Daughters wedding

[PeppyZebra]

Needing advice. My daughter gets married in 6 mnth at a church. She was having 3 bridesmaids. Myself and ny husband halve purchased her dress at £2500, paid for a gospel choir and are paying for the church. We are also renting a house near the church for the night b4 and after. Myself, my hubby, ny son, his girlfriend(whois a bridesmaid) and my daughter are staying there night before. My daughter has asked for £150 each from bridesmaids for hair makeup and dress. Two are fine. The other one(best man wife) has said she can't afford it. She has already paid 50.00 for her dress and my daughter said the rest is not to be paid until day of wedding. Works out about 5.00 per week. This young lady and her hubby are not short of money. She works full time, he is a professional rugby player and they have just paid 60 grand cash no mortgage for an extension on their 5 bedroom house. She has messaged my daughter saying she just cannot afford to have her hair and make up done but has confirmed that she has made an appointment to have her make ip done professionally somewhere else on the day and it is to cost nearly £50. My daughter doesn't think she wants her to come to our home on the morning of the wedding with all the celebrations when the other 2 have paid and she won't. Just to point out also when my daughter gave her the link for the dress she ordered a completely different dress than what my daughter asked her to and ended up sending it back. I don't want her to come and I am annoyed that she has put my daughter in such a position and it feels like she is playing on the friendship of her hubby and my soon to be son in law. HELP PLEASE

Why isn’t your DD paying for all three bridesmaid’s hair, make up and dresses?

OP the bride pays! If the bride wants a make up artist at the house in the morning she pays. Or the bridesmaids do their own make up (or go to someone else first) but the full £150 should be paid by the bride.

The bridesmaids should not be asked to pay for anything.

I paid for everything for my bridesmaids, couldn’t imagine asking them to.

Another one along to say that the bridesmaid shouldn't be paying anything - that falls to the bride. That would be the case if it was 2p a week.

Hair and makeup are very personal things and I'm not surprised at least one of the bridesmaids doesn't want to use the same one. There are many reasons why she would prefer another makeup artist/ hairdresser- she has used their services before and trusts them, prefers their make-up brand, has used the one your DD has hired and doesn't like the make up or the artist / hairdresser. Also getting 4 people ready (hair and makeup) ( maybe more) is a lot for one artist / hairdresser and someone always gets the bum's rush and why should she pay for that.

Frankly I would be advising your DD to pay for the dress, makeup & hair herself. And remind her to get presents for her bridesmaids - I received jewellery on both occasions I was a bridesmaid.

YOU and your daughter are being complete pricks.

you know nothing about their finances but it’s literally irrelevant as the bride should pay for it all. You can’t ask someone to be bridesmaid then expect them to pay for their dress hair and make up to be done. What’s the point in being part of a wedding if it literally costs you money!!!!

I imagine your daughter has no friends as she is having to ask her brothers girlfriend and best man’s wife to be bridesmaid, and it’s no wonder with behaviour like this. Reality check. Where are her own friends? She’s obviously alienated them long ago and these poor women don’t feel they can refuse as are with the brother and best man

The bride is meant to pay for the bridesmaids dresses, hair and makeup!!! Your daughter is being rude

As it’s only “essentially” £50 each your daughter or her parents can pay for it.

Unless people can afford to pay for everything for bridesmaids they either should not have them or have a lower number that they can afford.

As someone said earlier other than shoes it’s really not appropriate to expect others to pay for the bride’s whim.

I'd be ashamed to message someone to agree to pay £2 a week finance on hair and makeup! Either cough up or accept that the bridesmaid can use her money how she sees fit

Irrelevant. Could be £50, could be 5p.

DD needs to pay

LMFAO at the £2 per week payment plan 😅😅😅😅
What is this???? brookside circa 1985
As if! your DD is desperate for 2 pound a week when chose a £2.5k wedding dress.

Thinking about it, if she'd just picked a 2 thousand pound dress she could have done the decent thing and paid for her bridesmaids dress hair and makeup as is custom and had £50 left over

It’s the norm in the UK for the bride to meet these costs. Is your daughter’s wedding elsewhere where different conventions apply? It might help to make that clear.

Even if we ignore the tradition of brides paying for bridesmaid dress etc, there is no need for a bridesmaid to have professional hair and make up at all, and certainly no need for it to be by the same person as the bride. If she's paying, she can choose who she wants and her budget. Also, even if you were playing, she might feel more comfortable having control of how she looks and would have a right to decline. I have been bridesmaid twice and bride once and shock horror did my own make up every time. I don't think any marriages were ruined by my dodgy blending...
Also I'm confused about your list of what you are paying for - none of that benefits this bridesmaid so how is it relevant?

Well she's obviously learnt it from somewhere as the brides mother doesn't see anything wrong with asking the bridesmaid to pay either.

Such crass behaviour. Are you going to go round each week to collect their instalments? What are you going to do if they can't afford to pay? Set the bailiffs on them?

Honest to god, the instalments are the worst part.

The behaviour of you OP and your DD is awful.

Saying you don’t want them there in the celebrations because they haven’t paid. Wtaf?! It’s not a pay per view.

I don't think this thread is going the way @PeppyZebra wanted otherwise she'd have returned.

Probably two...

I've never heard of bridesmaids being charged for hair and makeup. I'm amazed the other two have agreed to pay. Most unusual. I covered all my bridesmaids' costs as do most I believe.

You e missed the point - you/your dd should be paying for the hair and makeup - they’re for her benefit after all. It’s only £6 a week

@Simplelobsterhat so true about makeup. No-one needs a makeup artist anyway, and something tells me someone is making a big profit with this malarkey.

I hope you're getting the bridesmaids nice gifts. A piece of jewellery is traditional.
You can probably pay for that in weekly installments.

So could your daughter pay for it at £2.00 a week?

It is extremely rude to charge your bridesmaids for hair and make up. I wouldn’t pay it either.

The exact split of money doesn’t matter - if your daughter wants them to wear something specific and have their hair make up done by a specific person then she should pay.
this post actually makes it worse -2500 for her own dress but couldn’t find 150 for her bridesmaid’s (who are doing her a favour!) dresses?!?

Or three
An abroad one (the new word for a foreign holiday)
A local one
A bridal shower.