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Original poster

Very short boyfriend

197 replies

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 13:45

My boyfriend is very short, really short, about 4 in shorter than me and I'm not exceptionally tall.

In every other way he is perfect for me and he loves me in a way that makes me feel secure like no one else ever has. His height doesn't bother me when we're alone together, but in public or with friends it is all a bit uncomfortable. He likes to show affection and will put an arm around my shoulders or hold my hand and it's all feels a bit awkward, because he can't reach or it feels like holding a child's hand. Even a quick peck is weird because he can't really reach.

Alone together on the sofa, or in bed it couldn't be better!

What's the solution?

OP posts:
BlushingBrightly · 28/04/2025 21:43

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 17:19

I didn't say he was too short, I said there are some things that feel awkward because of his height.

I'm completely smitten in a way I haven't been for 30 years. He's not unattractive to me at all, there are just some movements that feel a bit odd because it's not what I'm used to, and yes, I guess I'm wondering if we look odd together to others. (Which many here would think we do)

Show quote history

It seems daft to me to think of throwing this away because 'other people might think it looks odd' when he puts his arm around you. I've been dismayed by a lot of attitudes here but I really think your issue is not an insurmountable one @Uncomfotablyshort if he is more important to you than 'what other people think'. There are far worse problems to face in a relationship.

TheTigerWhoCameToBrunch · 29/04/2025 00:10

Lascivious · 28/04/2025 16:57

My son is 6’2 and his girlfriend 5’0. They look quite comical together.

So annoying when the spinners go for the man-sized men 🥴

TheTigerWhoCameToBrunch · 29/04/2025 00:13

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 13:45

My boyfriend is very short, really short, about 4 in shorter than me and I'm not exceptionally tall.

In every other way he is perfect for me and he loves me in a way that makes me feel secure like no one else ever has. His height doesn't bother me when we're alone together, but in public or with friends it is all a bit uncomfortable. He likes to show affection and will put an arm around my shoulders or hold my hand and it's all feels a bit awkward, because he can't reach or it feels like holding a child's hand. Even a quick peck is weird because he can't really reach.

Alone together on the sofa, or in bed it couldn't be better!

What's the solution?

If you’re 24, treat yourself to an upgrade.

If you’re 39, maybe think about settling.

I read a good book once, “Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb. Without it, I’d probably be single and childless 😱

Interested in this thread?

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Dating General relationships
HeyCooper · 29/04/2025 00:27

He sounds like a top bloke, my husband is similar size

HeyCooper · 29/04/2025 00:30

I think very tall women can also struggle with dating

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 29/04/2025 00:47

Sidebeforeself · 28/04/2025 15:37

Well what solutions has he suggested?

What solutions could he possibly suggest?

He can hardly stand in a bag of compost every night; or alternatively drop an anvil on to OP's head from the top of a very tall tree to make her shorter!

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 29/04/2025 00:52

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 14:36

Oh, interesting because you should hear him sing!

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Do you mean he has a high adult male voice, or does he actually sound like a child? And how does his singing voice compare with his speaking voice?

Are the two factors - the height and the voice - actually linked? Warwick Davis is obviously very much smaller than average, but he has a speaking voice that, if anything, is deeper than that of most men of average height.

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 29/04/2025 07:31

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 29/04/2025 00:52

Do you mean he has a high adult male voice, or does he actually sound like a child? And how does his singing voice compare with his speaking voice?

Are the two factors - the height and the voice - actually linked? Warwick Davis is obviously very much smaller than average, but he has a speaking voice that, if anything, is deeper than that of most men of average height.

Show quote history

No I mean he has the most beautiful , and powerful singing voice.

OP posts:
SilverButton · 29/04/2025 07:33

My dad is 5'3" and my mum is 5'7". They've been happily married for 56 years so I'm glad my mum didn't let this put her off!

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 29/04/2025 07:38

So he came over last night. I haven't been very well for the last couple of weeks, a cold that seems to be getting worse. To say I'm not on my best form would be an understatement.

He looked after me all evening then offered to stay. During the night I developed the most horrendous sinus headache, like nothing I've ever experienced. He held me, kissed the painful pits and stoked my hair until the painkillers took enough effect for me to sleep.

Then this morning, because I reallly do need to go to work, he's made tea while I showered, he's driven me to the station and told me he'll come and pick me up as soon as I can get away.

I'm not giving him up because it's sometimes a bit awkward in public, I'm going to throw myself into showing everyone how perfect we are together 🙂

OP posts:
Capricornandproud · 29/04/2025 07:46

He sounds like a keeper op, especially in bed 🤣 I would suggest that from here on just say you’d like to dial down the pda a bit. It could happen naturally as time goes on anyway. There’s no solution re another option as its uncomfortable/problematic when he has an arm around you etc. i find my partners lack of strong arm holding, hand holding, the way he sinks into his shirt instead of owning his space bloody annoying to the point I’m getting The Ick - and he’s taller than me 💁🏼‍♀️

Calliopespa · 29/04/2025 07:48

Uncomfotablyshort · 29/04/2025 07:38

So he came over last night. I haven't been very well for the last couple of weeks, a cold that seems to be getting worse. To say I'm not on my best form would be an understatement.

He looked after me all evening then offered to stay. During the night I developed the most horrendous sinus headache, like nothing I've ever experienced. He held me, kissed the painful pits and stoked my hair until the painkillers took enough effect for me to sleep.

Then this morning, because I reallly do need to go to work, he's made tea while I showered, he's driven me to the station and told me he'll come and pick me up as soon as I can get away.

I'm not giving him up because it's sometimes a bit awkward in public, I'm going to throw myself into showing everyone how perfect we are together 🙂

And actually op, it doesn’t even matter what they think.

Life is too long to be lived in a shop window.

SallyWD · 29/04/2025 07:58

Uncomfotablyshort · 29/04/2025 07:38

So he came over last night. I haven't been very well for the last couple of weeks, a cold that seems to be getting worse. To say I'm not on my best form would be an understatement.

He looked after me all evening then offered to stay. During the night I developed the most horrendous sinus headache, like nothing I've ever experienced. He held me, kissed the painful pits and stoked my hair until the painkillers took enough effect for me to sleep.

Then this morning, because I reallly do need to go to work, he's made tea while I showered, he's driven me to the station and told me he'll come and pick me up as soon as I can get away.

I'm not giving him up because it's sometimes a bit awkward in public, I'm going to throw myself into showing everyone how perfect we are together 🙂

I know several couples where the husband is significantly shorter. My best mate (a woman) is about 6 ft2 and her husband is 5 ft 5. I don't think anything of it. Some people are tall, some people are short. Big deal.
If you're happy, stick with him.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 29/04/2025 08:20

Uncomfotablyshort · 29/04/2025 07:31

No I mean he has the most beautiful , and powerful singing voice.

Show quote history

Ah, thanks, I completely misunderstood - I thought you were saying it was a negative thing rather than a thing of beauty!

Jewel1968 · 29/04/2025 08:34

4 inches isn't that much. I have a short male attractive friend. I think his wife is a lucky woman (and she is tall)!

I guess you need to focus on the positives when you feel awkward. Are you hyper conscious of what others think generally?

WinterFoxes · 29/04/2025 09:28

SilverButton · 29/04/2025 07:33

My dad is 5'3" and my mum is 5'7". They've been happily married for 56 years so I'm glad my mum didn't let this put her off!

Same with DH's parents. DH is over 6 ft - his mum's side of the family are very tall. But his dad is only 5'3 and one of the loveliest, leverest, most loyal men I've ever met. They were happily married for 60 years. She made the right choice.

JeremiahBullfrog · 29/04/2025 09:53

Lots of couples have a height difference the other way round and manage to cope with kissing etc. It's not an actual practical difficulty, it's just a sexist stereotype about who "should" be the bigger partner in a relationship. The idea that it must be the man who's the physically dominant one is kind of off when you think about it.

hairyunicorn · 29/04/2025 09:55

My exh was 5:7" I'm 5:9".
He used to call me his landmark 😂

Pyjamatimenow · 29/04/2025 10:00

I think it’s kind of an unwritten thing that you don’t date shorter. I’m tall and have ended up dating several guys that were shorter. I even married and divorced one. My second husband is 6ft 2. Seems to work better!

330ml · 29/04/2025 10:23

JeremiahBullfrog · 29/04/2025 09:53

Lots of couples have a height difference the other way round and manage to cope with kissing etc. It's not an actual practical difficulty, it's just a sexist stereotype about who "should" be the bigger partner in a relationship. The idea that it must be the man who's the physically dominant one is kind of off when you think about it.

I thought the same thing. DH is 10” taller than me and we manage perfectly well.

Somethingsnapped · 29/04/2025 14:13

I was glad to read your update, op. You said in an earlier post that he's fabulous, and you're smitten. It sounds like he is too. My advice would just be to fake it til you make it. Meaning... just pretend the slight awkwardness doesn't bother you, and probably pretty soon it'll stop bothering you for real. You'll just get totally used to it.

Also, it's a new relationship, so there's probably lots of outdoors touchy-feely stuff going on that may naturally just simmer down a little anyway, once you've been together a while.

I see plenty of couples with a height difference (woman taller) , and it never looks strange to me, unless it's about a foot difference. I bet it feels more awkward than it actually appears to other people.

CrotchetyQuaver · 29/04/2025 14:21

Vlodymyr Zelensky is only 5'5 and a bit and I think he's pretty hot. If he's great in every other way I'd try and overcome this self consciousness you have about his height when you're out in public, I'm not sure many would be secretly judging you for it anyway

Clawdy · 29/04/2025 14:24

My grandad was shorter than my gran. She said to my mum once : " Aye, all lads are the same size when you're lying next to them! "

MeetMyCat · 29/04/2025 14:25

No judgement from me OP, I was reading through this thread wondering if anyone had any wise words, but none have jumped out.

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