Do you need "taking" to hospital appointments?

[Cliftrip]

Just a couple of things that have cropped up recently and a conversation with a friend.

A man at work "needs" time off to take his wife to a hospital appointment. I don't know what it's for and neither should I, perhaps it's something she needs emotional support with.

My parents are becoming a worry and probably should have support but wouldn't dream of letting me (or a DGS) take them to an appointment.

A friend's younger and fitter mother won't ever go to any medical appointment alone, so friend has to take her.

Another friend recently changed our plans to take her (married 30yo) son to an appointment about his severe toothache.

It's never occurred to me to ask anyone to come with me, last time I called 111 for advice they sent an ambulance and I got a taxi back from A&E in the early hours. I'm not saying that's the right thing BTW, I didn't want the fuss letting anyone know would have caused.

No. I am a competent adult, with a car. Or I could get a taxi. Even in a "bad news" scenario, I would attend alone so I could take time to process any information before having to discuss with anyone else.
I really don't understand these people who need someone with them ( barring learning difficulties etc).

Yeah I needed my DH to take me to Hospital for me to have D&C to remove our dead baby after a missed miscarriage.

It's really none of your business

The recent times I've accompanied my FIL to his appointments for his Parkinsons they stress more than once in the letter that only one person should accompany him. Maybe this is due to the nature of degenerate illnesses and a desire to keep the environment as calm as possible. It's at a very busy hospital.

I was support for my MIL's new husband (and her) at her appointments as she progressed through Alzheimer's, but these were at the local community hospital which always seems very quiet, and no issues with parking etc.

Blimey. You do you, but maybe try not to be so scathing of those who do life differently than you?

Well, if that's how you operate - that's fine. For 'normal' appointments, I always used to go by myself, but I was grateful when my late husband was able to accompany me to and from operations and I did the same for him.

Being dispassionate, now that I'm on my own being forced to take taxis adds a monetary cost - £40 one way, if there's not public transport available early enough in the morning for a day op and there are times when the hospital will refuse discharge if there's no one there to accompany you home, no matter how 'competent' you are.

I once found myself going home alone after an unexpectedly painful and traumatic procedure. No anaesthesia was involved at all, so I was sent home. On that occasion, it would definitely have been better had I been accompanied.

From an emotional point of view, I do miss the support of my husband. It would have been good to have him there when I was waiting for tests and results last week. Thankfully, I had a good outcome.

I can understand that some people might prefer to process things for themselves.

I cope independently, but there are times when I would rather have someone with me.

I'm with you @Cynic17 . I've had a lot of emotionally difficult hospital appointments recently and I've turned down DH's offers to come with every time. I'm quite a self-reliant person and I'm very private about health issues.

But I get that we're all different and some people need the support. Others need the transport. Or people might just need someone to help them get home safely after a procedure.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way. We're just all different.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way. We're just all different.

Yes. It's totally fine if you don't want someone with you, but you don't get a badge and it doesn't make you a better person.
It also doesn't mean you can't understand why others might want or need someone.

I wanted my DH with me at my cancer appointments as the information is overwhelming and I needed both another pair of ears and emotional support

It never occurred to me to ask anyone to come with me to hospital until I started having stomach pains two years ago, I thought I had food poisoning but it turned out to be a ruptured appendix. If my mother hadn't insisted on driving me to A&E I would have died.

A few weeks before that I found a huge lump in my breast (which turned out to be stage 2 breast cancer) so while I was recovering from peritonitis I was gearing up for biopsies and MRIs. My friends 'took' me to all my appointments, sat there with me and held my hand while the oncologist delivered the bad news and told me I'd need a double mastectomy and chemotherapy.

Hope this has helped you put things in perspective, you ignorant smug twat.

I have sight and cognitive impairment from a head injury. If I go alone, there's a fair chance I'll get lost. I've been in a taxi and the driver asked me where to turn off. I had to explain I can't see well enough or learn routes, so I didn't know.

Depends on the appointment and the person. I would usually go alone but my friend "took me" to my most recent appointment as I was told that I needed to have someone with me and I wasn't allowed to drive afterwards.

I had an appointment yesterday and my husband attended, and I’m glad he did. I was seen privately using Bupa and I find it all so hard to navigate. Getting treatment codes, having things authorised, understanding the process. And that’s quite before talking to the consultant when in extreme pain and being able to understand and remember what was said.

Why would it be reserved for children? Anyone can be ill, and anyone can be dependent.

When I was still working, it was termed "compassionate leave" and we were allowed a maximum of 5 days a year. That's why I cut my hours to a 4 dy week - to make it easier to manage DH's medical appointments.

I drove myself to blood test at hospital 40 minutes away, How I wish DH had taken me! So many vehicles tried to take me out, then I got stuck behind a tractor and was late. Had to queue to park the car. Had DH been with me I could have got out and he could have parked the car. Stress I didn't need to have and then couldn't find the department so was even later

Anyway the team were wonderful and all done and dusted so to speak

I always attend alone as have no one to ask. I wouldn't want anyone to come. Now I do because I am pretty poorly and have experienced mind bending medical gaslighting, been close to dying from medical neglect and then transferred on once they realised their severe negligence, told all sorts of nonsense - usually by men.
It's advisable therefore to always take a witness. Now more than ever the way it's going.

Mostly I go alone, other times for example I recently had a bad tooth took husband and just aswell I did as they had to remove wisdom tooth and I wasn't able to drive back.

People need someone to help. You have no right to judge anyone's circumstances

This is not a criticism of your post. But when my DD had advanced Parkinsons Disease there’s no way I could have managed to take him to outpatients appointments on his own because his balance and muscle strength were so weak. There would have had to have been at least one other accompanying him besides me.

I totally understand this.

When I was taking my late husband to hospital on my own, it was a bit of a nightmare. He could walk, but couldn't manage the distances in hospitals.

Ergo, I'd pray to find a drop-off bay and take him inside. Then I'd have to run back to the car, find a space, run back into the hospital and wheel DH to his appointment. If he'd been even more infirm, then there's no way I'd have managed on my own.

I need someone with me at appointments because I’ve got an acquired brain injury that affects my speech. I need someone (usually my husband) to translate for me.

Sending love xx