Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

@RosaMoline im not sure but it’s as if they want to intimidate you on some level

Interesting theory!

@RosaMoline like some big old grizzly bear in the woods shitting everywhere and proud of it as if they are saying ‘get a load of that’

I’m not a psychologist - I’m not even brainy ! it just puts me in mind of male animals spreading their scent about to show they are ‘in charge’

I went on a couple of dates with an Ian that I’d been talking too online - told me he was a policeman - found out later he worked at Carphone warehouse 😂

@MrsMe1978 to be fair that is probably a lot better that being a police officer ?

With one particular ex boyfriend there were so many ick moments but one stand out one was eating a kebab in bed after a night out. The smell was revolting and he wiped his hands all over the pillows. Caused a major argument that I then refused to sleep in the bed.

Does her name begin with A? If not there are two of them. 😮

Or Ratners 😂

From Ipswich?

He kept ending the phone call with "peace". Not a hippy dude at all, I'm not sure where this would come from but I would cringe every time 🥴

Quite possibly 😂 but considering the chat room we ‘met’ in was for “Men in Uniform, and Women who like them” Although to be fair, that in itself sounds incredibly cringey now 😳😂

Me too 🤣🤣

@MrsMe1978 haha yes maybe he was ‘security’ 🤣

Was he a surgeon 😷

Has to be. Tbf, I've been to Anfield and whilst it's not bad, it doesn't touch Celtic Park. Took a red supporter up for a Glasgow Derby and it blew her out her boots.

😢😭😭😭😭😭

One guy who always ordered most expensive drinks on my round & cheapest thing/soft drink in his. Tight as. Would expect to go halves ona meal (fair enough in general, but not in a pub lunch where i had a bowl of soup & he had a full roast with sides). I was earning about 1/3 what he earnt!

banged on angrily about ex-wife, too.

Tbf, thats not so much funny as ‘sheesh, dump him’!

broke up with someone as he kept his phone in a case attached to his belt.

got the ick from someone else, who kept calling me a pet nickname he invented for me that just sounded stupid

Almost got the ick from my partner because when we met he had a rat tail on the back of his hair. He asked what I thought and I pulled a face and said “I like that you express yourself”. Next day, he came into work and it was gone. He now told me he actually cut it off as soon as he got home. My children exists because he cut that thing off.

Before him (like literally the day before we met for the first time) I went on a first date with a guy who ran away from a bumble bee. Asked if he was allergic and he said no the fur freaks him out.

I forgot about the bloke who took me on a date

There we where,stood on Scarboroughs sea front,when he said he was hungry (so was i)

We stopped at this burger stall and he ordered a burger

Just the one and stood and chomped it down,jaw swinging and ketchup and grease dribbling down his chin

I have never had a problem paying my way,it was the way he pushed me to one side to get his burger first and then the way he ate it

I finished it as soon as we got home

He hit the roof that I dared to finish it first as he'd wanted a shag first before dumping me

WHAT A CATCH.

Eating like a pig is a massive no.

Yes totally hideous but they think it’s posh :)

I met a famous sportsman at an event when I was a student and he came back to my flat. The hallway had one of those ribbed, really rough carpets and he took his shoes off and started wiping his bare feet on the carpet really ferociously and said 'ahhh that feel so good on my athletes foot' I looked down and his feet were all flakey, I nearly vomited. I made an excuse for him to leave asap. My flatmates heard him say it and never let me live it down.

He was drop dead gorgeous, but he wouldn't use deodorant and his armpits stank 🤑

Ooft yeah, the derby makes any English ground look like a morgue.

You must be a Celtic fan yourself, calling it the Glasgow Derby and not the OF. 👏