Ruined ds's prom

[lostanduseless]

Went to pick up him and friends and there was a hideous diversion. I just couldn't do it. Drove round and round for an hour until his headteacher gave up and drove them home. Could hear friends getting frustrated, understandably, while on the phone to him.

I feel to stupid and useless. I drive loads but every other parent managed to work it out except me. Poor ds. Poor teachers. Poor other parents. What a twat.

This sounds very strange. You don’t know the way to your child’s school?
Surely within an hour you could have parked up and walked over?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️ or even asked someone!

@BuildbyNumbereit seems strange to make that comment based on the way the poster is feeling. What do you want to achieve by doing so?

This sounds very strange. You don’t know the way to your child’s school?

OP didn't say the event was at the school. She said 'venue'.

Totally agree with this. The diversions I’m commonly on are national speed limit, windy country lanes where pulling over often creates a hazard. I’ve been in a couple of bad situations because of unsigned diversions in bad weather and darkness, unable to stop safely for miles and therefore often going wrong for miles. When I’ve queried this with the responsible body, through Traffic Scotland, said that they just didn’t have the resources to properly signpost these diversions.

I am concerned on your behalf around your reaction. No you didnt ruin his Prom. He had to wait an hour to get home. And? He was aware of the delay as you told him. If he thinks that has ruined his Prom then he is in for a whole life of dramatic disappointments! You are not useless. Diversions are quite hard and sounds like you panicked and had your son on the phone etc. I struggle with diversion as well. Those stipid little yellow signs that dont seem to be evenly space and ignore things like ROUNDABOUTS and JUNCTIONS where you are meant to just know which way to go. I got lost out of Manchester airport once in the middle of the night. I dont think i am useless. I think I am very skilled and talented in many many areas, and not in others. I would honestly look at getting some counselling for how you are feeling, as while kit is frustrating, your feelings of uselessness are not commensurate with the situation. Also, no one will thinking your an idiot. They wont have even thought about it again!

This is a wild overreaction. You’re not a paid driver for anyone. They were getting a free lift and you were late. So what? Seriously, other than the staff who were put out, nothing happened.

I wish I only had this to cry about 🤣

That's why Google maps outperforms everything else. It's aware of traffic and road closures.

What on earth is going on in your head that has let you get so worked up about this?! They didn’t miss any fun. You need to seek serious help for your anxiety, please, because it’s not healthy to turn something like this into a catastrophe

OP you are over thinking it massively.

I have often helped at school proms, and waiting around at the end of the night for various lifts / cabs to turn up is part of the deal. (Especially when the cabs decide to cancel 🙁)

The school should have all the parent contact details with them in case of emergency so the Headteacher could have contacted one of the other parents, or arranged a cab.

It was only 1 hour! Your DS was with his friends and teacher. Honestly it’s not the end of the world! Try and see the funny side.

A box of chocs or nice biscuits for the teachers would be nice but that’s plenty. Whisky is way OTT.

In future use Googlemaps and not a Satnav.

Yeah don’t worry, OP! These things happen, it’s literally nothing. The kids had a great night, and they’ve learnt a bit of resilience in the face of unexpected circumstances.
They won’t be feeling bad, it’s all fine x

@FortyElephants Why so aggressive? You criticised OP for not using Google Maps instead of SatNav so I merely pointed out that she could have been exactly in the same situation with Google maps.
With regards to the points you are trying to make now, since I am writing here I cannot be still driving in circles in Germany, so must know a thing or two about finding my way without navigation.
However, it is not always a simple case of pulling over and looking at the map. There are many places where you cannot safely or legally stop so you will end up going in the wrong direction for some time. Or if you are in unfamiliar place, especially in the countryside, you may not even realise that you are going round in circles for a while.
Also try setting your own route when Google maps thinks you are in Scotland, while you really are in London😂😂(that happened several years when unusual sun activity caused issues with satellite communications).

If it helps I sailed past tge junction of the motorway for an interview, not just once, but twice. There had been roadworks so I had already lost all the spare time I had. I would have been 40 mins late. I bailed and went home. Such a lemon, but the world didn't end

Such a lemon. I love that expression. It's so English. Who else would understand such a lemon.

OK, that was a nuisance. But how did you ruin his prom?

We drove round and round Malaga roadworks for 2 hours looking for the entrance to our hotel which was literally across the street from the airport but we kept missing the entrance.

You’re burning now. You don’t need to see the parents. It will be forgotten by September.

OP you tried. A diversion at night somewhere you don't know well is far from ideal. Don't beat yourself up. Some diversions are awful and v confusing!

Google maps doesn't play well with unexpected diversions.

It's also not easy to know when a diversion ends, and when to try and rejoin the original route. I've been banjaxed by one in the peak District before, sacked the stupid app off and just white knuckled it - I have no sense of direction until I absolutely need it and then it somehow works out for me 😆 it was getting dark as well, and I had a kid in the back.

I have never seen, on Mumsnet, a pretty much unanimous, “this is nothing to worry about!”. Hope you’ve taken that on board, OP!

The most important thing was that your son and friends had their night oout. They'll forget about how they got home.
I had an experience recently, my son was selected for trials for a football team. It was a big deal. I set off that morning in good time we used Google maps and drove around and around for 40 minutes l was getting more and more stressed and we could not find the pitch. We asked 3 different people for directions, 2 of whom sent us in a completely wrong direction. We were getting calls rom my husband asking where we were, the selectors of the team had called him asking where my son was. We eventually found the sports pitch, we had bypassed it several times. My son was 25 minutes late. He wasn't selected. I still break out in a sweat when l drive near that area. It's probably 30 mins from our house.

Just say fooey, or worse, and ignore me if this isn't helpful. I mean this very kindly.

Your executive functioning wasn't working properly tonight, as you kept doing the same thing that wasn't working - it sounds like you really panicked. Now you're feeling utterly wretched and beating yourself up about something that was pretty small potatoes. I've experienced a lot of MH issues over the years and you sound like me when I wasn't doing well. Would your mental health be worth thinking about?

I'm not being rude, not at all, but it was where my mind went immediately - brain just not working as you panicked, but unable to stop and think, followed by a massive bout of beating yourself up about a relatively small f'up. I bet the Head has to do that every year for one reason or another

Don't worry OP - the state of some diversions these days is laughable. I got trapped in an awful one near Dorking the other day. Nothing seems intuitive - especially if roundabouts are involved as you start second guessing 'is this my diversion sign or the people going the other way?' It seems illogical that you could question that but it's happened that instead of taking me out of the road closure I've just been led back into it!

Honestly, that one I encountered the other day made me feel like Sam and Frodo when Gollum leads them into Shelob's Lair and then just fucks off. The signs were there and then they weren't; it seemed like someone was determined to give me a traffic related finger whilst saying 'See you!'