Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

This has reminded me of a non-boyfriend ick.

Colleague at desk opposite picked her ear and ate whatever she dug out. It wasn’t even candid (thinking nobody is watching), it was WHILE in a full blown conversation with another colleague.

Utterly gross!

post divorce and I had stupidly moved in with someone else 5 months later - first time I saw him fill a form in ( early 90s) and realised he had the writing of a 6 year old and struggled too to fill it in or spell . I feel incredibly guilty admitting I had the ick about it as anyone can have problems with this but it was at odds with his Jack the lad confident persona and he had never mentioned it at all. He turned out to have hidden quite a lot about himself including an 18 month ban that had expired for drink driving, a chronic booze problem and a propensity to steal off me. Took 3 years to escape!!

The over shivers my god yes and adds an occasional whimper

Nipples. They’re looking for Radio 1.

Same. Same. Shocking.

The back of his head

An ex-colleague at work was very anti-men. She used to freak out if anyone moved her desk chair (she specifically used to position it so she could tell if it had moved) and used to ask who had been sitting on her chair?

One day, a male colleague was assisting her with a query and took control of her computer mouse. You could see the anger in her face. As soon as he'd moved away, she announced she was cleaning her desk and used anti-bac on the mouse and desk that he'd touched.

If a man borrowed a pen to make a quick note, she'd throw the pen in the bin.

I guess men in general were her ick!

Omg!

Mine does this weird, squinty thing with his eyes, like he can’t see. We even joke about it now when he’s getting a cold that his sight’s gonna go as well 🤣

Oh God I just remembered the minister ex touching my boobs above my top in front of people and he then told them he was tuning me in to Radio Tokyo.

Doesn't work!
Like height - I dated a 6'4"("& a half") guy, and I joked to my friends that I knew where the half inch was!

Why is it that some men think women like poems? Ex used to write out these excruciating poems like something from a cheap Hallmark card I don’t like poetry not even from actual real poets!!! I would cringe inside out when he presented them to me with a smug look on his face and I’d pretend they were great while squirming inside. He also had a light blue shiny waterproof jacket, while out a walk it started to rain and put the hood up and tied it under his chin looked like a bloody blue gnome that was the final straw haha

Oh I’ve just remembered another one and I know this makes me sound really shallow but it is funny and that’s what the OP was looking for…. Me and an ex in the mid 90s went to a music festival, I was in my late teens and he was a bit older, anyway he turned up with a really awful bag, like an old lady’s shopping bag, just awful and not even in an ‘ironic’ way, it was just really shit 🤣
oh yeah and he’d brought a packet of museli with him and a carton of uht milk. While me and the others we were with were drinking cider for breakfast and running around trying to get our hands on more drugs, soppy bollocks was eating his healthy breakfast like he was on holiday at Centre Parks. 🙈 I spent the whole weekend trying to avoid him, he was extremely embarrassing 😂. We broke up some time later thank god. Actually looking back he was 25 when I got together with him….and I was 17. That’s a whole other level of ick, even without the granny bag and the museli 🤢

You’ve just reminded me of another one… High School ‘prom’ although I’m not American or British so basically our final school dance. I got invited by a boy from another school to go as his partner to his end of year dance. I had mine on the Friday night and took my on and off again boyfriend. We had a wonderful time and only got to bed in the early hours of the morning. Had to then get all dressed up again for this other dance and while he was a decent enough guy during the dinner part of the evening, he arrived at the after party in a vest, shorts and flip flops ready to party the night away…. I ditched him and went to bed. I was too knackered from the night before to put up with that.

Feel bad to this day that he could invited someone a bit less fickle than me to his one and only high school dance.

What and I cannot stress this enough - the FUCK?!

I asked him what he was up to (text) and he said he was just having a boogie round the kitchen

I can’t explain the ick that ran through me, it just did.

I agree- I had a 6'3" boyfriend with a little worm-like willy. It reminded me of a little finger.

I know. . . Right.
Reader, I was not ok 😆
He wasn't even that great but I was obsessed with him and convinced myself it was ok.

My dh won't take painkillers etc for his fibro & arthritic knees as he has diverticulitis & worries about aggravating his stomach UNTIL he gets a sniffle then I have to buy bloody Boots out. Cold & flu tablets, tissues, vapour rub, throat sweets, numerous hot toddies. Irritates the shit out of me!

It is SO disappointing isn't it?
Mine was a tall bronzed boy-babe with a melting smile.
Then he revealed it and you know how your mind thinks of things in quick succession in micro-seconds - well I was thinking Do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I run away? Do I lie here and hope?
My bestie told me it was payback for the mega one I'd "stolen" from her. (I hadn't really - we'd just wanted the same guy once before.)

@SaraSunny people like that should not have cats for a start. Poor cats 😢

Probably time to stop pulling teenagers 😂

I’m with him on this one

Oh yes, they were lovely! A tiny but perfectly formed pair of little figure skates on a necklace, and matching drop skate earrings. Sterling silver. I was only 12. God knows what happened to them.

Can’t believe I forgot this one. My neighbour talks to lawnmower like he’s a cowboy at a rodeo. Constant shouts of “YEAH!” and “COME ON ATTABOY!” and “WHOA!”