Why are three year olds so mortifying!?

[HairsprayBabe]

Just got a call from nursery - a wellness check - DD told her key worker that "mummy is very sick from drinking too much wine" 🙃

Key worker saw me at drop off and I was clearly not drunk or hungover - she just had to check and we laughed about it.

To be clear - I drink a few times a year, Christmas, weddings ect. and never to excess, 3 max 4 drinks. My children have never seen me drunk or throwing up hungover. I haven't even had a hangover since way before I had kids.

Me and DH and extended family have openly joked about pre-kids, uni life, hen-dos, weddings etc that have included "being sick from too much wine" - not just me! Which I know is where it has likely come from but I am SO embarrassed, really looking forwards to pick up this afternoon 😬maybe I do need a wine!

Make me feel better with the lovely things your little darlings have said about you!

I told my teacher that when we went to stay with dad, our mum used to play with the penis next door (he was a pianist)

Once I was in a changing room and I overheard a little girl say loudly “Mummy, I really love your red panties!”

I did exactly that to my mum when I was at school. We had to write our “News” in our jotter on Mondays, and I said mummy had gone to a party and came home and was sick on the stairs. Both those things happened but were not related. She’d been at a Tupperware party on Friday and was pregnant and didn’t make it up to the bathroom after shopping on the Saturday!

Four year old told his dad yesterday ‘You look fat and old today’ 😂 Husband was not impressed 😂

@Cecilly that reminds me I was in a public loo with DD about 6 months ago and she loudly pronounced - "mummy you have pooed your nappy" - it was a sanitary pad, and I had not pooed in it 😬

Mine told the nursery teachers I was pregnant.

I walked in for pick up and all the nursery staff beamed at me while looking meaningfully at my stomach.

They were all quite put out when I denied it. 😆

I have no idea why they took the word of a 2 year old as gospel.

Last year we booked a holiday and all our 'spare money' was earmarked for spending money. My 4 year old asked me to buy him a toy in the shop. Rather than explain to him that we were saving for the holiday i flippantly said 'sorry mate, mummy doesn't have any money'. A couple of days later I found out that he had announced to his teacher and his whole class that he couldn't go on the school trip because mummy and daddy are too poor and have no money. He of course was going on the trip but I was mortified.

When our smallest was about 4 we walked into an outdoor museum exhibit and he started pointing and saying what he saw so plate, rug, cross then mortifyingly he said “big fat man” while pointing at the rather stocky museum staff.

Some of these are hilarious.
One of my close friends is a vicar, and my daughter once ran right up to her before church and shouted, 'morning Rev Rachel, Mummy says you like wine'.
I had said it - it's true hahahaha

I remember my middle son in Tesco once saying the booze aisle was “Mummy’s wine aisle” or something to that effect. I hate wine anyway, but also hadn’t drank apart from maybe once a year for years at that point so I have no idea why he made that comment,

same child one day asked me “mummy, why is your bum so ginormous?”

Arent kids great? 😂

Last week my 3 year old told her key worker that ‘mummy and daddy have naked cuddles in front of her all the time’. Key worker had to call me to make sure we weren’t having sex in front of her. We definitely aren’t, just to clarify - she was referring to when I walked in the room in a new beige coloured gym outfit and DH said ‘I thought you were naked for a second’, and then we had a quick cuddle before I left the house!

@blankcanvas3 I got a call from nursery not long after DS started - "mummy and daddy have naked cuddles with the baby" He had seen us doing skin to skin with DD after she was born 😅

GOD knows what they think happens in this house, it's like the last days of rome.

DS once went around a Slimming World class I was attending saying to the other attendees "You're fat", "You're not fat" , "You're very very fat " as his 4 year old mind deemed appropriate.

@MrsMoastyToasty I would unfortunately immediately die after that

I said I was raped by a parent when I was 12. At that age I HONESTLY thought ‘rape’ meant ‘chastise harshly’ and not the meaning it actually does have ..

Every post on here is very funny, but this one has made me laugh so much my eyes watered!

I was in a packed supermarket with my just turned 3 year old on Christmas eve, and he started saying very firmly and loudly, 'mummy, I want tea and rum, give me tea and rum', and every time I tried to change the subject, he just repeated it louder and louder. I was getting the side-eye and snickering from the (very many) other shoppers in our aisle, who obviously thought this was my preferred method for getting him to sleep. I had no idea at all where this had come from. It was only when my daughter reminded me later of the lyrics to her favourite song 'the Wellerman', which include 'soon may the Wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum...', that I finally twigged.

I used to take my son into the toilet cubicle with me when he was little. He was very surprised when he saw my sanitary towel and shouted for help as I had cut myself!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😂

Apparently I once asked DM VERY loudly in a shop ( I think) “ Mummy, why is that lady so fat?”

So funny !!

Took DS swimming and realised when we got there that there were school lessons going on too. We're in the changing room when he says in the loudest voice "Mummy, your nipples are MASSIVE!"

As I leave the changing room a whole class of 8 year olds are staring at me. They must have been sorely disappointed in my complete lack of boobs 😂

Just come back from a holiday in France when I had to go to a bank to do one thing or another, I can't remember but it required going to a kiosk - and I took my then 4yo.

There was a chap, barely out of his teens, who was a first class mumbler and between that and the perspex I couldn't make out a thing he was saying. There was a lot of, "Pardon" and "Sorry, could you repeat that?" from my end when my son pipes up with a lightbulb moment and with an impossibly loud voice, "Ooooooh, you're speaking French!!! Mam, he's speaking French...you have to speak French!!'. 🫣

My dc went to a school that was very middle class (I'm as working class as they come) and lentil weaving but sharp elbowed parents

The child in question was aged about 6/7 at the time

The teacher beckoned me over one day and asked 'who nanna x is?'

'Y's nan on his dad's side'

'Is she in prison?'

'Er not that I know of'

'Who's A?'

'Nanna x's boyfriend'

'Is he in prison?'

'Not that I know of'

We finally got to the bottom of it-nanna x had moved house a few weeks earlier and he'd heard his father mention it was much close to the local prison

Cloth ears had heard this and gone to school,bragging that his nan and her boyfriend where living in a prison!

My 4 year old DD once loudly said to quite a frail and thin old lady on a train “hello skeleton face”. I genuinely didn’t know where to look

Not in this country but..I got pulled aside by the kindergarten teacher because 3yo DS had proudly told his class that:

"Mom shoots coyotes out of the window when she is breastfeeding DD".

We owned a gun but I never used it. And certainly not when breastfeeding!

Just absolutely cackled at this