God I’ve got to tell someone they have a personal hygiene problem tomorrow

[Thedeuce]

Please please please if you’ve ever had this convo before give me top tips. It’s a man not a female and it’s BO.

I hope it went OK

Please ignore advice about not following up with an email. This is an official conversation that you're having as her employer/manager, it needs to be documented in case it has to be taken further.

I'd advise having an addition member of staff (HR or someone on/above your management level) in the room as well for a potentially sensitive matter.

@Velmy
I wouldn't for the initial conversation.
But if it carries on then do what you are suggesting.

A friend whose DD is similar hit on the solution of buying several of the same item (when they managed to find clothes that ticked all the sensory boxes), so clean clothes didn't feel different or look different.

I notice many references to deodorant on this thread. Do people mean anti-perspirant? Or are people really just using deodorant and hoping for the best?

Anti Bacterial soap ! The old fashioned kind like Dettol. It's tricky to find but it is a game changer.

Good luck OP !

What happened plsssssssss

It would need to be beyond ridiculous looking though surely. I've never ever seen makeup applied so badly it would warrent a 'complaint' or make someone appear incapable of their job.

It would seem like a very petty thing to moan about. Unless they were literally a model or makeup artist or someone on telly.

The PP suggested the make up was applied so badly. Wandering eyeliner and tide marks that it appeared the person had difficulties with their eyesight.

I often see women working in retail when out shopping that have horrible fake tan and thick orange foundation and clumpy mascara that looks like it's been on for days. They look like they need a good scrub. A fresh face with no make up would look more hygienic and professional.

As I said earlier, if really depends on the working environment and the job itself.

Ohh I feel for you! I’ve told this story on here before on a similar thread, but I hope it will make you feel better about your upcoming conversation…because ANYTHING that you say will be better than what happened to me!! 🤯

I had the job of telling a young woman that her personal hygiene (or lack of) was affecting others in our workplace (classroom).

The young woman herself had limited English and was with us on a college placement. I had asked her college tutor about approaching the subject but was told that I should do it, but they suggested I also have my TA (who was from the same culture and spoke the same language) to support the conversation and translate if necessary.

I started off ok…but then she asked what the smell was as she wasn’t sure why she would smell. I bottled it a little and said it was an ‘intimate’ smell and quite strong. My TA stepped in at that point and started to speak very fast in Urdu, pointing to her groin and making what I can only imagine was ‘rubbing a flannel’ motion 😳 That was bad enough, but then mid-Urdu sentence she loudly, in English, uttered the words ‘Fishy Fanny’, whilst continuing to ‘scrub’! 😳😳😳

I was utterly mortified!

More conversation was had between the two of them, and the word ‘knickers’ was said several times. My TA explained to me that the young woman had not realised that she should be wearing knickers and that the loose trousers under her tunic had not been washed for some time, as she didn’t realise they needed to be washed as they were ‘outer wear’.

Not sure why she wasn’t wearing knickers though. It did get a little better after this but not much.

This was many years ago now and I still die a little when I recall the conversation.

Anyway, lots of luck to you…it will be 💯 times better than the way I handled it I’m sure!!

@Thedeuce how’d it go????

i think some people probably do mean deodorant and not antiperspirant. I find that washing with antibacterial soap and then using a deodorant like Wild (which doesn’t stop you sweating but stops it smelling bad) is more effective than something like Mitchum, which ends up making you smell of flowery BO. Perhaps the solutions to perimenopause BO need a separate thread.

What a horrible idea. Walking into a meeting to have two people talk to you about your lack of personal hygiene is twice as bad as one. Having someone sitting there as a witness.... Just unforgivable.

OMG @TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad how excruciating 😱

How are you @Thedeuce after the difficult conversation?

Although it's insensitive, I don't know that that's any worse than having a meeting about it. If I was the person with the BO, I'd be mortified either way but I think I'd be more mortified about being called into a meeting about it. At least if it's an off-the-cuff, direct remark with NO witnesses, the subject is broached and can then be noted by the person and moved on from! Then if the problem persists, a meeting!