Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

Like others have asked...
A) show us the portrait?
B) can I have his number?

Oh God I had a terrible Ian. Well I thought he was hot and he dumped me after I slept with him for the first time, broke my heart. Then met him again just before Covid. I hate the insulting term gammon, but I immediately knew what it is meant to mean when I saw him. He found me on Instagram and sent rude messages and sent videos of himself wanking to another woman. And he is now married with kids. What a lucky escape I had. It's not this one is it @JojoM1981? He's not from Rotherham is he?

Not me but someone I worked with years ago

She said the crack in his arse was a weird shape, “Like a mild lightning strike”

No not Rotherham. Berkshire.

I read on a similar thread before about a man who turned up in cowboy boots on the first date and also brought along some laundry and asked the woman to do his washing.

My friend had a man who turned up in clogs for a first date. I think it was the last one too.

Oh Christ there are two of them then. Actually this one didn't dump me he just ghosted me. I thought he looked like Rob Lowe at the time now he looks like Bernard Manning. Like I said lucky escape.

Of course - about 99% of the stuff mentioned on this thread wouldn’t matter if you REALLY liked the person.

Apart from that guy with the gold star wardrobe stickers. There’s no way back from that even if the love is pure and true 😂

Icks from dating in my early 20s:

The one with the unusually small mouth.
The one who spelt hazel, hazle.
The one who ordered me a prawn korma (I'm a jalfrezi/vindaloo girl, how did he not know that). He then picked up his guitar and started singing for (at) me. I did not know what to do. Was still fuming from the korma. He also shagged like a monkey and tried (once) to tell me what to wear. Goodbye.

I met the boy who I had my first kiss at 13 with in a local pub one night. Got on like a house on fire, arranged a date the next day. He was 6'4, dark, handsome, intelligent. Couldn't believe my luck. We went for a long walk around the local countryside. He farted on every step he took, the further into the walk the longer the farts became. They were wet and rumbly... I have never lost interest so quickly! Got home, managed a peck on the cheek and legged it inside, alone. Never saw him again!

All very outing, thank God for name changes.

I was ghosted too. He made me buy him loads of vinyl first,of course. Little shrimp dick 🤢😞

He always had a dry bogey just showing. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

He wrote a really twee poem about how lovely I was.

Been there. There was a boy with a broken tooth who I thought was beyond gorgeous but also looked a bit rough with his tooth and then he had it fixed... And somehow he just looked a bit smarmy after that. I mean I'd only admired him from afar so he probably didn't notice my ick but I felt it all the same...

Then there was a lovely man in my 20s who liked me, but he had a boil on the side of his neck when we met and I just couldn't get past it. He ended up with a friend of mine though so we became friends anyway and what a lovely guy... I can still picture his neck that day though 😱

This happened to me once - I was walking through London and he had a huge bogey hanging out of his nose. I was just wondering how to say something without mortifying him when we bumped into (I am not making this up) Brett out of Suede, who he knew because they were both musicians. Pleasantries were exchanged and Brett cheerily said, 'You've got a massive bogey, mate.'

That was the end of things as far as I was concerned.

30 minutes into meeting (POF date) he was trying to hold my hand and inviting me to be his plus one at his best friend’s wedding the following weekend.

By the end of the date - which I gave another half hour to, because I was young and polite - he’d said he was falling for me 🤢

I’m ashamed to say, it was a block and ghost - the only time I ever have, but he was a creepy motherfucker.

Friend told me she went off her chap as his nose looked like a penis.

I went out with someone who was perfectly well spoken and didn't have a speech impediment but pronounced every 'th' as a v for some reason!

the next day, after we'd done the deed, i noticed a to-do list on a small whiteboard on his wall-

amongst the normal work stuff, it said 'get a dog' (who needs that on a list to remember to do 😂) and 'act cool and mysterious at all times'

he kept trying to kiss me when I was saying goodbye and i was gagging.

i couldn't go back after that.

My mum once told me about a guy who turned up for a date with her wearing a top hat. She made her excused and left !

As a teenager, I dated a guy (for way too long) who kept serenading me with crappy love songs in public, bought me the Backstreet Boys song "All I Have to Give" on a CD so it could be our song (I mean it wasn't even a good Backstreet Boys song) and kept writing me really cringy poetry - I remember the phrase "every time that we touch, every time that we kiss" in it. What makes it worse is that my father found it and my family is very dog eat dog with the mockery and piss taking - god they had such good material for years after with that one ! He was also referred to as "the Pillow" because the last person to sit on him (metaphorically) left the biggest impression and he was always trying to emulate someone else. Oh, and to add insult to injury he bought me some earrings (which was very sweet) but my god they were hideous - like a large silver star stud type of thing with a giant pointy bullet type thing just hanging from them. I tried to be grateful but they were just awful.

OMG I HATE farts. Hate them - so offputting.

I think (sorry I know) the most ick thing for me was one of my ex's used to spit on me from behind so it would land at the entrance to my bum. Absolutely hated it but was always afraid to say anything.

Unfortunately this is absolutely true. This guy had form for being a bit ‘off-the-wall’. Kind of his schtick. Initially I found it funny and intriguing, but eventually it turned out he was also very very gross.

Luckily went on to marry a man with impeccable personal hygiene! 😂

Online dating. turned up to the date wearing scruffy, crumpled clothes. Around his neck on a strap he had what looked like, to me, a bog standard old fashioned camera. Proceeded to go on and on about how special this camera was. He had obviously worn it because he thought I would be impressed - he certainly didn't take any photos. Then, when I didn't look impressed enough, he told me that, on the way to our date, a mugger had tried to steal said camera from around his neck, but matey had managed to fight him off. What a load of shit. Next!
edited to add: he was easily a decade older than he had said on his profile, and he said he wanted to 'protect' me. From what??

I was an English teacher at the time and when he found that out, he told me that he was a poet and had recently had some of his poetry included in a book that was about to be published. I was quite impressed until it turned out to be one of those 'anthologies' that you pay to be included in. And the 'poem' was cringeworthy - really awful!

Long nails, yuck defo gave me the ick

He was hugely into VW bugs and restoring them. I listened to him talk about them endlessly for hours while trying to sound interested. He never asked me about my hobbies/interests.

One day he said "what you have to understand is the way I'm obsessed with VW's is the way you're obsessed with shoes".

I wasn't obsessed with shoes. I'd never talked about shoes. I had hobbies and interests!! None of which involved shoes.

I've said this one before on here but when I was much younger I dumped a bloke for being called Bruce.