Do you ever do sneaky secret things ?

[BlueBirdOnAWire]

Like I’m thinking pretty harmless things like pretend your going to the gym but really go cinema

because you just want a bit of time to yourself 😂😂

yes I know. I know we are all perfectly entitled to spend time doing things like that that we wanna do
bit sometimes it’s just so nice to have a little something to yourself 🤫🤐

No need to

single parent
teen and tween
I get enough time to myself so no need to lie about anything

Is lying the only way you get to carve out time to yourself?

what would happen if you said you were going to the cinema rather than the gym?

Yep, I’m always fibbing about the amount I spend on clothes and Christmas ect. I don’t know why because he probably wouldn’t mind.

I sometimes drive the long way home so I can listen to music. It adds 5 minutes. Dh knows I do it but not necessarily when. I have teens and dh works from home so get little alone time.

No, I wouldn't be in a relationship where I had to lie to get the things I wanted/needed. I don't see how going to the gym isn't time to yourself but going to the cinema is. This just all sounds like weird, dysfunctional behaviour to me tbh.

Op, why orerend you’re going to the gym?

They might want to go too…

Can’t say that I do to be honest

Practically speaking, how does it work? Watching something at the cinema takes a lot longer than a standard gym session?? Do you have shared bank accounts, does he see the cinema transactions?

I get it though OP, I used to do little things like that when I was married. Small, white lies to either get a little breathing space, or to prevent a row.
I’m very happily separated now

I've done it. It felt rebellious.

Have spent my life doing secret things. Eating, shopping, taking a detour on the way home from work to look at villages I like. It's my private time.

“I’ve had this for ages” is my go-to

🙈I think you missed the point.

of course that’s not the only way I can spend to myself 🙈🙈

Ok so enlighten me

why do you need to lie?

if you don’t get it, I can’t help you

No. I do what I like when I like. I’m the boss of me not dh

I’ve just eaten a McDonald’s. I won’t lie about it but neither will I volunteer the info. It’s not his business and he wouldn’t care anyway. I just needed to be on my own and have a burger.

You cant “help” me 😆

Often. Only way to stay sane.

You are getting some odd replies on this thread @BlueBirdOnAWire .
I understand what you mean.

Occasionally on the way home from work I'd call into a cafe and have poached eggs on toast , or neros and have a coffee and brownie or if the weather was nice a scotch egg and drink ate in the park or the pub and have a pint.
For me it was a bit of time to change from work mode to home mode.
I probably did it about 2 or 3 times a month.

But that’s very different to saying I’m off to the gym then going to the cinema and coming back and pretending to have exercised. Especially when both are me time. I mean it’s not even in the same ballpark it’s that different,

I get what you mean OP, it's not the big deal people are making it out to be.

I also drive the long way, or have a sneaky McDonald's, or say a train was cancelled, just to have some downtime. I also know that my DH has the odd bag of crisps or cake in the car and doesn't mention it, not through shame or that I will get on at him, but just because he wants something just for himself that I won't butt in on in the same way that I want the time in the examples above.

No where do you seem to have lied about it @DeanStockwelll

My DP and I have always both liked our own space and done plenty of stuff separately - we already both do things just for ourselves, so I suppose there's just not really been a need for me to sneak off to, eg, go to the cinema.

I've certainly bought things sneakily though - books and clothes mostly. I don't know why, because we have separate bank accounts and at no point has my DP ever really been judgemental about shopping in all the 20+ years we've been together and really wouldn't care what I spent my money on! I think there's a part of me that just feels guilty for absolutely no reason, even though my DP wouldn't even raise an eyebrow about it. Definitely my issue and not his.

But again that’s hugely different , it’s not swapping one me time for another, the op is saying she pretends to go to the gym and pops off to the cinema instead.