Why are three year olds so mortifying!?

[HairsprayBabe]

Just got a call from nursery - a wellness check - DD told her key worker that "mummy is very sick from drinking too much wine" 🙃

Key worker saw me at drop off and I was clearly not drunk or hungover - she just had to check and we laughed about it.

To be clear - I drink a few times a year, Christmas, weddings ect. and never to excess, 3 max 4 drinks. My children have never seen me drunk or throwing up hungover. I haven't even had a hangover since way before I had kids.

Me and DH and extended family have openly joked about pre-kids, uni life, hen-dos, weddings etc that have included "being sick from too much wine" - not just me! Which I know is where it has likely come from but I am SO embarrassed, really looking forwards to pick up this afternoon 😬maybe I do need a wine!

Make me feel better with the lovely things your little darlings have said about you!

At that age my DS used to shout WHY HAVENT YOU PAID FOR THOSE THINGS MUMMY every time we left a shop. Obviously we’d paid.

😆😆😆😆😆🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

I was just out of the shower in a towel and DS said to me in a cute and adoring tone, "Mummy, you're so..."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Mummy, you're so... hairy."

My brother works in a prison.
DS in nursery happily told the key workers that uncle wasn’t coming today as he’s in prison.
Technically correct. Clarification was needed 😂

These have me cackling 😂

DS aged 3 announced ‘the white lady is good’ (pointing to a random, white stranger) on a packed train, and then ‘I don’t like the black one - she’s bad’ also pointing to a different woman). Took far too much delicate discussion about race/skin tone before I realised he was, in fact, talking about the colours of their coats and if he liked the coat styles or not 🫠

GOD knows what they think happens in this house, it's like the last days of rome.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

a very dark skinned delivery driver was very gracious when my DD said oh a chocolate man. And she saw the new neighbour who was in early 50s and not that old who’s that grandpa? Both mortifying.

I took ds who was 2.5 at the time into a public toilet not long after potty training. A woman came in and used the next cubicle and my son immediately was like "oooh mummy is that lady doing a stinky poo, do you think we'll hear it plop?" Very loudly. And then he gave her a clap when she came out of the cubicle and told her well done. I was so shamed.

My 4yo came in to use the loo while I was in the shower the other day, looked at me and said "mummy you've got a big willy."

Now pretty self conscious about the state of my downstairs region 😒

In the toilets in John Lewis -my toddler ( very loudly) said “are you doing a poo mummy?” I whisper yes he shouts “is it a very big poo?” I wanted to die! The amount of people queuing! Mortifying - but luckily long enough ago that I have forgotten the shame - he was very into discussing his poos at that stage as far as I remember

This thread is the very reason we need the laughing emoji back.

@Lavender14 It sounds like he has lovely manners, if that helps ease some of the mortification.

I was a bridesmaid aged 5 and, during a meaningful part of the ceremony, roared 'WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE OUR EATS?!'

Really fat woman walking towards us and little DD says: "Mummy, why has that lady got no knees?"

That has really tickled me, I am just imagining the scene your 3yo DS painted.😂

Good friend’s 3 year old told nursery that daddy pushed her out of the window.

He hadn’t. Obviously.

I was picking DS up from nursery and I had to walk across the art/activity room to get to get to his room. They had stable type half doors so DS was looking over the door waiting for me. As soon as he saw me he started shouting "Mummy, you've forgotten your trousers. Mummy, where are your trousers, you're not wearing any trousers."

I walked into the room and there were several mums looking my way and one modest dad very obviously not looking my way. I was wearing a skirt, a full skirt with below the knee coverage.

I was getting changed in a swimming pool changing room with my kids. DS (then about 3) was incapable of speaking quietly and shouted out "mummy, why have you got a beard between your legs?"!!

We took a very long time to leave the changing room!!

... Oh, and my other DS once announced at play group that we had a "black weirdo" in our home.

It was, in fact, a false widow spider. We'd discussed it the day before, and how they were called that because they looked live black widow spiders!

These are hilarious 🤣 I remember my son saying to me after id just taken him into the toilet stall with me he was also about three "mummy do you want me to help you wipe ur winkey too" after id told him to wipe his 🤭 the woman in the next stall burst into laughter. More recently I've had my mummy is boring all she does is drink tea and watch movies. I wish that was the case 🤣

Ds1 told nursery I was pregnant.

They congratulated me when I picked him
up and were surprised when I said I wasn’t.

On being questioned Ds1 said “well you’re fat enough to look pregnant”

My son told his teacher that his Dad puts aftershave on his balls to make Mummy happy , oh and that Dad has lion print pants.
Also was called in because apparently our son was helping Daddy with his wine making kit and helping to fill demi John's at the weekend.
In the doctors he told the whole waiting room that mummy was in the doctors because I had a poo stuck. ( Constipation).

I told my 3yr old that I was ‘pooped’, as in tired, she took great pleasure in telling nursery the next morning when I dropped her off that mummy had pooed herself.

Another one is everytime I go to a public toilet with her, she asks VERY loudly whilst we’re in the cubicle if I’m having a poo?

When ds was just turned 2 I was out with him in his pushchair when it started raining heavily. I pushed him into the nearest shop, which happened to be a rather chi chi wine shop. Ds caught sight of a wine bottle with a picture of a chicken on, and started shouting “Cock! Cock!”

I tried to distract him, but he wouldn’t shut up, shouting it repeatedly, very pleased with himself. I pushed him out of there and back out into the rain as fast as I could.

He had barely any words at the stage; literally Mama, Dadda, and then suddenly cock. God knows where he’d got it from, as chicken and hen are more commonly used in picture books, and he certainly hadn’t heard it from me. It was really random.

I was heavily pregnant & had my 3 year old nephew at the shops with me, he very loudly stopped and pointed at someone and said “look that lady must have lots of babies in her tummy” she was not pregnant….

When my DS was 3 he asked a little girl at nursery “to bring him a beer with his snack” mortified when the nursery told me