Vegetarian not catered for

[ParrotsAteThemAll]

Invited to a bbq this afternoon, just had the message they haven’t got any vege burgers/meat alternatives. Of course I could buy my own, but why should I? The meat eaters will be having burgers, sausages, chicken whilst, yet again, I’ll be offered a salad and bun.

This happens all the time and for years I just accepted it, as I was the awkward one. I’ve mostly had to cook my own too, usually in the house as the host ‘doesn’t know how to cook a vege burger’! Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

I’ve bought a nice bottle of wine for the host and a nice dessert to take, tempted not to take it now. Of course I’ll go enjoy the company, probably eat beforehand,

Any other veges find this frustrating, or should we accept we’re the difficult ones and take our own food?

In my experience ( veggie since 1980) it’s normal to cater separately. I think people buy those throw away bbqs or cook in the oven.

Ive never been to a bbq that didn’t cater to everyone there in terms of actual bbq type food. Otherwise it’s ‘pop over for salad’, which is fine just embarrassing for the guest to be the only one not joining in … Just like OP was.

Im surprised a few people on here have said they don’t provide anything in terms of bbq food ie…as the invite. Obviously my experience isn’t everybody’s ☺️

So have you!
Ive just eaten my last piece of soda bread. My favourite

Or you could keep pretending this is harder than it is. Some people do like to make issues.

Well said @BopItWinner

Some people are so hard of thinking aren't they. Or maybe they eat such limited diets and can't think outside of the box.

meat eaters eat veggies too, we dont eat meat 3 times a day we out veggies and pulses too.

As a Vegetarian of nearly 40 years I am fortunate that this has never happened to me. Friends know I am vegetarian and have always asked me what I will eat/brands etc and catered accordingly. I usually bring some veggie bits too and find everyone eats them too things like veggie skewers halloumi steaks etc. I feel that these “friends” cannot be bothered! Bunging a moving mountains burger or Richmond meat free sausages on a BBQ are hardly rocket science after all. If it were me I would keep the nice wine and desert and stay at home!

That’s really rude! I’m vegetarian and have never came across not being catered for. I also cater for everyone who comes to my house - meat eaters, gluten, dairy free. I can’t imagine excluding someone if I invite them for a meal.

I hate being invited to BBQs. I don’t like to eat processed meats (burgers and sausages) because I prefer to know what they are made of!
Nor do I like anything spicy so that’s another worry if anything has a rub or has been marinated.
Although I love salads, I hate dressings or mayonnaise.
Before now all I have eaten (discretely) is dry bread rolls!!!
I’d never let the hosts know as it’s my problem and I make the best of it.

Except the meat eaters have 3 options to chose from. The vegetarians only had one, when it was gone there wasn’t an alternative because vegetarians don’t eat meat
When the vegetarians food was gone though the meat eaters had other choices

This is all quite obvious really
Plus the quantity of vegetarian food wasn’t enough to feed such large numbers

Thats why the school in the end reduced meat served, ( one option ) increased vegetarians ( 2 options ) and added a vegan option.
2 days a week they dropped meat altogether
Problem solved

@IamMaz Don't you find a plain salad with no dressing dry and boring?

Aah this is so rude. I’m veggie and thankfully have always been catered for. SIL is the most restricted eater I know… vegan, gluten free and “allergic” (went to one of those Herbal testing places so I have my doubts) to tomatoes, peppers, brassicas and alliums. Obviously feeding her is close to impossible and she offers to bring her own food but I’ll still respect her diet and rustle up some hummus, some gluten free bread rolls and carrots/cucumber etc, plus a fruit platter. No-one invited to my house goes hungry, I would be mortified if someone turned up and I had nothing on offer to feed them.
At the very least they could have made some vegetable and halloumi skewers or something that would be enjoyed by the meat eaters too?

One thing I have found with being veggie is that I repeatedly get mistaken for being vegan and this does seem to overwhelm people sometimes for some reason! But honestly why would they not just ask what you normally like to eat?

Totally not unreasonable to be annoyed!

To be honest I've never gone to a Barby empty handed and I'm a meat eater. My auntie is vegetarian and always brings stuff for herself however I have In the past bought bean burgers for her but she may not like them. Honestly we all help out as it's expensive. I always make my potato salad, coleslaw and tuna pasta salad as requested but also some burgers. I think it's rude to just turn up with a bottle of wine they may not like and you will probably drink anyway.

@LilMagpie If your SIL was really allergic to alliums, she couldn't eat hummus (garlic is an allium, and all hummus contains garlic as far as I know). But maybe she's not allergic if it tastes good...

I have a niece who is vegetarian, coeliac and doesn't like vegetables, which can make catering or eating out tricky, but we manage (most of the immediate family is veggie or vegan which helps).

You can suddenly develop an allergy to any food!

I haven't rtft but this is pretty shit hosting. Why did they invite you if they are not going to cater for you? A packet of vegeburgers costs 2 or 3 quid. I would have declined the invite they clearly don't value you if they can't fork out a couple of quid for you. I hope if you took the wine that you drank if all yourself. If you go next time like others have suggested order a delivery. I can't believe some people are so fucking tight and nasty to their guest.

Me too please!

Thats a great solution. There should be enough veggies to cater for all children. Our school has a salad bar, vegan, vegetarian and gluten free options.

Yep. I know people who have become allergic to beef, pork, cows milk, tomatoes, carrots in their 30s and 40s having eaten them all their life with no issues.

You’re right. I actually just blend up some chickpeas, tahini, olive oil, salt, pepper and sometimes any herbs I have in and call it “hummus”. Personally I love garlic though and to me it tastes bland but she has never complained lol. I know she is grateful for the effort at least.

It's not that hard to cater for vegetarians, vegans, or any other diet. If you like the people hosting, I'd just bring my own to make it easy. It depends if past contamination from meat on the BBQ would bother you, though I suppose you can always have it cooked on the stove top in a frypan, or put some foil on top of the BBQ to avoid risk of contamination.

We once had a vegan person insist that everyone at a BBQ we were hosting must eat vegan. No meat products must be part of it. They were uninvited.

If a host invites someone round for a meal they should cater for them. By not catering for the single veggie etc then it is actually showing that they don’t care about your needs as much as the other guests.
Non veggies bring up not knowing about veggie brands/ not knowing how to cook veggie food as an excuse - they could just ask their guest if they can recommend any brands or easy recipes - a good guest wouldn’t ever choose anything extortionately expensive or complicated. And even if a host bought the wrong brand - a polite guest would appreciate the effort - it’s all about good manners on both sides.
if you do go OP then I wouldn’t take a host gift either if they aren’t actually catering for you.

I have this exact problem! My sister keeps inviting me for a birthday BBQ, and then serves me some rice and chickpeas! Like as if I went to a BBQ for this!

And then I'm taking a birthday present, which I truly regret as I'm wasting more money on getting a take away.

The only reason I still take a present is because I go with my family which are meat eaters

I totally understand your frustration.

If I were you going alone to this BBQ, I'd probably just take the veggie stuff you will be eating rather than the presents, but I understand this is awkward too.

What I might be is just ask my sister in advance what food there is for me, and then accommodate accordingly

I’m a vegan with coeliac and I take my own food to whatever bbq, function, funeral or any gathering where food is being served.

Cross contamination is a big thing for coeliacs and I can’t risk being glutened so I remove all responsibility from the hosts by catering for myself.

I think sometimes it’s mostly all about the occasion and getting together with friends and family than about the food.

Although it is nice to have food provided for you whatever your needs/allergies if at all possible.

A bit mean of your friends if they know of your preference yet still won’t provide food for you.

Do you offer meat when they come to your house for dinner?

Blimey it’s 2025 for fuck‘s sake if I had friends like these they wouldn’t be friends for much longer. being a good host is not difficult but it requires effort. It literally means catering for everyone who you have invited. I’m a recovered alcoholic and I was invited to a friends house for drinks and pizza a few weeks ago and I was offered two glasses of water and then a cup of tea whilst the other two tucked into endless bottles of champagne and fancy home-made tequila based cocktails. needless to say we’re not great friends anyway but I won’t be taking her up on any more offers; it feels mean-spirited, unimaginative and downright rude. gone are the days when all people can do is whip up a pepper stuffed with rice (which has to be one of the most boring inventions ever imaginable). There isn’t a restaurant on Earth now that doesn’t cater for vegetarian/vegan folk and if you can’t manage to make a barbecue that isn’t just meat, then perhaps you shouldn’t be cooking for various other people.

I have done, but presumably there aren’t any carnivores who don’t eat any vegetables at all… at least I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t eat vegetables or carbohydrates. if I did meet somebody who only ate meat I doubt we’d be friends. I hope this helps.