Why are three year olds so mortifying!?

[HairsprayBabe]

Just got a call from nursery - a wellness check - DD told her key worker that "mummy is very sick from drinking too much wine" 🙃

Key worker saw me at drop off and I was clearly not drunk or hungover - she just had to check and we laughed about it.

To be clear - I drink a few times a year, Christmas, weddings ect. and never to excess, 3 max 4 drinks. My children have never seen me drunk or throwing up hungover. I haven't even had a hangover since way before I had kids.

Me and DH and extended family have openly joked about pre-kids, uni life, hen-dos, weddings etc that have included "being sick from too much wine" - not just me! Which I know is where it has likely come from but I am SO embarrassed, really looking forwards to pick up this afternoon 😬maybe I do need a wine!

Make me feel better with the lovely things your little darlings have said about you!

Laughing out loud at this 🤣🤣🤣

Skeleton face , omg a bit of wee just came out when I laughed .

My nephew told his nursery teachers that his parents had locked him in his room for a month. Very much not true and no idea why he thought to say it, but I think they had to call and check!

Sat in a taxi with GS who said very loudly I like the blue bandages on that man’s head. Thankfully the lovely taxi driver wearing a turban was very understanding and thought it funny.

My ds, now 20, was a terror for making inappropriate comments at the most embarrassing times. I have wanted the ground to swallow me up numerous times.

A couple I remember when he was around 3 years old. Entering a lift and an older lady was already inside. DS said that lady is really old is she gonna die soon

I’m dying at this thread. We don’t have kids, so my contribution is that when I was about eight my mum was called in to discuss the fact that I had written my “weekend news” on a Monday and put that my brother and I had spent the day in a cupboard on Saturday. We had a big understairs cupboard (walk-in, lights etc) and I used to like playing houses in it - sometimes I would rope my younger sibling in to joining me.

I was also - and still am - a person that bruises very easily, plus am very clumsy and short sighted. I generally have a couple of whoppers on my lower legs at all times because I walk into stuff. That got a couple of welfare checks in the bare leg/school skirt days. As an adult I once had a kind pharmacist discretely ask if I was okay at home because of a huge black bruise on my upper arm. I’d walked into an unexpectedly open cupboard and whacked it off the handle. My DP was mortified - he’s the most gentle soul.

My DD15 still tells me the size of her poo. It makes me 🤑

She also as a child:

Asked me in a queue at Lidl why the man in front in the queue was wearing a dress. I won't try and guess his religion but he was lovely and she was two and a half.

Stood in the playground at 3.5 arguing very forcefully that she was, was, she was indeed allowed to say fuck off by her mum. Was an interesting pick up as both me and the TA tried not to laugh. No idea where she had heard that. She had not heard it at home at 3.5. At 15 she has now heard fuck a lot.

We were at the airport and there was a rather portly bald man at the security desk. 2 year old DS, ardent fan of all things Thomas the Tank Engine, points his finger and excitedly exclaims: "FAT CONTROLLER". He was so delighted about it too.

@HairsprayBabe i told my primary school teacher that my dad was out shooting peasants at the weekend 🥴🥴🤣

It's the pointing at people and asking loud questions about them or commenting that has me cringing.

Once at Tesco, 2yo points to two women wearing niqabs(?) "Look mummy, spooky people!!"

Or 3yo pointing angrily at a man in a mobility scooter, huffing "Awwww - how come I have to walk?!"

🫣

My father ran outward bound courses after leaving the army. He and my mum got to school to find that my five-year-old self has written in my News Book “ I did not see my daddy this weekend because he was taking girls up on the moors`’

I think we might need a seperate thread that explains how one navigates these scenarios for those of us who may still have this ahead of us just incase 🫣🫣 skeleton face also had me in an absolute wrinkle. So much second hand cringe!!

I’m actually LOLing at this!

I shop for clothes mostly online and was looking at a dress and asked my (then) 9 year old to which they replied it’s nice so I ordered. Once it arrived I tried it on came out to show my husband and they go “well that looks nothing like it did on the lady” - considering the dress looked exactly like the picture I deduced the problem was me and promptly returned it! 🤦‍♀️

Winner

Love this one! Your teachers must have thought he was a serial killer!

My son when he was about three or four went through a phase of asking, very loudly, 'is that a woman or a man?' There was a very butch woman who worked in a particular shop we went into very occasionally, and it happened three times. Also had a habit of exclaiming out loud when he saw people with 'drawings all over their face'. (Honestly, people with face tattoos are not the kind you want to annoy.)

My son is in a wheelchair due to some complications from cancer (he's fine now from a cancer point of view) and just to reassure you, when little ones say things like that to my son or about my son, it really doesn't offend us. In fact, it often makes us laugh.

Though one time a conversation at a park went like this.

Curious little boy - Why are you in a wheelchair?
My son - I can't walk
Curious little boy - Why can't you walk?
My son - I got cancer but I'm ok now, my legs just don't work

Curious little boy gives a little nod and starts running back towards his mum and shouts at the top of his voice

''MUMMY, what's cancer?''

😬

In Tesco queuing right behind a short man (probably about 5ft) who happened to be wearing a gold chain. My 4yr old DD asks loudly “Mummy why is that little man wearing a necklace?”

I am crying 😂😂😂

Did you apologise ?

My 5-year-old told the nanny we were going to reduce her hours soon because we would be working less but we weren't telling her yet. It was absolute nonsense based on absolutely nothing.it was also mortifying because I don't think she quite believed us when we said there were no such plans.

My 3-year-old had her entire class, teachers included, "aware" that she has a baby brother. She does not. She would like one.

When teaching in an infant school, one of my class wrote 'I know my mummy and daddy love each other because they bath together.' Then she helpfully added an illustration.

DH is asleep, and im doom scrolling reading these and trying to laugh silently is very hard some of these are brilliant 😂

I have a nearly 6 month old and im looking forward to the toddler stage and him being able to speak, I need to write any corkers down

My daughter told her teacher that Mummy shouts shit & bollocks when she can’t drive the car out onto the main road as there’s too much traffic!