Do you need "taking" to hospital appointments?

[Cliftrip]

Just a couple of things that have cropped up recently and a conversation with a friend.

A man at work "needs" time off to take his wife to a hospital appointment. I don't know what it's for and neither should I, perhaps it's something she needs emotional support with.

My parents are becoming a worry and probably should have support but wouldn't dream of letting me (or a DGS) take them to an appointment.

A friend's younger and fitter mother won't ever go to any medical appointment alone, so friend has to take her.

Another friend recently changed our plans to take her (married 30yo) son to an appointment about his severe toothache.

It's never occurred to me to ask anyone to come with me, last time I called 111 for advice they sent an ambulance and I got a taxi back from A&E in the early hours. I'm not saying that's the right thing BTW, I didn't want the fuss letting anyone know would have caused.

Everyone is different, some people have fears or worries and having support helps ensure they actually attend and appointment plus having someone else there to hear what the medic says or advises. Others prefer no fuss or to do these things alone. There is no right or wrong.

Personally I prefer to go alone usually, I find I can focus more and I don’t like being fussed over.

What’s your point OP?

TBH you sound a bit put out that your colleague is joining his wife for an appointment. Why is that?

Yes, I do. Some of us are disabled, and would struggle, or be unable to go alone. I guess that never occurred to you, hence your question.

I go alone. I take my mum, because she’s a fretter and usually needs some moral support. Everyone is different.

My husband and I didn't attend each others hospital appointments. Until he went to find out whether he had cancer or not. He did. Stage 4 and incurable.

So I never question why someone is taking their partner or parent to a hospital appointment.

My husband or adult children always take me to hospital / Doctor appointments not because I need support but because the parking is atrocious so I need someone who can stay with the car if there are no spaces . It could be that the colleagues wife is like me .

I get that. My DH had the same appointment during Covid and had to receive the news alone...

Yes we all different. My mam needs hand held for everything 80s. My husb gave me lift for wisdom tooth but would go to my own appointments

Yes, I would need support as I have autism and hospitals are bad enough for me at the best of times.

I do becayse it's impossible to get parked so dh drops me off and goes for a coffee.

Honestly it could be something awful so I'd be er question it but some people do need support, hospitals can be confusing, there's anxiety around missing your turn if you nip to the loo, they do something then tell you you can't drive for a few hours, etc.

It would entirely depend on what the appointment was for, surely?

Perhaps it is for the results of a biopsy and his wife needs support? Perhaps she is having a procedure that needs sedation and someone has to pick her up. Perhaps she needs assistance getting to the appointmet and getting around as she is non-weightbearing and on crutches?

All reasons for taking someone to a hospital appointment that have cropped up in my family/ friends in the last 12 months and we are all late 40s.

In recent experience of hospital appointments for my dd, having someone take us rather than me driving is because parking is a nightmare. Its easier to be dropped at the door and someone else be able to sort about parking.

Totally depends what the appointment is for.

My husband came with me to all my pregnancy scans for our first child and is again this time. It could be something like that. When I was going for my procedures and then to find out if I had cancer I took someone with me, it could be that.

It could be that his wife does have health anxiety or is disabled and couldn’t manage alone.

You’re not “better” because you don’t take someone with you, I also don’t think 111 sending an ambulance is a better option than asking a loved one to help you!

It depends doesn't it, some need physical support, emotional support. A family friend went with my mum to one because he's a doctor and can decode doctor speak/ask the right questions.

I might go with another adult to A&E as sometimes you need to advocate for them.

Sometimes you can’t drive/taxi home, depending on the procedure.

Congratulations on never having to worry that you’re about to be told you have cancer, heart disease or some other chronic, life impacting illness.

i have a kidney transplant and got told the news my pain was more than just an infection and I’d probably not have children when on my own as I was trying not to cause a fuss. Now if I am waiting for results or anticipate a change in my condition I take someone with me.

Theres nothing wrong with asking for support when it comes to your health

If I can drive there and back, I go alone, otherwise ask DP to go with me.

They insisted on sending the ambulance. I did offer to get a lift on that occasion, but they wouldn't "let" me.

It depends on the appointment. When I had cancer or when I was dealing with fertility treatment, I never attended an appointment alone. There was never any question about that. If there is any kind of anesthesia or sedation, someone has to attend with the patient so I bring someone to those.

For most of my regular hospital visits, and there are many because my I lost the genetic lottery, I go alone because they are really not much more than glorified trips to the GP where there happens to be equipment.

Your colleagues wife’s appointment might be a procedure that needs anaesthetic. I’ve had a couple of day surgery type appointments where I wasn’t allowed to drive home and needed someone to be on hand whenever I was ready to be discharged.

similarly, I’ve been to hospitals where I’ve nearly missed the appointment because of a lack of parking spaces. I’d be tempted to get a lift so I could jump out of the car to get to my appointment while the person I was with continued trying to park.

sometimes people need someone to advocate for them or to help remember the details of what was said - particularly if they’re in pain or scared.

sometimes they might be anticipating bad news and want someone there to comfort them.

DH and I always went to our own appointments - in the last year or so though we have both had an issue where we wanted some moral support / not to have to drive - both 2 week pathway scenarios both all ok 🤞- give them the benefit of the doubt ?

The journey to our local hospital is fucking horrible, and the parking is abysmal and often there isn't a space if there is then it's extortionate. DP does often drive me to appointments because sometimes I need to bail out of the car to get there on time. It also means he can park a few miles away at McDonald's and come and pick me up when I'm done. But it's purely a convenience thing, I can and do drive myself if he's busy. Except if it's one where I can't drive afterwards, obviously!

I have cancer and have to attend many hospital appointments. Sometimes for treatment, sometimes to find out results from scans. Luckily my husbands employer is very understanding and he takes time away from work to take me to my appointments.

Our nearest proper hospital is in a town 45 miles away with atrocious parking, few other parking options nearby, and which would take hours and hours to reach by public transport - bus, then train, then bus. If you actually want to ensure you get there on time for your appointment, you need someone to take you, so you don't have to worry about trying to park, or whether the buses and trains will be on time, or running at all.

So what was your point then, about not bothering anyone?