Ruined ds's prom

[lostanduseless]

Went to pick up him and friends and there was a hideous diversion. I just couldn't do it. Drove round and round for an hour until his headteacher gave up and drove them home. Could hear friends getting frustrated, understandably, while on the phone to him.

I feel to stupid and useless. I drive loads but every other parent managed to work it out except me. Poor ds. Poor teachers. Poor other parents. What a twat.

Oh bless you OP, please don't beat yourself up. You have loved and cared for him for 16 years, probably paid for the outfit and ticket, and probably driven him to millions of other things, and you've made a very understandable mistake, which caused a minor inconvenience. Let's just imagine it the other way round for a minute - you heard that a parent hasn't found the way to pick their kids up. Would you condemn them? no of course not, you would probably kindly offer to drop their kids off. You would just shrug. I am an anxious type and would also be beating myself up over this type of thing, but really you don't have to...

As a teacher, you know stuff like this happens all the time.
You haven’t ruined anything.

Last week, the T junction at the end of my road had diversions in both directions and my road itself was signed as a diversion too! The council seems to have bought a job lot of diversion signs!

This happened to me at a wedding. There was a road closure which hadn't updated on maps and I just couldn't get to the venue so missed the wedding. I felt really bad at the time but it doesn't bother me anymore, luckily it wasn't a really close friend and they still had a great time. Your DC still got to the prom so I don't think you have anything to feel bad about.

It really isn’t a big deal. I thought you meant you couldn’t get them to the prom so they were over an hour late - even that would have been a disappointment but still not a big deal .

Next time if there’s a diversion, follow the road signs or use google maps (since it gets updated in real time on diversions and suggests alternative routes)

As one who has been involved in staffing Leavers Do's, not Proms back then, if this is the only thing 'going wrong' that the Head had to deal with, s/he will be counting her/himself very pleased this morning! Send a note, card or whatever apologising and forget about it,

You just need to get a bit of perspective here. Much much worse things happen. If this is the worst thing that’s happened recently, you’re doing really well.

Is your DS making a thing of it ? If so, he needs to get some perspective too.

Im sure you’ve apologised to him and to the teachers. If you have, dint keep apologising but move on. a if you haven’t apologised to the teachers, drop them a quick email. If you want tos end them a box of biscuits, then do, but no need. And move on.

This stuff happens to everyone. Say sorry. laugh. Hold your head high and move on. End of.

What do you mean diversions aren't electronic? For the avoidance of doubt and as I've said several times on this thread, I was suggesting using google maps as a map and planning a route accordingly.

So his night wasn't ruined he & friends had to wait longer than expected to get home.

Shame no one who had got there explained it to you!

Did you use the car sat nav? If you did I would always avoid using them. Most car sat navs are not completely up to date and do not take into account road closures and diversions etc. I would always use maps on your phone... it's usually a lot more accurate.

either way, don't be hard on yourself. You tried your best and things like this happen to the best of us. Try not to over think it.

You struggled to pick him up - good lesson make sure he has a travel back up plan in future - a taxi number list and some cash/method of payment.

I was once late picking one kid up from a trip abroad - she was late texting they were close and two other people in the house decided to come and took ages to get ready - petty much said catch me up in end and ran out of house. Obviously teacher left with child was annoyed - last one left and about 5 minutes later than everyone else no one was hanging around as it was late - and I apologized sent card and chololates to said teacher - only time I have ever been late like that - a series of misjudgements. It didn't ruin the trip for said child - was just very unfortunate and unintentionally rude.

Next time if there’s a diversion, follow the road signs

I don't know where you live but the signs around here are at least confusing and at worst incorrect and useless.

Our village was subjected to diversions of some sort for a period of 18 months while a major water pipe was installed. From one day to the next we didn't know which roads were open, which were under traffic light control, which were entirely closed. The signs would have had people not familiar with the area going round in circles of doom or taking a 20 mile diversion (they didn't want people taking the small rural one track roads).
There were signs about 15 miles away informing road users there was NO ACCESS to our village. We were relying on our village FB page to what the actual status was.

Please don't apologise it was not your fault. Suggest next time they tell the dc to use an app to book and pay for a taxi and avoid any poor teacher taking kids home dramalama.

With the greatest respect you remind me a little of my mum - and not in a good way. Completely catastrophise it and made it about you. Get a grip

How was his Prom ruined? What will ruin it from experience is all the angst that follows about how you have ruined in and how awful it is - which in my experience means me stepping me saying you haven’t and completely invalidating any experiences I have had

if that sounds harsh I do apologise but I have lived events like this - and often it must be said with driving

Honestly OP do not think anything of it.

These things happen - to us all.

It was only an hour, not the end of the world.

I think you are over-reacting!

You did not ruin his prom! There was a bit of a hiccup with the pickup - that's all. The HT behaved responsibly and sorted it out.

Chill! There are much worse things happening in the world!

There is absolutely no way you're a teacher but don't know what an appropriate gift is!

What a big drama you've made of a simple, easily fixed mistake.

It was a mistake with no ill intentions which your incredibly apologetic for, you're being so so hard on yourself

Thanks all.

I know I have an unhealthy mindset and I I'll try not to communicate this to ds. He was quiet and tired when he got back and now I'm at work after an early start so haven't seen him today. I just feel so bad but I don't want him feeling mistakes are unforgivable.

I kept suggesting an uber but they all seemed resistant to it. I also said about 30 minutes in it would be an idea to contact one of the other parents, which they did but not to tell them to come. I appreciate they didn't think I'd totally fail to get there until it was too late though.

I don't know where you live but the signs around here are at least confusing and at worst incorrect and useless.

Oh, yes, indeed. Whenever I come across a situation like this, my heart either sinks or is in my mouth, depending on whether I am merely risking frustration in an area I know or in danger of becoming hopelessly lost in a place I don’t. The diversion sign system utterly hit and miss. It’s very frequent that there just aren’t enough of them to keep you on track and if you don’t know the area you’re then totally stuffed. As for satnav, well maybe it’s clocked the issue and it’s sending you the best way and maybe it hasn’t. If satnav has obviously picked it up and is sending you a different way to a sign, which do you trust?

Nightmare.

Op, diversions can be horrendous. I have no idea why you’re even contemplating gifts for other parents. They got their kids safely delivered home without having to venture out and contend with this, didn’t they!

It was the teachers who made a big drama. How useless to dither for an hour.
The op suggested an uber why on earth didn't they do that 🙄.

I got trapped in sat nav/diversion nightmare a few months ago.
Diverted off m25, literally the sat nav kept sending me round in a loop to a closed rd
In the end I drove in the opposite direction for 5 miles til I recognised something.
And put the trusty road atlas back in the car!

@lostanduseless this is totally the sort of thing I can imagine happening to me as I have absolutely no sense of direction and never any memory of places even if I've driven there before, so this is my nightmare. Don't beat yourself up, everyone is back home and safe. In your shoes I'd send a card and maybe chocolates to the HT, mainly to make yourself feel better.

'The HT behaved responsibly and sorted it out.'

The HT behaved irresponsibly seemingly unable to solve a simple problem. No wonder schools are in the state they're in if this is a snapshot of capability.

You say “I know I have an unhealthy mindset” and then you say “ I just feel so bad”. You cant keep tussling between the two. If you know you have anxiety you need to work on that and understand you feel bad BECAUSE of your anxiety , not because you did something wrong.