Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

I never got as far as meeting this one (for good reason) but we were chatting online and we seemed to have quite a bit in common until he asked me if I liked ‘water sports’ and he didn’t mean ones that involved things like a canoe or a wet suit…..

One had a knob like a kebab (pita included) Another with a tiny cock and his spunk stank to high heaven, no amount of me shoving fruit into his mouth changed that and as his surname was Hay he called his sperm haymonaise absolutely revolting. Younger years gorgeous sweet guy turned up in a polyester arran knit william wallace style jumper, I couldn't even get out of my car to be seen with him.

Not all the same bloke:

• walked on tiptoes and had a very high-pitched laugh (more fool me, he was actually lovely and is now wealthy and semi-famous)
• had the hairiest nostrils I've ever seen. He was a lot taller than me and I could see them whenever I looked up at him. They were unbelievably dark and thick and stuck out of his nose
• another incredibly sweaty shagger (there's a lot of them about, clearly)
• sent me a letter declaring his undying love, complete with actual smudgy tearstains, and biro drawings of me and him, including big teardrops on his face to represent his emotion at not being with me. Plus his drawing of me looked like Rod Stewart.

I had one that did this too 😂

He also once put his dirty socks on my kitchen worktop…

Three years of lusting, finally got down to it just as uni was ending, clothes coming off…and he had a dirty inside collar on his shirt. Instant halt.

Nice looking guy I met I a bar - things going okay until he proudly announced he had his cock pierced and had a gold ring through the end of it😲.... couldn't get out of there quickly enough!!

I wonder if this was me?! Early 2000s? I still have it somewhere, must rake it out. 😆

How very odd!
I am really quite intrigued (and feeling slightly queasy) by the thought of such a limited diet.
Not surprised you got the ick. You’d never be able to eat out and what about Christmas dinner?!?!

Fake copies of Nike/Adidas shipped over from China.

I’ve read the whole thread as I find the ick thing really interesting. Some of these are terrible and I’ve experienced some of them. The food crumbs being passed from his mouth into mine is one I think about a lot, I had a teenage boyfriend who did this and there was no going back. My mum was really pissed off when I tried to explain i was dumping him as I had just gone off him, I couldn’t explain to her exactly why!

Does anyone else think it’s possible to feel the ick over something with one person and not get the ick over the same thing when someone else does it? An example - I got the ick from a guy calling me “baby.” Shudder. Just felt so creepy and Americanised and try hard. When I heard it on tv or films I would hate it too. But when my husband calls me baby, I melt.

Also, nodded along with most people icks, but the sweaty sex one… this happened to me when I first got together with my now husband and again, loved it 😳 Not sure how I’d have felt if it happened with someone else? Maybe one person’s ick can be another person’s turn on!

I was once seeing a guy that used to pull this face, like one arched eyebrow like The Rock and kind of pout at the same time. He thought it made him look really cool but he looked like such a knob. I’m cringing writing this

A friend kept saying 'I'm going twerk' instead of 'to work' . Put me right off them .

Worse yet - he was ‘in a band’ and absolutely awful 😂

Sweaty hands. 🤮

”come to my place, I’ll cook”
code for “and then ravish you”, right?

Findis crispy pancakes and peas from a tin.

there was no ravishing.

He was very picky about how his books were displayed on his coffee table. I'd push them very slightly out of alignment when he'd leave the room. He'd come back in and tut loudly as he spent the next five minutes getting them "just right".

I ended it after he turned up to a date wearing very tight black leather trousers with matching jacket. He was extremely well endowed and the trousers were tight enough to show every vein. Fair enough if he'd been a Jim Morrison type of guy, but he was much more Gareth from The Office.

Just no.

Dated a guy called Ian(no joke. I wish it was). Was obviously a virgin. Had a really small willy. Used to, during sex repeat "what's my name"? Qué me trying to say Ian sexily. I was 18 FFS 🙄 😆 Hardly a sexy name is it🤣He also used to put "Move any mountain" by The shamen on and dance in front of me for the whole song 😬😬😬 I still cringe almost 35 years later and if I hear the song,I swear it triggers some sort of PTSE 😬😬😬

Another, during a snog would put his chewing gum in my mouth. He said is was sexy 😬🤢

Went on a date with guy from a dating website many many years ago, before meeting current DP.

Didn’t get off to the greatest start when I realised he’d lied about his height and that the pictures he’d used, were clearly old ones and he didn’t quite look like that now.

But I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and thought I’d try and give him a fair shot.

Everytime he talked however, his nostrils flared.

I couldn’t focus on what he was saying because his nostrils were flaring all over the shop.

I was only about 15 and had just started dating a guy who I met via a colleague at my Saturday job at Woolworths. On our second date he turned up wearing what I can only assume were his grandad's jumper and shoes.

After a quick drink, he then took me to meet his Mum and older sister (who was probably about 24 or 25). He left me sitting in the lounge with them whilst they both smiled at me expectantly for about 5 minutes without saying a word. I think they expected me, a fifteen year old, to carry the conversation. It was excruciatingly awkward. Needless to say, when he returned from whatever it was that he'd been doing, I 'remembered' that I needed to get home early.

I met him again a few years later when I was working the bar one Saturday at an events venue. He ordered his drink and then immediately said, "I'm married now, Teach". As if he expected me to be kicking myself for letting such a prize slip through my fingers...

Do you also tuck tissues up your sleeve? Because I just remembered that she did that too, which put the final nail in the coffin of ick.

A few over the years
When i was 17, 1st boyfriend who was at uni had a weird smell about him, clothes etc. I wemt to visit him and the flat stank. He told me a rat had died under their bath and none of them wanted to move it
He also referred to himself as the big cheese knob.

Another spat on my vagina before oral. Also farted and made a kinda weird horse noise while giving oral. It was like he couldn't breath.
Awful fucking kisser. Like an extra wet tongue, he didnt swallow his spit so it ended up on my chin.
High pitched voice
Small hands
Long nails
Stupid laugh
Referring to me as his significant other ( we were married) and he thought it was funny but only he got the joke
Making a weird squint face when writing. It looked like he was having a stroke.
Wearing jeans which were way too tight, hello 1980s!

Feel like I know the tippy toe high-pitch laugh man - please send clues?

That would make him my dream guy.

One 'fling' with a micropene obviously knew that full sex wasn't going to happen, so asked if I would use my hands instead. Hands? My tiny thumb and forefinger engulfed his appendage 😬

Oh God, I’ve remembered more:

The guy with long thin feet who only ever worse Converse, which only served to make his feet look even more spindly. It made me think of some sort of Dr Seuss character (and Dr Seuss is a whole heap of ick anyway).

The one who took me back to his house for sex, then decided he needed a snack first. He properly showed off about his amazing trick for budget garlic bread: toast a bit of crappy white sliced bread, spread it with margarine, then liberally spread crushed garlic out of a tube on top. Not only did he just look like a tightarse, I felt he was gross eating so much garlic before kissing me, and he didn’t even offer me any (not that I wouldn’t have eaten it). I made my excuses.

the woman I went on a date with who was wearing a denim dress that was at least one size too small for her, possibly two. It was straining so much at the buttons that I could see her entire bra. She referred to how small and dainty she was several times and that she was a size 10. She was neither. (To be clear, I didn’t care about her body size at all - my ideal woman is probably around a 12-14 actually, it was the ill fitting clothes that icked me out)

the guy wearing a fleece that was at least 40% cat hair.