1 in 10 women murdered by a man are murdered by their son! And this is an increasing trend!

[nextdoorsgerbil]

Bloody hell!

This shocked me. (was just on the news).

Why? And why is this an increasing trend?

Happy to be child free, happy to be single in the future, due to circumstances.

Someone from my school killed his mother, he has severe mental health issues, believe he was schizophrenic. I think it’s mainly that males can inflict catastrophic damage on females. I imagine there are young women at home with mothers who are also a danger to them but with not nearly as awful results as a young male in full rage. Either way it’s incredibly sad and horrifying.

Just seen this was femicide not matricide.

Glad you contributed. So some mothers deserve to be murdered.

nobody deserves to be murdered. I had a very very tough childhood.

How many men kill their sisters ?

I actually imagined the opposite, that boys grow up seeing their mum controlled and abused by dad and learn to copy. That's very common too

The most common scenario I've seen is a mix of both.

Child gets just old enough to witness abusive behaviour from dad. Dad moves out. He leaves shoes to fill.

When are you referring to, and do you have personal experience of this?

I'm in my mid-30s. My mum was sectioned on and off for the whole of my childhood.... it was anything but "put away for her own safety". She was frequently released, and then sectioned again after attacking her children with knives, or threatening to drive her baby into a river, or whatever.

I'm not sure it's true that people have been sectioned long-term for their safety or anyone elses' here for a considerable amount of time; unless they've committed an atrocious crime and are therefore held because the alternative is prison, and their liberty is already being deprived.

This headline chilled me because it made me think of a good friend who is a single parent by choice to a boy with complex learning difficulties (no diagnosis as yet). She is committed to therapeutic parenting for him, and he’s coping ok at school etc, but the total disrespect and low level child-to-parent violence she lives with terrifies me. He is already as tall as her at 11, and their dynamic is hard to be around. She’s doing an incredible job, but I’m scared at the lessons he’s learning about basic decency to the woman you live with.

This poster literally said ' Naturally, I hope this never happens.'

Omg what was this about 70000 men?!

That’s EXACTLY what happened here.
The dad buggered off when it was plain his son had issues.
LBC radio just now had a female presenter taking calls from mothers at their wits end with violence- one mum at least still had a husband with her- but she’s had black eyes and broken bones.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2024/12/19/telegram-rape-chat-groups-germany-investigation-70000-world/

https://www.yahoo.com/news/telegram-rape-chat-groups-70-142422399.html

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/telegram-groups-70000-men-share-disturbing-rape-tutorials-victim-footage-1729957

I’ve had trouble with my son lately. The trouble is that not all families have the same boundaries and he’s telling the truth when he says his other friends have no set bedtimes, they’re allowed to watch porn and all sorts of other inappropriate stuff. That they can do what they want. I haven’t found another family that shares our values, unless they’re parents of girls. Make of that what you will.

I have to admint I wondered if it was this - seen my Dmum have to push against sudden entitlement in brother in widowhood - she can and he does back down but it's a thing I wasn't expecting.

The 2,000 Women report by the Femicide Census, seen by the Guardian, shows that mental ill health was a factor in 58% of matricide cases

Though I can also belive that also. IL have friends who DS now 50s had mental illness and addiction problems - and his mother was at times terrified yet so many people including at one point IL insisted as a parents she needed to open her home to him when ever. Him attacking her and putting her in A&E was never enough to get him sectioned apparently -it was usually the public calling police that did that. He is now stable and living with a partner not with parents.

Sadly, as a mother to an increasingly violent young son, I can well see how this happens.

My son is 7 and has experienced trauma in the care of his father, as have I. We left when he was 3, but despite a mammoth legal fight through the family courts, I am ordered to send him back to his Dad every other weekend. Anything I can do to therapeutically support him is undone each weekend.

Dad is a wealthy, middle aged man, in a highly paid, responsible job. He is coercive and covert in all that he does, always just below the threshold of the law. Our son fawns and masks with him.

The family court and most social workers are woefully under informed about this type of abuse and so it persists and escalates despite their brief interventions.

The emotional abuse my son suffers has resulted in his permanent exclusion from school, he expresses all that happens to him by verbally and physically attcking those around him, previously myself, friends and teachers, but now just me, we have no village anymore, we are totally isolated. He has an EHCP, but no specialist placement can be found for him.

I'm at home with him all day or trying to support him with educational provision which his Dad cancels at a whim. He's getting bigger and bigger, I can't restrain him anymore.

This week he's hit, kicked, slapped me, hit me with household items, tried to push me down the stairs, threatened to stab me (knives are already hidden) and threatened to bash my teeth out whilst I sleep. He copies the physical abuse he witnessed as a toddler and verbal abuse that he is brain washed with each alternate weekend. This is interspersed with him telling me he doesn't want to be alive anymore he feels so bad, crying uncontrollably and needing me to hold him while he falls asleep.

I love him but by God I am scared for our future.

the belief that NO ONE deserves to be murdered is probably a minority view.

I personally couldn’t get worked up at the thought of a violent and abusive father ending up dead, even if it was at the hands of his daughter (in fact there is probably a novel about it)

But I agree it’s the statistics that are totally shocking, and the fact that most of these murders will be against innocent women.

Society is telling these boys how to behave and reinforces the idea that their mums are old, out of touch and overly fussy or protective. I remembered benign neglect when my children were young. It was either that or you were a helicopter parent. Well benign neglect when your children are teens allows them to access the cesspit that can be the internet.

There is also no support structures in place to help these mothers. You see it on here fairly regularly, mothers at their wits end with violent and aggressive sons, who have gone to the police and SS and basically told there’s nothing that can be done. And if a mother of a violent son considers kicking him out (either to live elsewhere as an adult, or with a foster carer if they’re still a child) they are made to feel like terrible, unloving mothers.

There are support structures in place to help women escape violent men that they are in a relationship with. Police will arrest a man who beats his partner, SS will show concern for the safety of a woman and any children in the house if it’s her partner they are being abused by, charities and organisations will help financially and logistically support women escaping from abusive partners. Yet when the man abusing her is her son, everyone shrugs their shoulders, says they can’t help, and it’s her responsibility to care for him.

We're conditioned (both nature/nurture) not to leave our children. When your baby becomes older and has violent impulses you may not feel that you can leave.

There's commonality with intimate partner violence but possibly even more internalised and social pressure not to leave / "abandon".

Simultaneously, when there's family friction it might have been more common in the past for older boys/men to leave the nest and strike out on their own. This is now much harder. When things boil over, well we know about the physical harm that can be done in a moment by a man to a woman.

Lack of alternative accommodation for boys/men can be extra pressure on the mother/parents to let them stay, even if behaviour is extreme.

And yes, my partner is a primary teacher and deals with a lot of boys who are very disrespectful specifically to women, sometimes including physical violence. He meets the father, or gets the background on an absent father and the pieces fall right into place - it's learned behaviour.

Does the data include the familial structure? I understand that it is skewed on here as a mainly female forum, but a lot of women raising their children single handed seem to have ex-partners who exhibit less than ideal behaviour towards them. That must impact on the children's attitude in some instances.

There but for the grace of god go I.
While I was raising my 3 angry and distraught sons my exh was dripping poison into their ears at every contact. Parental alienation and stalking are now crimes, thankfully, but so many men are dreadful bitter cunning bastards.
We women are paying a heavy price...again, still.
@FeelLikeGivingUpButCant I hope your boy comes to his senses and learns to respect you and treat you and you well.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/mar/05/london-phd-student-zhenhao-zou-convicted-rapes

This is where it starts. All have an obsession whether it's drugs or alcohol but most importantly it's porn and especially the hook with the latter.

So women deserve to be murdered by their sons? Is that what you're saying?

My son is autistic and 14 and he can get violent when he is dysregulated. We’ve had police out a few times. It’s practically impossible to get any help, police say it’s social services job, social services aren’t interested if child isn’t at risk from parents. I’ll prob end up dead one day or seriously injured

This thread is unsettling to read. Last year I kicked out my 17 year old son who was financially and emotionally abusing me and physically and emotionally abusing his younger brother.

I thought the love I showed him as a young child was enough, but my baby grew up to abuse me. It's heartbreaking. He enternalised his father's abusive behaviour but some traits seem genetic too.

I'm a single mother since he was 6.

Now his younger brother has had big rages at home and I feel unsafe once again. I a few years he will be bigger than me. I'm getting help, doing a course in non-violent resistance. There is ADHD and other undefined issues.

It makes sense that young males will try to dominate if no other males filling that spot.

It's a risky business.