Why are three year olds so mortifying!?

[HairsprayBabe]

Just got a call from nursery - a wellness check - DD told her key worker that "mummy is very sick from drinking too much wine" 🙃

Key worker saw me at drop off and I was clearly not drunk or hungover - she just had to check and we laughed about it.

To be clear - I drink a few times a year, Christmas, weddings ect. and never to excess, 3 max 4 drinks. My children have never seen me drunk or throwing up hungover. I haven't even had a hangover since way before I had kids.

Me and DH and extended family have openly joked about pre-kids, uni life, hen-dos, weddings etc that have included "being sick from too much wine" - not just me! Which I know is where it has likely come from but I am SO embarrassed, really looking forwards to pick up this afternoon 😬maybe I do need a wine!

Make me feel better with the lovely things your little darlings have said about you!

My DS told his nursery worker that “mummy does poos in the garden”. Errr no I don’t!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣👏

My son told everyone his dad was a fireman and they’d arranged for him to do a talk at nursery to the children in his fireman’s uniform. He’s not, he’s an accountant !!!

DS3 once asked me, in a very loud voice as we were walking out of the corner shop - why is that man so FAT mummy?

Mortified, I turned around saying “don’t say that, it’s rude!” and saw a very large young man, laughing - who said “don’t worry, I am fat - but my girlfriend is really fit, so it’s all good!”

😊

When I was age 3 my parents were having a dinner party for three other couples. One of the couples was a very senior boss from my father’s law firm. Before anyone could stop me ,I had got out of bed, walked into the room , and told the guests
”If you have eaten all your pudding up it’s time for you to leave in case Mr Hughes drinks all the brandy!”
Cue a ghastly silence ……

@ReceiveIt
'An client in her 70s was telling us about her mum who is 98 and ds pipes up 'Ooh, your mum must be dead by now'

Many years ago when I worked in hospitals and elderly lady (around 80) was telling us how her mum was coming to see her at visiting time and the food her mum was going to bring etc.
Staff were chatting along and agreeing with her, she had no obvious cognitive impairment and even if not true and related to dementia, it would only upset her to challenge her belief.
My very brash colleague wrongly assumed she was confused and abruptly told her her mum wasn't coming to see her, at her age her mum is surely dead. The lady understandably got very distressed and was protesting her mum couldn't be dead she'd just seen her a few days ago.
Sure enough come visiting time in toddles her little 100-ish year old mother with a bag of goodies. Colleague got a deserved bollocking and extra training.

I remember being on a particularly hairy flight, with lots of turbulence and when the plane was one of those smaller ones with propellers… Everyone was strapped in and silent, white knuckles gripping armrests etc. My sibling, then about 3, clearly and calmly, with the voice projection of the finest and well-trained West End actor, went “And now we are going to die.” In the following seconds I thought my mum was going to, anyway.

My son told his best friend that I wear nappies (sanitary pads 🤪) - best friend’s mum haves me a heads up, mortifying! But we did laugh about it.

Oh, I embarrassed my Mum no end. I was probably 5-6 and we were in a small shop, Mum had been muttering to herself the things she needed to buy. I ran to a box of tampons, picked them up and shouted very loudly 'Mummy here's some of these for your botty'!! There was a queue of elderly people waiting to collect their pension at the post office! Mum just put back the tampons and walk us both out!

We went out for afternoon tea, to a hotel and e took our then 2 year old son. We were sat in this huge conservatory, with other people having the same. My son was sat in his highchair, busy munching a sandwich, when he did the most almighty fart. It was so loud, it echoed all around this conservatory!!! Everyone went quiet and stared at us!!!! My son, sees all these people staring, and just waves at them!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Yes, we died with embarrassment, but it was hilarious!!

Your son played it off with style!

So many from my daughter

Potty trained at just over 2 but she went through a phase of refusing to poo on the potty, as it was around Christmas time I ended up bribing her with chocolate coins for a little while. One day I nipped to the loo in a busy cafe whilst DD stayed with DH. As I walked back to the table she yelled at the top of her very loud voice ‘have you had a poo mummy? You need a chocolate coin?’

At 3, telling a friend and friend’s mum we were going to a particular event (literally a £3 at the community centre thing) and asked if they were going. When the mum said no, DD said ‘oh I know it’s because you’ve not got very much money’.

Facetiming an elderly relative, we’d tried calling a few times and not got hold of her (she’s always out and about) so when we did I said ‘glad we reached you at last, you’ve been busy’ and my daughter announced ‘yeah we thought you were dead’. I had never said that or implied it so no idea where that came from.

Neighbour came to pick up a parcel we’d taken in. Out of nowhere DD tells her ‘daddy always smacks mummy’s bum’. He does not!

Told my father in law ‘I really like my mummy’s boobies they’re my favourite’ - poor man didn’t know where to look!

Mine witnessed similar and said 'is it bird poo mummy?' 😳

Oh god, dd1.

When she was 2, she was in the trolley in our v small local Sainsburys around teatime on a Saturday. I was wearing a top with ties on it. Large group of lads buying pizzas and beer. In the first aisle, she pulled my top down under my bra using the ties and shouted "mummy, I love your boobs!" Lads sniggered obvs. I was mortified. Bumped into the same guys in every aisle thereafter.

When she was 3, I was heavily pregnant. Squeezed us both into a temporary loo cubicle in the big Sainsburys car park. Reallu awkward. Huge queue of women waiting for the loo. She said at the top of her voice, "oh well DONE mummy, you've done a poo!!" I can still hear the queue laughing.

Mine isn't embarrassing, but when I was a child me and my sister were playing a game and she wanted to be annoying by pretending to be asleep and laying really still despite my poking her (I think we'd had some minor fall out) so I went to my mum outraged and said "mummy, Sandra won't wake up". Never saw my mum move so fast in her life, poor woman!

Also, once when I was teaching Reception. I’d made the mistake of wearing a long maxi skirt. We’d had PE and I was having to crouch/ lean over to help with various buttons and shoes etc, meanwhile a little boy has become my shadow and is trying to hug my leg.

Once we’re all mostly done he casually announced to me ‘my mummy has got those knickers on today too.’ (Must have flashed the waistband over the top of the skirt without realising!)

There’s so many from teaching actually. My favourite being asking a little girl if she’d washed her hands after using the toilet, she replies ‘no but I’ve licked them’.

Same! My granny was watching Emmerdale Farm while babysitting me and a man shouted at a woman and made her cry. Recounted the plot to my mum when she was home and said he raped her. Fortunately there was no way mum was ever going to think granny had been watching anything with rape scenes in front of little me....

My son has form for this and some of the worst ones were (always loudly/always in public)

‘why do you do a poo every time you go to the toilet’ (because I sat down every time because I’m female)
‘that man is chasing me’ said gleefully as he ran away from the double amputee in a wheelchair
’look mama it’s Augustus gloop’ said about someone very overweight
‘mama do you see this big fat man’ as he literally stuck his finger into a man’s stomach
there are many many more, he’s aged me horribly 😂

I was out with the little girl I nannied for years ago and passed a lady with very frizzy hair, tied up into two high bunches with red scrunchies. Just as we got right near her, the kid pointed straight at her and announced at the top of her voice "look, Mickey Mouse"

My then two year old asked if I had popped up my back in the middle of a huge crowd.
She wanted to know why my belly was so big when I wasn't having a baby. Thanks Peppa pig.

Hilarious but I'm really hoping that Merlot is your dog's name and your ds is not a 2 year old wine critic.

My child, on seeing a black person on the bus, said very loudly ‘mummy, why is that man made out of chocolate’ and on another bus, asked about a man who had some sort of disease that made him very shaky ‘mummy, why is that man being silly’. Again, very loudly. I can still feel the embarrassment.

We were shopping when a woman who was maybe about four feet tall walked towards us.

My son cried, in tones of absolute love and joy ‘oh wow, there’s a little one!’

She was unimpressed. I’m sorry love!

Many years ago my 2 year old was happily sitting in the supermarket while I was looking at the frozen veg. A very good looking man in his 20s comes up to also look at the frozen peas when my daughter just announces very loudly “MY MUM HAS VERY LARGE BOOBIES”. I have never seen a man leave so quickly without his frozen peas. I then seemed to bump into him on every single aisle afterwards ….mortifying!!!

There was a lady breastfeeding her baby on the bus and my dd was around 5 and she said mommy your didn't breastfeed me with your little boobies.