Do you ever do sneaky secret things ?

[BlueBirdOnAWire]

Like I’m thinking pretty harmless things like pretend your going to the gym but really go cinema

because you just want a bit of time to yourself 😂😂

yes I know. I know we are all perfectly entitled to spend time doing things like that that we wanna do
bit sometimes it’s just so nice to have a little something to yourself 🤫🤐

You mean like buying/eating chocolate just for myself, without sharing with DH and DC? Guilty, Your Honour! 😋

Nothing like that for me apart from paying for Patreon membership for a hobby. Haven't mentioned that as DH just wouldn't understand how useful it is.

He also hates paying for any subscription TV so I didn't let on I had to pay extra to Amazon when we watched Outlander.

Not many on MN will get it, @BlueBirdOnAWire, but I do. Throughout my married life, I would occasionally (probably twice a year) book myself a day of annual leave and not tell my DH. I'd get up, see him off to work and then spend the day doing whatever I wanted. Nothing sinister, but if he knew, he would have wanted to take the day off with me when I just wanted a bit of me being on my own time!

Ignore all the passive aggressive 'bewildered' posters OP
Most of us know what you are talking about!
Secret things I've done:
Had a secret day off and just spent the day in bed watching telly
Said there was a massive queue at the supermarket when actually I went in costa and had a coffee and cake for an hour

I sometimes get fish and chips for my lunch and dont tell the family. I put the wrappers direct into the outside bin.

Every. Single. Outfit 🙋🏼‍♀️ 🤣

I understand the cinema thing!

DH and DS see going to the cinema as a treat activity and “a shared experience” whereas for me it’s just about the movie. I don’t really care if I’m alone or with someone.

If I said I wanted to go to the cinema they would want to come, there would be a whole discussion about which movie to see, what day to go, which time slot. There’d be debate over choosing seats, DS likes the back, I like the middle and DH doesn’t care. Then we’d have to queue for snacks, everyone deciding what they want, who is sharing what with who.

Sometimes I’d like to go see something that I know they won’t want to see (not their thing), sit in my favourite spot etc without any fuss.

if I suggested this there’d be uproar, they’d see it as a personal slight on them! “But why don’t you want to come with us??” Even if they understood, they’d think I was bonkers going alone… “why aren’t you asking a friend??”

and then when I got home there’d be 20 questions about how was the film, was there many people there?

I feel exhausted just writing that 🤣

No. Can't stand liars.

If I loudly announce that I am just going to put the washing away this means I get to go upstairs and sit and read a book or faff about on here and no one bothers me incase they get given socks to sort into pairs.

Yes, in a small way all the time.
A couple of times a year I take a day's AL to pack for a holiday/sleep/clean the house. My parents in law have our kids 2 days a week and don't tell them I'm on AL so they'll still have them. They'd probs be fine with it but I feel guilty for some reason.
I sometimes pretend I'm still working in my office when I've actually logged off and am just on here/life admin/doom scrolling.
I sometimes say I'm doing the washing and I'll just lie on my bed for ten minutes.
I lied to my DH a couple of times and said I was meeting a friend at our local pub (after the kids were in bed) when I actually would just have a wine by myself and chat to the locals or barmaid. I grew up in a pub and miss the social interaction sometimes. I felt weird about it anyway so now I tell him if I'm going by myself.
I just need a minute to breathe then I'm ok again. Like that episode of bluey (anyone know the one?).

Once or twice since DC started school I've booked a leave day and just stay at home while they all think I'm working. I know if this was common knowledge someone would have a sore throat/stomach which would be completely fabricated, but would technically warrant a day off (proved through bitter experience, and unfortunately DH will book off work as soon as I do). So now I don't tell them and it saves my sanity a tiny bit.

It was a running joke when they were tiny that I could get their attention best if I sat down with a coffee, sadly it's no different now. A day off is swamped with other peoples demands and I'm sick of it now (obviously needs are different, it's the expectation that my time off is theirs that I struggle with)

I do OP. I just want something’s just to myself. Not that anyone is going to question it but feels good just to sometimes be and not have to explain anything to anyone.

I lie about how much I spend on things. We don't even live together! But he is tight super frugal.

The gym is only me time if you actually like going.

My friend bought 2 more horses. She has a type and they’re all the same colour and same breed with no distinct markings
her husband hasn’t noticed (he wouldn’t be bothered anyway!)

I don’t because I don’t need to. If I said I need 2 hours or 2 weeks to myself, my partner wouldn’t care, other than checking I’m ok.

A relative used to lie about things like going to work when she had a day off, having a hospital appointment but really she was going to get a beauty treatment and what she’d eaten for lunch at work because her husband was an abusive, controlling arsehole. When women say they do this, I always wonder if they’re being abused. There is definitely some issue going on to feel the need to lie.

Thank you! Got to say I was equally bewildered by this oft-repeated statement. Even during my intensive gym phase, it was never a pleasure of the kind you look forward to. I did it because it was good for me. I felt the same way about beauty treatments and getting my hair done: more duty than indulgence.

I do enjoy being a lonely, slovenly old wreck now 😂 Almost everything I do is just for me!

Exactly. The gym for me is a dull health chore when the weather is too bad to go for a run. ‘Me time’ is things that are actively enjoyable.

I hear you OP!

I have been known to stop on drive back from work to get a nice coffee (or ice cream if it's hot) and sit quietly for 20 mins before going home and having to do stuff...

Now the kids are older I don't do that but on a day off I will go into town just to 'pootle' on my own.

I used to work with a guy who became a football reporter but was also a qualified solicitor.

During the week, he'd get up, put on his formal solicitor-type suit, take his briefcase and leave for 'work in the law firm'.

Except he'd quit that job years before and was afraid to tell his mother, who he lived with, that he was now a sports journalist.

It makes him sound like a sad git, but he was actually great fun, very witty and after his mother died he married a lovely woman.

Goodness, his mother must have been awful

and… why on earth did someone on a very good salary not move out!

You need to see my gym
beautiful pool, hydro pool, jacuzzi, steam room, sauna… bliss

I do with food - scoffing a sneaky bar of chocolate in the utility room, when the dc were small and would have wanted a bit but it was before their dinner.

I also occasionally get fish and chips without telling dh who would want to eat half (no problem) because he has zero self control around food, and is watching his weight.

I don’t feel any need to lie about where I’m going or what I’m doing. My dm did with my df, who was quite controlling, and dh does with his dps who have an opinion on everything. But dh and I actively encourage each other to go out, have fun, or just slack off a bit. He’d be delighted if I went to an art gallery or a film he had no interest in seeing, so that he was off the hook.

I think it was partly a cultural thing and she was also widowed. He wouldn't have been on a great salary as a reporter.

If my son ever feels like he has to do comprehensively lie to me about something so central to his life…. Bloody hell id have failed as a mother! Poor chap