1 in 10 women murdered by a man are murdered by their son! And this is an increasing trend!

[nextdoorsgerbil]

Bloody hell!

This shocked me. (was just on the news).

Why? And why is this an increasing trend?

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I have a 27 year old boy with schizophrenia. Two loving parents, lots of extended family who care about him. He got ill at university and has been sectioned 3 times. His current section has been two and a half years. I can absolutely see how he could kill me.

If we point to poor mental health as the cause that still raises questions: why do so many men have poor mental health and why so many then turn to violence. It’s not simply that they are exposed to violence: women and girls are being exposed to this violence, as we see here. Personally I’ve known more girls with poor mental health than men, usually caused by male violence: they spiral into depression.

Men are simply violent creatures, and it needs recognising that they are a problem for society.

I’m so sorry for those mothers who are fearing their own child. They should not be just abandoned but I don’t know what the answer is.

Sadly I can believe this. I see so many Autisic boys who are regularly violent towards their mothers and younger siblings. There is rarely a biological father on the scene.

Absolutely this. The types who sit gaming and smoking weed all day and have nobody in their life bar their mother, who sticks around out of female maternal duty. She’s the only person in their sphere and so the only choice of victim.

This won’t be popular but I believe it’s because they’re not forced to do anything. If they sit in their pants gaming and ordering takeaways, their parents will enable it ‘because of mental health’ and UC will take care of the costs.

There’s a reason these types didn’t exist 70 years ago, because parents wouldn’t stand for it and it was work or starve. Plus no screens. Amazing what people are capable of when they’re no longer being enabled and have to fight for their own survival.

Victim blaming much?

I am not surprised as most harm of any kind is by someone known to the victim. I wonder what the equivalent figure is for men who are murdered by their sons, though acknowledge the number of boys/men who do not live with a father or stepfather.

My son is autistic and violent, his father lives with us, there is no domestic violence in the home other than ds

I am sorry to hear about your son, I am guessing that having his father there helps you manage his outbursts and therefore reduce the chances of any one getting seriously hurt ( or worse)

Yes but we both work so we’re not both here all the time. We got staggered work times due to having to be around for Ds

Sad to see other mums of autistic children convinced that one day they will kill them, but also amazed I'm not alone.

@Neurodiversitydoctor we are the same, father lives with us, but like many parents in this situation I've had to give up work so my Husband works silly hours and I'm mostly dealing with things alone.

There are frequent threads on here about autistic or 'depressed' sons in their late teens or twenties terrorising their mothers and younger siblings. The usual apologists appear bleating that the poor six foot lambs are just dysregulated and can't help themselves even though strangely these poor helpless abusers rarely attack other 6 foot men.

I'm done with it. It's bullshit. As a society we need to collectively say enough is enough. No more apologists for male violence against women and children. Proper support is needed for families in difficulty and this needs to include properly funded residential care to remove violent sons to protect the family left at home.

Some are neither depressed nor have learning difficulties, they're just angry, entitled and porn or drug addled. Lock them up and throw away the key if necessary. My compassion for these beasts is exhausted. Ditto those making endless excuses for them.

My thoughts entirely. Sick of society being held to ransom by violent, drug addled or intimidating men. I don’t care what happens to them, they’re not vulnerable, I care about their victims.

That is really shocking and I can't really remember hearing about any cases where it happened. I wonder whether those women are living with the child's father, with another man, or on their own.

Autistic sons, not children. Autistic daughters aren't putting their mothers in graves. The problem is men thinking that violence is OK.

Could you go back to work and your DH deal with your violent son? I suspect that your son would be less-inclined to hit his father...

This does not surprise me at all.

My brother with severe MH issues has a fucked up co dependency relationship with our mother. He is not allowed to live with her any more thank goodness (he's in supported accommodation- someone makes sure he takes his meds etc) as we were told repeatedly that when (not if) he killed himself he would kill her first as he sees them as linked.

He's got as far as waving a knife at her several times (police very good when called) but as he's built like a brick shit house & she's 5foot nothing if he ever decided to kill her it wouldn't help that she hides the knives 🤷‍♀️

years of violence & threats without any help for my mother until she was so ill during chemo that the system finally swung into action- cancer saved my mother's life.

My DF asked me to kill him in his early stages of dementia. I didnt, obviously (he would've been able to do it himself, for a start, and changed his mind later). How many sons give an extra strong dose of morphine to their ailing mother, and get caught?

My son is an an autism school and there are girls that are violent as well. The difference is that generally girls tend to me smaller as they get older so are less likely to do as much damage

Agree with what @Readytoevolve posted.

My mother was, and still is an absolute horror, never hesitated to lift her hands to me or stand and scream in my face from inches away. It only stopped once I grew bigger than her, threatened to thump her back, then finally one day actually did thump her around the earhole after she'd done the same to me.

I fantasised many, many times about doing her in, so I can totally understand why, in a few cases, the mothers being murdered by their sons will be horrific human beings. That's not to say that anyone actually deserves being killed, only that it will not always be a case of a saintly woman being murdered by a callous, evil son.

Terribly worrying that it is increasing.
What are the changes in society?
Is there a greater prevalence within certain cultures?
I am always apalled by the family violence towards women in India and in places where there is Sharia Law.
Could the increase be due to cultural increases?

Mental illness has increased for young people since Covid.
Could the increase in mental illness be a factor? It is so hard to get help and mothers are often trusting and offer care in their homes. Their kids are living at home until thirty and great lumps of muscle.

Frustration is rife amongst the younger generation. Angry young men having to live at home maybe.
Crazy druggos maybe. Are they affected by alcohol and drugs, statistically?

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your son.

I strongly disagree with the view courts take that it is better for children to be in contact with both parents. In some cases, such as yours, it so clearly isn’t. I really wish courts and SS would wake up to this.

@selffellatingouroborosofhate no, we wouldn't survive financially. He is not less inclined to hit his father. You speak as though he's in control of himself when he's in crisis. Thats not how autism works, unfortunately.