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Original poster

Ruined ds's prom

222 replies

lostanduseless · 27/06/2025 00:42

Went to pick up him and friends and there was a hideous diversion. I just couldn't do it. Drove round and round for an hour until his headteacher gave up and drove them home. Could hear friends getting frustrated, understandably, while on the phone to him.

I feel to stupid and useless. I drive loads but every other parent managed to work it out except me. Poor ds. Poor teachers. Poor other parents. What a twat.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 27/06/2025 07:57

This is, at worst, a bit embarrassing and a bit of an inconvenience you've caused the teacher. That's all. Nothing ruined. How is your son and his friends waiting round a bit ruining what was, I assume, an enjoyable night beforehand?

No need for the beating yourself up and hand-wringing and presents.

Despairinglysad · 27/06/2025 07:57

It doesn’t help you now pay but once I got lost in London and every 10 minutes or so, I found myself back at Swiss cottage.
So I flagged down a taxi and paid him to get me to where I needed to go with me following him 💐

CocoPlum · 27/06/2025 07:58

He got to have his entire prom, you didn't ruin that.
A gift/card for the teachers would be lovely.
Yes Google maps can be brilliant but one night I got stuck when it sent me on the diverted route and it insisted I go along a major road ... but it was closed. I was so stuck I ended up finding a hotel in the middle of the night, so it's not perfect when it comes to diversions.

Maray1967 · 27/06/2025 07:59

TheaBrandt1 · 27/06/2025 06:57

Gosh you’re awfully hard on yourself op! You tried to do the right thing and it didn’t work out.

Dd and I went to an activity (that was crap anyway) in the next county. There had been floods so some roads were closed. We just drove round and round trying to get out but kept being directed back to the closed road. It was horribly frustrating. Ended up driving to a city I knew in the wrong direction or I’d still be driving round and round there.

Edited

Similar happened to me at 11pm in the dark. Usual access to the motorway closed and not enough diversion signs. Satnav kept trying to take me back to the usual access point. In the end I parked up, drove to a different town three miles away and reset the satnav from there. There was nothing else I could do.

OP, why didn’t the HT help you? Why could no other adult tell you which road to take?

You didn’t ruin his prom! He was late back home, safe while he was waiting, no big deal. If he’s giving you grief over it today he needs to pack it in.

Doitrightnow · 27/06/2025 08:00

It's not that bad, it happens. He still went to the prom, it's not ruined.

My Dad forgot to pick me up from an event once.

I arrived 30mins late for a physio appointment and arrived in tears because I couldn't follow the road diversion.

My husband took two hours to do a 45 min journey because the diversion was set up wrongly and just took everyone around in a circle!

I have many more examples I could share.

FortyElephants · 27/06/2025 08:00

juldan · 27/06/2025 07:41

Bullshit. I use google maps regularly to get the quickest route and it often tries to send me to the roads, which I know for fact are closed for planned maintenance. It happened several times on a motorway when the road ahead was completely closed and all the cars were directed to leave at a junction. Instead of changing the route, the fucker kept telling me to rejoin the motorway till I drove quite far away from it.
It is ok when there are diversion signs, but I was on a motorway in Germany where they just closed it ahead with zero signs. We kept driving round in circles for ages before figuring out were to go.
So don’t be upset OP, it does happen and it was not your fault that you were late.

Show quote history

You know you can use google maps just as a map right? Obviously the app isn't perfect (though it's a lot better than a satnav) but if you really can't find a way through a diversion using satellite guidance you pull over and look at the map like we used to in the old days and choose your own route which you can then set google maps to follow.

Sidebeforeself · 27/06/2025 08:05

It wasn’t ruined. You might have an anxiety disorder of some sort to be reacting like this. Please dont get gifts and cards etc for everyone - thats OTT. Im surprised you are a teacher and are asking questions about the etiquette of gibing teachers gifts - you’ve got yourself in a right tizz!

Jonesboot · 27/06/2025 08:05

I thought at first they'd missed the prom. This is a complete non-event, stop catastrophising.

DustyTangerine · 27/06/2025 08:09

Getting gifts and cards for everyone will make you look a bit silly. Maybe something for the staff members who stayed with the kids if you really feel like it’s necessary but dont start buying things for other parents - there’s no need

Gloriia · 27/06/2025 08:13

Jonesboot · 27/06/2025 08:05

I thought at first they'd missed the prom. This is a complete non-event, stop catastrophising.

Yes I thought that, thst she hadn't got them there.

You have ruined anything op, I'm sure he had a good night!

Why on earth didn't a teacher ring a taxi for them or why didn't he ring one himself as he had his phone?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/06/2025 08:15

My poor sense of direction is legendary in my family to the extent people say to do the opposite of what I think. There are few set routes I know like getting to work or school but I am very thrown by things like diversions especially in an unfamiliar area. You have my sympathy but don’t worry about it; no harm has been done. Hope DS and his friends had a great evening! 😊

Cucy · 27/06/2025 08:20

You didn’t ruin anything.

It will all be forgotten in a couple of days.

Thank the teachers and parents and move on.

It’s worth having a paper map in the car.
I’ve never needed one but a similar thing happened to me a few weeks ago.
I did not know the area at all and my phone and satnav kept taking me back to the same place.
You can just about plan a route on your phone but it’s difficult as you need to zoom out and remember second left and then first right etc and keep pulling over. But if you have a paper map you can literally draw a diversion route onto it and then just folllow it.

MissDoubleU · 27/06/2025 08:29

I think making this all about yourself and being by very woe is me is more likely to ruin the experience than the mix up itself. Your son attended the prom, had a good time with his friends, there was just a few issues getting home so after a wait he had someone else bring him back. That’s it. You’re taking far too much credit saying you ruined the whole thing because of an error when the event was technically over.

Continuing to harp on about it and god forbid having your son comfort or reassure you while you beat yourself up would be the absolute worst way to handle this. Don’t make it about you, don’t make it an exercise of “I can’t do anything right I’m just terrible”

Laugh it off with DS. Apologise, move on, and maybe seek some therapy to work on your self esteem.

Sadmummy3 · 27/06/2025 08:35

lostanduseless · 27/06/2025 06:11

Yes, I will definitely get the HT some chocolates and HoY was there late too. I don't know whether chocolates is enough and I should be getting whisky or something, but is that inappropriate? stupid thing is I'm a teacher but I've never known this happen in 20 years of attending proms. Should I get something for the other parents too?

Why would you get something for the other parents? If they were that bothered they could have gone to get the kids themselves but they didn't.
So yes get something for the HT and HoY but not the other parents Don't beat yourself up for not getting there. I'm crap with directions. I had to go a different way to my parents house once and ended up miles away. Luckily DD used her goggle maps and we got there otherwise I dread to think where we would have ended up.

Pipsquiggle · 27/06/2025 08:38

Honestly, it will be laughed about in a short period of time.

In terms of traffic apps - Waze is great, particularly for diversions.

FruityCider · 27/06/2025 08:38

Has your ds actually said anything or are you just blowing this all up in your own head.
The teachers would have found it annoying but you're hardly the first parent to pick a child up late, nor the last. Have some chocolate and forget about it.

SophiaLaB · 27/06/2025 08:50

Ah don’t beat yourself up. We all have hiccups and that is all this is. The kids were safe and supervised and I’m sure you will clock up many more hours than 1 waiting for him and his mates when you go to pick them up and they’re late/not ready for you. This will make a good story for them in future years. Buy the HT and HOY a card and small apology gift. If I was a parent of one of the other friends and he/she was complaining I would be telling them to get over themselves.

Gloriia · 27/06/2025 08:53

FruityCider · 27/06/2025 08:38

Has your ds actually said anything or are you just blowing this all up in your own head.
The teachers would have found it annoying but you're hardly the first parent to pick a child up late, nor the last. Have some chocolate and forget about it.

Why would the teachers have found it annoying, why didn't one of them have the common sense to tell him to ring a taxi instead of giving them a lift?!

Honestly, it says it all when school staff can't troubleshoot very simple complications.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 27/06/2025 08:55

OP honestly it's not a big deal. A box of chocs with a thank you note for the Head and sorted.

I once got lost in Leeds, coming home from the Leeds Arena, there was a diversion (is there ever not in central Leeds?) and I went round in circles for an hour. By the third time driving past the Arena I was in tears. And the gig was shite too!

AutumnFog · 27/06/2025 08:55

It's obviously embarrassing, but I can see how it happened if the prom wasn't at their normal school. In future try to use Google maps as it updates better to road closures, or just ignore it and keep driving in the rough direction a different route and it should've eventually redirected you

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 27/06/2025 08:56

I don't even think it's embarrassing. Shit happens. Oh well.

honeylulu · 27/06/2025 08:57

Oh OP I do sympathise! I'm a safe driver but massively struggle with directions. I don't know why, I'm not a thicko, it's like my brain never developed that skill. I even struggle with "visualising" left and right - sometimes I have to glance down at my thumbs to remind myself which is which. If I'm going somewhere unfamiliar I have to learn the route and what it looks like from Google maps and photos before I set off because even with a Sat nav I struggle to understand its directions for anything other than simple roads and junctions. An unexpected diversion would have my brain exploding! I get so upset and angry with myself if I end up late for something because other people seem to manage it fine.

Your son and his friends did not have a ruined prom. They likely had a great time. This was after the prom.

It is not as if you just didn't bother turning up, you tried and tried and there was phone contact so the boys and teachers knew what was happening and the other lads could keep their parents updated. If there was grumping they were just tired by then and will feel fine after a sleep.

Heartfelt thanks and a gift for the head teacher who brought them home and perhaps also for any other teacher who stayed behind to help until they knew what was happening. Nothing else necessary.

Then be kind to yourself.

GoneAlready · 27/06/2025 08:57

OP, would you want your DS to feel this awful about himself if he made a mistake?

Pancakeorcrepe · 27/06/2025 08:58

What? You haven’t ruined anything. They had a great night.
They are silly for getting frustrated - they are much too young to be feeling frustrated at this sort of thing when they have all the time in the world and no responsibilities. In our time, we would have relished the extra time together with friends to just have a laugh.
Please please please let this go. Life is too short. Nothing bad happened. Everyone is fine. Good opportunity for kids to learn to be more patient.

Funnywonder · 27/06/2025 08:59

You sound like me. I mean you sound EXACTLY like me. Someone who overthinks. And someone who feels humiliated, ashamed and like a complete failure if they make a mistake. Just remember you are doing hundreds of things competently every single day. I think the whole ‘audience’ side of it added to the panic. People were relying on you, so you felt under pressure. You probably would have corrected yourself more easily if you hadn’t been driving to a timetable.

But everyone had already had their prom. Whether or not they enjoyed the event itself was out of your control. And most importantly, they all got home safely.