Gone from ‘Well Off’ to ‘Completely Skint’? Please tell me about it!

[BenignKipper]

I have had it verrrrrry easy and I knew it. Good professional monthly salary, able to throw stuff in my trolley at M&S Simply Food and not worry about what it would come to, nice wardrobe from Toast and Zadig etc. Are you running a marathon for a good cause? Great, of course I will sponsor you £30 etc etc.

But my circumstances have seriously changed. Salary the same but divorce means I am looking at £10-15 a day disposable income after bills and travel. I’ve pared everything back in my budget and I can survive (obviously).

But I know it will be a shock to my system, emotionally/socially - it seems scary. Has anyone done this? Do you have any tips to navigate it?

Any dependents?

Welcome to the world that most of us live in! You’ll be fine.

My son is 16. He wasn’t at private school so that’s not affected but he is used to me being able to say an easy Yes to school trips. He is an absolute sweetie though so I think he will be a good companion in this if he can see I am doing fine too.

Do you feel better typing that?

While I agree that you will be fine OP I appreciate that it IS a big change. I am sure that people manage on less but they are used to it and know how to live frugally but now you have to learn

I wouldn't say £10-£15 a month disposable income is "completely skint". I'm sure it's a shock from what you used to have but it's around £400 a month of just fun money

You need to budget OP. If you were used to buying whatever authentic supermarket, now is the time to start going round adding up how much the bill will be. Still give to charities, but make it 10 not 30, or 0 for repeat offenders. You will get by. You are tougher than you think. Half the shit we buy is overpriced unappreciated nonsense anyway. Buy dried flowers instead of weekly foral arrangements. I would view this a challenge which you will smash

bbc good food has budget meals

£10/15 a DAY! So up to about £400/month. It’s very doable and more than most people have spare.

This £10-15 will have to do food, clothes, trips, birthday presents and any breakages/repairs.

This may not be completely skint but it will not be easy.

I’m in a similar situation but fjr different reasons: unexpected baby and all the childcare costs and renovating a house. Tbh it’s made me question a lot of life and the constant consumer cycle and lean in a bit to the simple things. For example we are off now to swim in a river. Thr kids love it and it costs nothing. I’m hoping it won’t be like this forever but actually it makes you realise how bloody hard it is fjr pretty much all of us and how lucky you were to not have to think about money

Hi OP, I went from a well paid job to retirement and a very small pension. If you have it, have a small lump sum locked away as you’ll be amazed the difference this can make psychologically. Also, have a look at shopping in Lidl and Aldi and budget , but put a positive spin on it. For instance, you could say “how great I got these tasty cakes for £1”, rather than “how awful I’ve only £1 for a treat”. It works well😁💐.

If you bought clothes whenever you fancied before you were skint you probably have loads of good labels you never wear. I would be sorting out things that are good quality but never seen the light get of day and selling them on eBay. When I do this I don't ask top selling price I put the price nearer the lower end for the item and they go fast. My reasoning is they are bringing nothing in sitting in the house. I get some clutter gone and make some quick money. Try it op. You might be surprised. Also teen good makes go quick. You son probably has good stuff he's grown out of hanging about. These usually go quick as well. They are in school uniform so much that home clothes often have hardly any wear before they're grown out of.

I love the swimming in rivers - that sounds really positive! DS and I are members of a gym which we are going to have to give up. We’ve talked about it - he’s OK. We can swap it out for an occasional trip to the bouldering wall or one-off visits to pool etc but we’ll see how we go.

you need to put money into savings op

Yep! Things that I did-
cancelled all outsourced help eg cleaner and ripped up old baby muslims to make cleaning cloths. I only use washing up soap now to clean and occasionally vinegar/bicarbonate.
Wear clothes longer and change into pjs/comfys as soon as home so clothes stay cleaner for longer and hang them up straight away.
Wash my car myself or get kids to do odd jobs like gardening etc for specific treats/pocket money. Before they got minimal amount each week for no work.
batch cook and add veg to bulk things out eg finely chop carrot added to mincemeat makes it go further. Add lentils too.
make own lunches- batch of soup freezes into portions. Have meals on a side plate so it looks fuller altho I’m eating less.
use scanner when food shopping to keep an eye on budget and if not used the whole budget then I save the extra £ and add it to an envelope of fun money.
I use the cash envelope system too eg envelope for fuel, food, etc for the month.
To be honest a lot of the time I just go without and it really hasn’t been that hard. I view it all as a game/challenge.

I could add so many more things but unsure if that’s what this thread is about!
you can do it OP, and there’s lots of support out there if you can’t.

I have no spare money, I have no savings - all gone. It wasn’t reckless, it is just how it is so I can be free.

It is difficult to readjust.

Avoid going into town (whatever that looks like to you), or going out and about where you will pass shops/ retail opportunities as much as possible, so you can avoid the temptation to "just pop in to so and so and pick up such and such".

Treat your tight budget as a challenge- ie "Week 2 of Low Budget Challenge, and this week our contestant faces having to buy fuel for the car and back to school essentials for DS. Tune in to see how she'll manage!"

Gently encourage DS to get a part time job to cover his spends if at all possible.

Lidl is a godsend.

Oh yeah, we have ‘free’ days so most of this summer holiday has been free.
Also, a bus ticket (depending where you live!) is a cheap day out!

Thank you so much for replies. It does help to know it will be OK.

I am nervous about the change from being a person who says ‘Oh that sounds great, please do include me for [theatre/exhibition/cinema] and let’s get dinner beforehand’ to having to say No to things.

Try and put at least £10 a week aside into an emergency fund.

You can get clothes (including the all important branded stuff for the teenager) for a fraction of the cost on Vinted.

Er yes. Those are what most of us pay for out of “fun” money.

I would plan for Christmas if you are used to massive spends.

Food shopping is the big change. You can save loads by not eating from M&S. I find a delivery food shop to get all the jars/loo roll/ basics in really helps as you can tweak to get as close to £50 min spend. Then fresh tops of salad and meat from Aldi as you need.

Ration gift giving. Everyone has too much stuff anyway. A great card is fine with a bottle or flowers.

Vinted . EBay for clothes. Obvs.

It's a big change but the positive thing is you didn't need to spend like that so you can now adjust and you will be OK. Plus you are free from your relationship!

Try and look on it as a challenge and enjoy looking for bargains and shopping elsewhere. Aldi and Lidl have great ranges and are good prices compared to where you've shopped before.

Good luck.

Place marking as likely to have a big drop in income within the next few months due to job ending and it not looking like it's going to be very easy to get anything else !

You will be amazed at how well you can eat very cheaply if you plan / batch cook / scavenge yellow sticker items.