You have to fight off an alien invasion with whatever is within arm's reach on your right. What will your weapon be?

[OneUmberJoker]

A tv remote and newspaper

Pre teen ds with all the attitude that comes with him he is currently holding a cap gun so weapons are a go

Ooooo no one would kill anyone with such impeccable taste! Do you also have any Zoffany? Can we be friends?

A crochet hook (6.5 mm) and a pair of insanely sharp dressmaking scissors.

My greyhound...

An empty box of Tunnock’s tea cakes 😂 maybe I could use the foil as some kind of reflective surface to disrupt the alien’s communications?

My JRT but she doesn’t have any front teeth left !! Rum and Diet Coke and remote.

A 16 week old kitten. That'll scare 'em 😂

A megabottle of shampoo and conditioner, bit of soap and safety razor.
I suppose if they are lead by Severus Snape I might get a chance.

And I could unscrew the shower hose. Eat two metres of stainless steel!

A bowl full of Werthers Sugar Free toffees.

That'll charm them into going away.

On further investigation, I also have two propelling pencils, an egg timer and a nit comb.

A charger cable and a lawn scarifier. The scarifier would certainly be painful and I could strangle the bastards with the cable.

A red miniature rose plant in a pot and a pair of silk wide-leg trousers (waiting for a split seam to be mended) ...

im just gonna have to accept being invaded i guess.

A blanket 😂😂

Unless the aliens fancy a games of hide and seek I think they may have the upper hand!

A table lamp. I could lob it I suppose.

One of my Labradors, fast asleep and 13 years old but as quick as a whippet- there are more around draped over various chairs and sofas but he is the closest.

My iron (it’s on!) 🎉

Oh and I would be perfectly safe he would defend me with his last breath

Empty bottle of Radox (I’m in the bath!)

Isn't he just and I'm not a dog person but my he oozes cute 🥰

A half eaten tub of cherries and my iphone.

Over -tired 7 year old. They don't stand a chance!

If you scattered the lego on the floor so the aliens were stepping on it it could work.

My fire poker and a very expensive Ottolenghi fruit bowl .

A fly swat- I’ll swipe them with it and chase them off.

Grapes, a pillow and my slippers. The grapes are pretty sour though.