You have to fight off an alien invasion with whatever is within arm's reach on your right. What will your weapon be?

[OneUmberJoker]

A tv remote and newspaper

A pair of stabby scissors. Yay me !

Fleecy blanket and a Himalayan salt lamp - reckon I could make those into a larger equivalent of the old half brick in a sock and do a bit of damage!

Large torch and a heavy anglepoise lamp 💪

A joint and a flyswatter

Tabby cat.
Currently asleep, always stupid.

My cat. She’ll happily disembowel them, then will go back to sleep in my lap, purring.

A moody, highly strung and itchy chihuahua.

The tv remote, a book and a magnifying glass.

The plan is simple, bore them to death with rubbish tv whilst using the magnifier to make me look 10 times my actual size

If it's my handbag, they're fucked.

A feather duster - tickle them into submission.

A cup of hot tea, my make up bag and pair of sunglasses.

A charging cable in a dodgy plug socket that sparked yesterday so I flicked it off, and a cup of tea. Im feeking optimistic actually.

A can of coke with a long outlawed plastic straw. I guess I could poke them in the eye and pour the coke into their face?

Our ginger girl is definitely a flerken. We haven't seen the postman in months.