. And yes, in hindsight this trip was a risk, but I'm single and most pp I know aren't free to go away as they go away with their families. In fact this year I went to Thailand for 6 weeks on my own which was fine, but I just thought it would be nice to go away with someone else for a change.

Thank You for the update, OP!

I hope the rest of the trip will be OK.
Take care of yourself!

Allthatshines1992 · 27/09/2025 20:37

Appalonia · 26/09/2025 19:19

Quick update: I had a massive meltdown in the middle of the night and told him exactly what I thought of his behaviour! This morning he's been nice as pie, saying he's thought about what I said, admitted he'd been a bit ' grumpy ', and actually asked ne what I wanted to do today. He'd planned on doing a 6 hour drive and I said I wasn't going to do it and he accepted it. He's got me coffee unasked for and promised that we would get on from now.. We shall see...

I've booked myself a massage for later which should help my stress levels!

Thanks for all the replies, especially those who shared their own experiences of going away with friends. And yes, in hindsight this trip was a risk, but I'm single and most pp I know aren't free to go away as they go away with their families. In fact this year I went to Thailand for 6 weeks on my own which was fine, but I just thought it would be nice to go away with someone else for a change.

How long will his nice-guy act last I wonder? I'd either go and stay elsewhere at this point or rebook the ticket to have an earlier flight back.

Caroparo52 · 27/09/2025 21:15

Take yourself out to the Grand Canyon. Its the most spectacular natural thing you can ever see. Turn this unpleasant experience with dickhead into the best thing you ever did. Ever. I've been 3 times. Its a 2 hour drive away.

EarthSight · 27/09/2025 21:30

I have a feeling you'll be back on this thread.

Book yourself a flight home now. You're abroad, alone with a man you clearly don’t know that well.

If you have a chance to pack your bags without him being there, do it, and text him once you are behind security at the airport.

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 27/09/2025 21:39

Lainie · 27/09/2025 18:36

does his name begin with a J ? he sounds like my ex :o

Unusual name,I knew a Lainie from years ago from Edinburgh?

Charlize43 · 27/09/2025 21:42

Oh dear this is very triggering.

It reminds me of a holiday to NYC with a friend, who turned out to be such high maintenance. It took her ages to get ready in the mornings as she kept changing her outfits and well as spending close to two hours to 'get her face on'. She wore ridiculously high heels (the type you might wear to be seated at a cocktail party) and then would complain how much her feet hurt when we had walked less than a km. No trainers, just six pairs of towering glitzy heels. She would constantly derail sightseeing plans by popping into clothes shops and then trying stuff on although she bought absolutely nothing, just wanted to see what outfits looked like on her. She ruined all our nice meals out by obsessing and vocalising about the calories in everything, even the drinks... She'd order Pina Coladas and then would whine that she should be drinking a Martini as it would have less calories, so she couldn't even enjoy her cocktail. It would take her at least an hour to get ready for bed as she had a 'night routine.'

It was a fucking nightmare! We didn't see 1/10th of the things we had agreed to see. She was an ex work colleague, who'd been a fantastic friend at work, but was completely another person on holiday.

I hate women like this. I do my face in less than 10 mins and would much rather wear comfortable shoes and clothes, than look like am I about to step into a Vogue photo shoot.

During a conversation, I remember her saying to me, 'Charlize, you don't understand how much men hate women.' and I remember thinking. 'It's not just men!'

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 27/09/2025 21:44

Lainey if you were into Northern soul then I know you.
I often wondered how you got on.
Pm if you're the one and same if you wish.
If not hope all is well with you 😊 🙏

Tresamour · 27/09/2025 22:08

BirdShedRevisited · 26/09/2025 05:50

Never go on holiday with friends. I still get flashbacks to 1985 when I smell lemon washing up liquid!

I'm intrigued.😄

V12red · 28/09/2025 05:05

You’re in California? From Vegas? It’s about a 5 hour drive there so this seems odd if you’re not getting on as you say you are 🤔

JuniperKeats · 28/09/2025 06:30

Max out your credit card and fly home. Dont bother explaining or telling him. Just leave

rookiemere · 28/09/2025 07:08

Raymondsam · 26/09/2025 22:01

Rooms in Vegas for 50 quid a night on Airbnb if you need

Whereas a massage in Vegas likely to cost around £150 once you add in tax and tip. I know which option would help me sleep better at night!

connie26 · 28/09/2025 08:15

Plumedenom · 26/09/2025 06:13

All these people saying go home....don't do that! That's really extreme! Just make your own plans and say "I'll see you tonight". Let him bitch abiti the accomodation. He was the one that suggested it.

I agree. Don't go home! Tell him you're just going to relax and do your own thing and leave him to it. How long have you got left there?

mumof5five · 28/09/2025 09:41

You don't really know a person unless you live with them, travel with them or do business with them

MyMiniMetro · 28/09/2025 12:19

To be fair you both sound as bad as each other. If you are friends on a trip you don’t have to do everything together not even eat together. He asked you to tag-along not share the holiday. If he wants to eat pizza at a casino, that’s the holiday he wants. If you don’t want pizza in casinos then go somewhere else. The issue comes if you have made yourself reliant on him for transport. In big cities it’s okay you can do your own thing without him, but if you are anywhere else in the US you’ll need a car so you become reliant on him. If he’s temperamental that’s worrying. Did you not discuss the holiday plans before getting there?

Was he expecting a friends with benefits arrangement by any chance? Because that might explain his ‘off’ behaviour. If that was his plan then you are not out the woods, he could just be ‘trying again’ by being nice for a while. Go home or grow up and stop with the ‘main character’ syndrome.

3girlsmyworld · 28/09/2025 16:24

Last part of that was unnecessary

Blablibladirladada · 28/09/2025 19:10

Gosh,
change your flight and come back!

It is never a friend who asks you to put yourself in a place where you need them so much. No friend. Not one person whom merely cares for you would do that.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 28/09/2025 20:04

I had a holiday from hell with a so called friend who threw tantrums all the time. And another one with a friend who has a food allergy. I recognise the allergy is serious but they were incredibly focused on the allergy and every trip to a restaurant was like a major trauma.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 28/09/2025 20:05

Frankly, I'm surprised OP hasn't booked a flight home.

Poppyfie1ds · 28/09/2025 20:24

3girlsmyworld · 28/09/2025 16:24

Last part of that was unnecessary

Was it? There does seem to be some childish main character syndrome by the OP. Why would you expect a friend to act like you are holidaying as a couple and expect that friend to prioritise your interests? Why did OP think the friend was going to Vegas if not to gamble? And why would you moan on the internet but not take any action to remove yourself from the situation? All really odd.

HygerTyger · 14/10/2025 20:25

How did you get on @Appalonia ? I find myself thinking of you and how you are.

ThisGoatStandsFirmBringItOnVipers · 20/02/2026 16:01

Exactly!

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