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Original poster

Very short boyfriend

197 replies

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 13:45

My boyfriend is very short, really short, about 4 in shorter than me and I'm not exceptionally tall.

In every other way he is perfect for me and he loves me in a way that makes me feel secure like no one else ever has. His height doesn't bother me when we're alone together, but in public or with friends it is all a bit uncomfortable. He likes to show affection and will put an arm around my shoulders or hold my hand and it's all feels a bit awkward, because he can't reach or it feels like holding a child's hand. Even a quick peck is weird because he can't really reach.

Alone together on the sofa, or in bed it couldn't be better!

What's the solution?

OP posts:
Zipperweather · 28/04/2025 13:47

Hmmm tricky one. Is he a stocky build or also quite thin? I feel like this is worse with a lean guy.

Alternatively you could just say you’re not into PDA?

If he’s your ideal man in other ways, just buy him those trainers with the spongey big soles.

Also what height are we talking here? My brother in law is 5ft 4, is he around this height?

Zipperweather · 28/04/2025 13:48

Only asking because with chunky trainers on he’s around 5ft 6 and I feel that’s a lot better?

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 13:49

He's athletic, not skinny.

He's usually in running shoes, do they do have thick soles.

He says he's 5'3, my guess would be 5'2 😆

OP posts:

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Dating General relationships
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 28/04/2025 13:55

Leave him and find someone you're comfortable with outside of the house

mindutopia · 28/04/2025 14:08

I can’t do short. I’m happy to be called shallow, that’s fine. I’ve dated a few short men and it was like always being the big daddy bear spoon to their little cub spoon. Bless him, one even had a really high pitched laugh that matched his small stature. I couldn’t. I am quite tall at 5’9. Thankfully, I went the other way. Dh is 6’5. It’s totally okay to not be into someone because you find an aspect of their physical appearance unattractive. Even if they are a nice person.

Lascivious · 28/04/2025 14:09

The solution is you either accept him as he is, or finish it and find someone taller.

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 14:10

mindutopia · 28/04/2025 14:08

I can’t do short. I’m happy to be called shallow, that’s fine. I’ve dated a few short men and it was like always being the big daddy bear spoon to their little cub spoon. Bless him, one even had a really high pitched laugh that matched his small stature. I couldn’t. I am quite tall at 5’9. Thankfully, I went the other way. Dh is 6’5. It’s totally okay to not be into someone because you find an aspect of their physical appearance unattractive. Even if they are a nice person.

I do find him very attractive, it's just this occasional awkwardness.

OP posts:
Zipperweather · 28/04/2025 14:11

Bruno Mars is 5ft 2 and he is hot but I get what you mean that he’s just very small, especially when he was singing on the Victoria Secret cat walk 🤣

Lascivious · 28/04/2025 14:11

I had no idea Bruno Mars is so short!

Kardamyli2 · 28/04/2025 14:13

It shouldn't matter, but I couldn't be with someone shorter than me so I don't know what the solution could be.

ConfessionsOfAChocoholic · 28/04/2025 14:14

How long have you been dating? Long enough to have hung out together with friends, so assuming you haven't just finished your first date?! I only ask because presumably he hasn't suddenly lost height and you were aware of his smaller stature from the outset.

However, you are free to break up with anyone for any reason.

WinterFoxes · 28/04/2025 14:15

Do you fancy him as well as really liking him?
If so, just learn to handle the public displays of affection ( if you are otherwise okay with them anyway) the same way tall men and short women do.
DS is very short. His girlfriend is 6ft. People stare. She teases him about it sometimes but they've been together ages and recently moved in together so clearly she doesn't mind and neither does he.

Kardamyli2 · 28/04/2025 14:15

Just read where you said 5'2". That is very short indeed for a man. Shallow and childish I know, but I'd find a taller partner.

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 14:17

ConfessionsOfAChocoholic · 28/04/2025 14:14

How long have you been dating? Long enough to have hung out together with friends, so assuming you haven't just finished your first date?! I only ask because presumably he hasn't suddenly lost height and you were aware of his smaller stature from the outset.

However, you are free to break up with anyone for any reason.

Yes we were friends before and the relationship grew organically. I don't think either of us would have seen the other as a potential "date" if we'd met for the first time in that context.

I don't want to break up with him, I want a way to make things more comfortable in public.

OP posts:
Sodthesystem · 28/04/2025 14:18

Assuming it's the height that bothers you and not the public display of affection?

I mean tbh...I think if you were really into him it wouldn't bother you.

Unless you feel he's going out of his way to treat you like a trophy when you're out... and it's annoying.

Tbh I've dated short men and had a sudden realisation one day that his hands were tiny and...pretty much had to end it because I couldn't unsee it. Maybe it's like that, like something just clicks and it's an ick. Bring around others just draws your attention to whatever it is maybe.

Original poster
Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 14:18

Sodthesystem · 28/04/2025 14:18

Assuming it's the height that bothers you and not the public display of affection?

I mean tbh...I think if you were really into him it wouldn't bother you.

Unless you feel he's going out of his way to treat you like a trophy when you're out... and it's annoying.

Tbh I've dated short men and had a sudden realisation one day that his hands were tiny and...pretty much had to end it because I couldn't unsee it. Maybe it's like that, like something just clicks and it's an ick. Bring around others just draws your attention to whatever it is maybe.

His hands are tiny, but he does use them well 🤣

OP posts:
Zipperweather · 28/04/2025 14:23

Just in, do you know Daniel Radcliffe is 5ft 4? 😲 now down a short men dating taller women rabbit hole.

Anyway I think just go with the ‘no PDA please line’

Thronglet · 28/04/2025 14:23

If you like him, I suppose it's shallow to consider his physical attributes more important than his personality.

But, I get you. I prefer tall men myself. I have dated short men before, but it's not my preference.

GeorgianaM · 28/04/2025 14:25

The only couple I know who have made it work are Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullem

www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/jamie-cullum-reveals-teased-height-16543787

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

SpikySausage · 28/04/2025 14:26

I went through a run of short men in my late 20s and early 30s. I'm 5.8. Tbh I'm glad DH is 5.10-11. One or two of mine were really short, but not as short as that. It did make me feel weird. Shouldn't have but did.

GeorgianaM · 28/04/2025 14:26

Tom Hardy is often raved about but I walked past him and he was around my height, he's short for a man.

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 28/04/2025 14:26

I’ve tried twice to not be so ‘shallow’ (my words about myself, not calling anyone else it!) and dated men who were around my height (I’m 5’2”)…and I had to admit that I was indeed that shallow and finished with them. I couldn’t stand having heels on and being taller, and my heels weren’t 4” stilettos, by any means. It felt like I was out with a little boy. I know I’m horrible but I just couldn’t do it 🤷🏼‍♀️ it didn’t really help that they were both completely in proportion so were pretty slender.

Nope.

GeorgianaM · 28/04/2025 14:27

I've just remembered Penny and Rod

www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1290782/Penny-Lancaster-taller-Rod-Stewart.html

Hoppinggreen · 28/04/2025 14:29

Uncomfotablyshort · 28/04/2025 14:17

Yes we were friends before and the relationship grew organically. I don't think either of us would have seen the other as a potential "date" if we'd met for the first time in that context.

I don't want to break up with him, I want a way to make things more comfortable in public.

Show quote history

You can't, he is the height he is and you either accept that or break up with him.
You are entitled to your feelings but height is not something that can be altered really

Catsandcannedbeans · 28/04/2025 14:32

The shortest I’ve ever gone was 5’7 but I got a deep deep ick when he lied and said he was 5’9. For me it wouldn’t be that he’s short, it’s that he lies about his height. If you’re embarrassed to be seen in public with him, I don’t know if that’s something you can get over. Has it got less over time? I don’t think something like that goes away.