Odd message from new piano teacher

[Plainplantain]

DD (7) has done a bit of piano at school for the last 2 years. We are not happy with her progress, she doesn't seem to be getting the full 30 mins and she misses different subjects at school to do her classes. So we gave her teacher her notice and started looking for someone else outside school.

We found someone who advertised locally in a shop window. We looked him up online and were happy. Spoke to him on the phone, he said he comes to pupils homes and that it's very important that I stay with them in the room. All good.

He came yesterday after DD's school. I let him in and he got on with the lesson, I sat in the living room with them but about 2 meters behind not interfering with the lesson. He turned to me very assertively and said I have to stay next to them and watch so I know how to help DD with her practice. I complied and moved next to them.

He worked with DD on a song that was a little challenging for her and he said for now she could just work on half of it. Then we had a discussion about the books we needed to buy and then he started packing away. So I said to him, would it be ok for him to play the song she needs to work on so she knows what it is supposed to sound like and what to aim for. He said, oh of course.. sat at the piano and played the song beautifully. DD was very inspired and after he left, she practiced and it sounded almost as it should so that was definitely worth it.

Today in the afternoon (24 hours later) I got this message from him saying very bluntly that I don't need to tell him that he has to play the song for DD. She will get plenty of opportunities to hear him play and that he is a qualified teacher and has been teaching for 32 years and knows what he's doing. My role is to just sit and watch so I know how to help DD. Then he said see you all next week at 4pm.

I'm perplexed. I couldn't have been more polite and accommodating, didn't ask many questions, I went along with everything he asked.. and I just find it rude and so unnecessary. I didn't want to interfere in the lesson at all and I was happy to sit back and watch from a distance. It just left a bad taste in my mouth and I wonder if its a red flag and there is more to come.

I have not replied as I found it so odd!

Can anyone offer some perspective?

I’d send this too!! He frankly sounds like my ex husband who’s a gaslighting, controlling abusive narcissist and I wouldn’t want any man like that to have anything to do with my children and also paying for the privilege of being talked to like shit!!

Aw come on, it’s a bit of a leap to say he’s abusive.

You must trust your gut on this OP. It doesn’t matter if he is autistic - plenty in my family are, including my adult DS who is in the workplace. Being autistic is not an excuse for the way he treated you. It’s not even really a reason. My DS does not interact with people and leave them feeling shitty. This guy chose to treat you the way he did, he chose to send you a text. And the consequences of those choices are that you don’t want him for piano lessons. Which is completely reasonable. Definitely send the not a good fit message.

If you message to say not a good fit, I would really avoid going into it in any more detail like that. Anything you write - he could ruminate over it - he has form for ruminating after all. And it could be viewed as a criticism. I would send the message that pp YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld suggested

Tuesday!
😎

Plus also, you know what would inspire your DD far better than that toss pot.

Don't have him back. Don't have people that give you the ick in your own home.

I agree that I'd be put off and wouldn't want to continue with him.

I wouldn't send him something lengthy though, you won't get anything out of it. Just keep it brief.

Now you know why he was available 😬

I agree. Keep it brief and leave a bad review elsewhere, I’m sure there are sites for rating teachers/ his “company” can possibly be rated on Google.