Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

That really made me laugh! 😂

The same boyfriend who became religious (this has reminded me) used to randomly say 'cup of chai?' to me and I had NO idea what he was talking about. Until I saw something called chai in a market - but we didn't have any in the apartment so what was that about?!

He was also a bit of a recreational drug user and I used to cringe when we were in company and he would say to one of his friends 'skin up!?' Had no idea what that was either.

Imo that would have been a perfectly good reason to break up with him & yes I am that shallow 🤷🏻
Went on 2 blind dates years back. One wore white trainers with white socks & the other wore brown socks with brown shoes. Both unacceptable 🙄

We must think of more icks, that don't include boyfriends :)

Actually I have one. One of my work colleagues dries her hands on her cardigan after going to the loo. Not just brushing the water off, like she uses the bottom of her cardigan like a towel. It totally icks me out

This. ^ I remember a bloke I was dating (dated him for about 3-4 weeks in my very late teens, he was 2 years older. I hadn't shagged him, and never did!) The subject of periods came up when he and I and a crowd of other people were in the pub. He said to me 'I bet it turns you on when you stick your tampon up you eh......?!' and grinned at me like a dopey simpleton. Like >>>

I was like 'err no, not really.' He said' bet it makes you cum hard eh?' I was like 'no it fucking doesn't, and you must have a tiny cock if you think a woman is aroused by shoving her tampon in...! ' Then I walked off, and left the pub and found some other people I knew. Never contacted him again. He never contacted me either, thank God! 😆 Weirdo! Who on earth assumes inserting a tampon is a turn on?!

Oh, one more thing, I have had at least 3 men in the past assuming women have no feeling in their nipples. I have had blokes tweak and pinch them in the past, and then be really shocked when I've said 'OW! Fucking hell!' and shoved them away.

What a turn off. As has been said, some men are deeply unnattractive. Sometimes it can take a few weeks for you to catch on, but yep, some men are dreadful!

What colour socks are you supposed to wear with white? Everyone wears white where i am?

Was he a nurse?

Eventually with my ex husband because he had an orgasm noise like the sound of a mouse in cartoons 'eek, eek, eek, eek' ad nauseum. And to be honest he was a generous lover and mutual orgasms a plenty.

Post divorce a tryst with a man, several times, who had the largest testicles I've ever seen. Tried desperately to get over Buster Gonards, if you know, you know, and it didn't work. He was an interesting person. Just no.

Reading through these and having a right old chuckle..special mention goes to the reference to the guy with “child-bearing” hips.

What it has made me realise, though, is how fucking low my standards were in my late teens and twenties.

I’ve been trying to think of any of my own icks to add to the thread, but the reality is that they’re just examples of disgusting behaviour from some of the grotty bastards I was unfortunate enough to spend time with. Stuff I would NEVER tolerate these days.

Some examples (apologies in advance for the 🤢, especially around tea time)

1. an ex who left a giant skid mark on the (fresh!) duvet, once hid a gigantic bogey under the pillow in a hotel and only fessed up to it being his when I said I was going to complain. He also never cleaned the bathroom once in the whole relationship; I tried it all, even going on strike but it just meant I had to bathe in filth and I just couldn’t do it. Dirty bastard behaviour. I actually had the ick from day one with this one, as he kissed my housemate’s cat on its head on first meeting and I found it a bit odd…four years, he lasted, and it was he who dumped ME!

2. an ex who I dated when I was 18 and he was about 25…he had these massive bucked teeth which wouldn’t have been a major issue were if not for the yellow gunk that collected on them…one morning at mine he had clearly wiped said gunk onto the sleeve of his sweater, it was disgusting. Same guy, was house-sitting for friends and asked me to spend the night…sleeping in the master room and he hadn’t bothered changing his mates’ sheets (and neither had they before he moved in for the week) and there was dirty underwear in the bed, including a crusty thong belonging to his friend’s wife 🤢 I can guarantee he hadn’t been entertaining anyone. When we first met and just used to chat as friends he said he was sure he would meet someone soon as “girls like a man with a car”. He owned an ancient, shitty Polo. That made me cringe at the time so how it progressed, I will never know! Major ick was unlocked when he drove us into a multi-storey car park and couldn’t find the bite on a fairly steep ramp. He was sweating and shaking. Thankfully was a fairly short-lived dalliance.

3. got chatting to a guy on OLD, wasn’t really after anything serious but he invited me over one evening for a cup of tea (his small child was asleep upstairs so there was no way I would’ve stayed). Anyway, his ex was out on a night out and she had form for popping to his…he had reason to believe she would head over so asked me if I could “just go and wait in the car for a bit” once he had established if she was indeed going to make an appearance. Of course I said nah you’re alright and just headed home, but a few nights later I stupidly let him come to mine…the sight of his arse once we’d done the deed made me want to stop living. Droopy with zero flesh, like an old man’s arse. Luckily I was heading to Spain that week so was able to just ghost the bugger. Not before he had text me to “check my bra size” as he had “only ever slept with DD+ and didn’t want to break the streak”
   Get to fuck, flat-arse

4. another OLD…he was actually a really nice guy, didn’t particularly fancy him but I’ve always felt that if banter and chat is good, things can progress and a person can become attractive. We set a date in a pub and a few days before we had a chat on the phone…his voice was quite odd, the only way to describe it was that he sounded deaf, without being deaf. I’m not proud of how unkind that sounds, but it didn’t especially light my fire. Anyway, we met up and over the date he referred to himself as “a handsome chap” which gave me the massive ick, especially in that voice. I then got text after text following the date, fishing for info on whether or not I fancied him, which I didn’t. I eventually did the decent thing and said I hadn’t felt the spark, and to be fair he was really nice about it. A good learning experience that one…just be honest!

There are many, MANY more I could add but the more I type, the more embarrassed I feel that I accepted any of this shit. I’m no beauty queen and I’m sure I have flaws in abundance, but I do feel annoyed at myself that I stayed around following some of the outright disgusting behaviours. Some men are just vile.

This has been mega cathartic though! 😁

My ex H I didn't notice at first because he always had a leather jacket with big shoulders on but he had really small shoulders and arms and a big fat bum like a woman and big legs. It gradually got to me over the years as did his narcissistic behaviour.
Now whenever I see him all I see is a mean minded T Rex.

We were on a train and he rested his head on my shoulder

Shuddering just thinking about it

I also hate long nails on a man 😂

I work with a walking, talking ick. Everything about the woman makes me cringe, from her hair, to her bibbidy-bobbidy walk, to the way she pouts, and the girly sing-song voice she uses with EVERYONE. The biggest ick is that she tries to give off a Snow White persona, but is actually proving to be really mean and quite sly. She’s on a temp contract and is willing to trample on anyone to get that bugger made permanent! She really reminds me of Dolores Umbridge from HP…pretends to be pink and fluffy (which would be ick on its own) but is actually very unkind underneath it all. She’s also a close talker with extremely bad breath. Bogging.

@WileyCyrus Thanks - I'm glad I'm not the only one squirming at some of the stuff I put up with in the past: skid marks on the sheets, farting on my leg, food debris after flossing spattered over the washbasin, wearing socks and shoes with shorts... So glad I'm single now and intend to stay that way!

Tbh I just don't like white trainers & I know that I'm very much in the minority 🤷🏻

I’m finding this thread so therapeutic. Also quite astonished at the amount of people who appear to have been seeing my exes at one point or another…..

When I split from exH my first date was with a guy who’d lied about his age by ten years - wouldn’t have bothered me. But what did bother me was he’d said he had one daughter. He actually had six kids to three different women. I was a bit shocked and he only confessed on second date (after I’d met DD in passing). He pretty much asked me to move in on second date and started working out finances. Massive ick. And shock - all the shock 👀

The pp whose boyfriend wiped his manky teeth on his sleeve made my stomach turn 🤮🤮

“Come for me sexy momma”. I left.

I can confirm it was as foul as it sounds 🤢

Non ex but I worked with a woman who would walk around with a pair of nail clippers and cut her nails in the tea room in front of us. Standing up and moving sometimes while doing it.

I've thought of another one. Fooling around with my ex and pulled down his shorts, you know the ones with the net inside to cup balls etc. Only to find he'd stuck his finger up his arse through the shorts and left a chocolate starfish stain on the net/mesh. Instant boak. Also told me once not to panic as he'd come home with no boxers, he'd shit himself and left the pants in the works toilets. I knew this was true as there was shite down the leg of his work trousers. He didn't have ibs he was just a clarty bastard and I wasted too much time on him and he's the reason I'm now single.

A friend of mine once found a false nail in the communal biscuit tin at work 😂

Staying with me and he’d not brought a change of socks and had awful foot odour, so while I was in bathroom had rifled through my drawers and put a pair of mine (lace ones) in his smelly trotters. He’d also put his trainers ON MY BED. I went mental. He was mental and walked out and never came back. And as I realised he did actually have some MH issues, I looked up his mum in the phone book whom I’d never met and phoned her!

I worked with a woman who had a skin condition. She used to sit in the staffroom and pick flakes off and drop them on the carpet for the whole hour. By the end there would be a semi circle of flakes around her feet ( like when a buzzard plucks the feathers off a pigeon). I stopped going in there in the end because it made me heave whilst I was trying to eat my lunch. The flakes would stay there until the cleaners hoovered in the evening. Revolting