Daughters wedding

[PeppyZebra]

Needing advice. My daughter gets married in 6 mnth at a church. She was having 3 bridesmaids. Myself and ny husband halve purchased her dress at £2500, paid for a gospel choir and are paying for the church. We are also renting a house near the church for the night b4 and after. Myself, my hubby, ny son, his girlfriend(whois a bridesmaid) and my daughter are staying there night before. My daughter has asked for £150 each from bridesmaids for hair makeup and dress. Two are fine. The other one(best man wife) has said she can't afford it. She has already paid 50.00 for her dress and my daughter said the rest is not to be paid until day of wedding. Works out about 5.00 per week. This young lady and her hubby are not short of money. She works full time, he is a professional rugby player and they have just paid 60 grand cash no mortgage for an extension on their 5 bedroom house. She has messaged my daughter saying she just cannot afford to have her hair and make up done but has confirmed that she has made an appointment to have her make ip done professionally somewhere else on the day and it is to cost nearly £50. My daughter doesn't think she wants her to come to our home on the morning of the wedding with all the celebrations when the other 2 have paid and she won't. Just to point out also when my daughter gave her the link for the dress she ordered a completely different dress than what my daughter asked her to and ended up sending it back. I don't want her to come and I am annoyed that she has put my daughter in such a position and it feels like she is playing on the friendship of her hubby and my soon to be son in law. HELP PLEASE

Your daughter is rude and grabby to ask bridesmaids to pay for their and make up. This is why the bridesmaid is refusing to pay for it.

Your daughter is a bridezilla. Sorry.

Your daughter should be paying for the bridesmaids dresses, hair and she up. What’s cheeksskivthdm for £150!

Bridesmaid is quite right. £150 for make up, I'd be refusing that too. She's bought her dress and is having her make up done professionally. That sounds perfectly fair

Traditionally the bride pays for dress (hire) and makeup/hair for her bridesmaids. Your DIBU

If you're going to dictate what other people wear to your wedding you have to pay for it.

Maybe your daughter should have got a wedding dress costing only £2000 rather than £2500 and used the leftover £500 to pay for her bridesmaids' dresses.

The bridesmaid's financial circumstances are none of your or your daughter's business. You don't get to decide how other people spend their money. End of story.

If a bride expects her bridesmaids to wear a specific dress, or have their hair and make up done by a certain person or in a specific way, then the bride needs to pay.

it is rude for her to expect a bridesmaid to pay £150 for her hair and make up to be done. Regardless of whether she can afford it or not!

You either pay for the hair and makeup for the bridesmaids when you’re the bride, or you can say they can choose to pay for their makeup to be done if they want to pay, but if not you’re fine with them doing it themselves. Ridiculous to insist they pay £150.

I'm also rather intrigued about the fact that she's having three bridesmaids, one of whom is the best man's wife and another of whom is her brother's girlfriend.

Does she not have any close friends?

My daughter is paying for her bridesmaids dresses, hair and makeup

First response nails it .
I would be very disappointed to be asked to pay for my own dress/ hair/ makeup as a bridesmaid regardless of my financial situation. It’s crass and grabby.
Your daughter should have chosen a wedding she could actually afford instead of expecting her mates to sub everything.

More fool you for spending £1250 on half a dress.

If she can't afford a wedding like this, she shouldn't have one. It takes the piss to ask bridesmaids to pay for their makeup!

She's lucky the bridesmaid hasn't told her to just piss off.she sounds grabby, entitled and bossy.

I got married recently and paid for the dresses and hair/make up for my bridesmaids. Why wouldn’t I? They were doing ME a favour being bridesmaids. No way should they be even more out of pocket as a result. The only thing I didn’t buy was jewellery and shoes for them and that’s because I said they could wear what they wanted.

Next she'll be charging guests £xx per head for their meals 🤣🤣🤣

If a bridesmaid has to pay for their own hair and make up then they can have it done by whoever they like!!

it feels like she is playing on the friendship of her hubby and my soon to be son in law.
What do you even mean by that?

Theres a lot of irrelevant information in your post, why mention what you’re paying for? What does that have to do with a bridesmaid not being able to afford the make up.

£150?! I would do my own thanks!

Poor bridesmaid ..I assume the reason her and her partner can afford their extension is because she values money and is spending a lesser amount for her hair/makeup. She is to be admired for her common sense. What's your problem ? She is spending the amount she considers appropriate for YOUR daughters requirements ...what happened to the days where bridesmaids dresses were paid for by the bride/groom/father of the bride etc. £100 each for hair and make up ? YABU

@PeppyZebra its not up to you decide/ comment on someone else’s finances just because you think they should be able to afford something.
She says she can’t pay. She’s made alternative arrangements, that’s ok

Why does she have to use your make up artist? She can use her own. A bit of a tantrum to ban her from getting Ready with you just because she’s not using your make up artist. Very cheeky

It really is normal for the bride to pay for bridesmaids dresses, hair and makeup. I just don’t understand how you wouldn’t know that. It has no bearing on how much the extension to her house cost.

Bridesmaids do not pay for their own dress, hair or make-up unless they are entirely choosing their own. If your daughter wants them in a specific dress and having their hair and/or make-up done by the same person then she pays.

Bridesmaid has absolutely nothing wrong.

I'm getting married in 6 months, and am covering dresses, hair, makeup, and accommodation for my bridesmaids.

Your daughter is being unreasonable to dictate what they have to buy, amd making them pay.

You either give freedom to buy their own dresses (in a general colour for example), but if you want a specific dress, you pay for it.

Has your daughter been on wedding groups that are American? I've noticed that the standard in America is that bridesmaids pay for their own, so maybe she has the customs in different countries mixed up?

You don’t ask someone to be bridesmaid and then ask them to pay for everything!

It sounds like a nightmare tbh, and your daughter sounds very grabby! The expensive dress for a start!

she should be focusing on her future marriage not just one day.

Im talking as a 36 year old who had been married 11 years. Couldn’t have been less bothered about the wedding.
We did have a lovely day and took everyone into consideration!
The marriage is the most important part!!

If your daughter is asking for them to pay for their make
up then surely they can choose to pay someone else to do it for them?

Traditionally the bride pays for the bridesmaid’s dress, hair, make up, especially if she wants certain styles.

I think your dd should allow all the bridesmaids a choice of where to get their make up done and then just meet at the house in the morning to get ready.