I am a narcissist

[ohyesido]

I am. But I'm not a horrible person.

I lack empathy but I've learned that it isn't nice to manipulate people.

Yet I still do, only in such a way that no one can ever really accuse me of it. Because I twist my words to indicate that I have everyone's best interests at heart.

Everything I do is calculated to ensure I get my own way while maintaining a facade of good intentions

Can anyone relate?

Do you find yourself projecting your feelings onto others, like hating someone and claiming they hate you instead? And turning people against them then playing victim?

It sounds like you don't have NPD, though I am no professional and I imagine like many disorders it exists on a spectrum. My ex-sister had both NPD and BPD. She was thrill-seeking, prone to lying about things like serious illnesses, highly promiscuous, violent, she even stabbed someone. She was a dangerous, manipulative, and deeply insecure despite her arrogance.

But who knows, maybe you do.

You're a fucking bailiff aren't you?? Only someone with a personality disorder would do a job that shit.

I have a funny story about a bailiff: one came round one day saying we owed money for something (we didn't) and started getting bolshy and aggressive when I told him to get lost.
I looked outside when he'd gone and he'd (illegally) clamped my car! I needed to go out as dm was in hospital ill so I didn't have time for police etc. so dh came home and cut it off with his bolt cutters and hid it in the garage 😂

Cue much laughter the next day when he came back for his clamp and it wasn't there - we stood watching from upstairs as he dejectedly got back in his car after scratching his head for a while and looking very pissed off. He was a right nasty wanker so it was very sweet karma!

I have someone like you in the family , someone I really love and dear to me . He was always like it even as a child , as he grew up I now see him more as a sociopath than just narcissistic as just like you describe yourself he has no empathy and don’t care about others feelings or what they think. Extremely intelligent and always finds a way to make others fell guilty despite him being in the wrong

People who grow up with narcissistic parents are not fine. It creates generations of trauma.

Anyway, I’m not sure you’re as “narcissistic” as you think. Generally, narcissists are too blind to recognise their own abusive behaviours and don’t see themselves as narcissists at all. Quite the opposite really.

You’re probably just incredibly self absorbed and selfish rather than a diagnosed “narcissist” by a psychiatrist.

Maybe slightly sociopathic.
Do you enjoy love making, and if so for what reason?

Are you aware of the work of HGTudor, a self professed aware narcissist and psychopath ?
He's on you Tube and has written some books.
He has categories for narcissists.

I don't think they have much self-awareness at all. They insist that they are special and nothing they have written suggests they are anything other than an uninspiring person in a boring job with a disappointing offspring they don't see eye to eye with. Nothing to see here.

I mean no one wants to do stuff they don’t want to do. I’ll hazard a guess you work because you have bills to pay not because it was your life’s dream to be in some kind credit control industry. Does an alarm wake you up to get up for work? I’m asking these because you said you don’t do anything you don’t want to do, ever. I dispute that. We all have to, to some degree, unless we’re billionaires and you will be no exception.

@Dollydaydream100 what you did there was criminal damage.

I've heard thousands of similar stories about how the agent was wrong and the debtors were completely innocent

I agree.

A narcissist cannot be a good parent and it sounds like OP doesn’t think very highly of her son and admits he has no respect for her and they clash.

I didn’t realise she wasn’t diagnosed.
I don’t understand why anyone would start a thread saying they are a narcissist and then admit they’ve never been diagnosed.

I agree that she doesn’t seem like a narcissist at all from the comments she’s made.

They don't actually. They want to but don't all have the intellect or hard working ethic to actually do it. The one I knew really wanted desperately to be rich and successful but he couldn't quite manage it as his lies and the fact he didn't actually know how to run a business successfully kept in getting in his way. He's on his third attempt at a similar business now after the first two folded.
He tried to project an image of being successful and a billy big balls to people but the truth was he didn't have a pot to piss in and his wife funded everything and was the higher earner (which he was massively resentful about and one of the reasons he constantly cheated on her).

You see @ohyesido I think this is where you differ from other narcissists I know.

From what you say you don't get a kick out of putting people down to make yourself look better or being cruel to them.

I think this is a crucial difference.

Just sounds you're a bit hoity toity which TBH is not the worst trait going

Wow  @back2lifeback2reality I live for it

Ha I was going to mention him 😁

Narcissists who manipulate people have no awareness of doing it. OP sounds very aware of being sly, cunning and deceitful. They’ve said how charming they are to others to get what they want. Hmm.. charming and charismatic .. who does that remind you of? This post screams Bundy bells to me!

Or just an utter saddo with nothing else to do with their lives than to create a creepy online persona 😐

Do you love your son? Did you feel care or concern for him when he was sad/scared/ill as a child?

How so?

Oh well 🤷‍♀️ it was hilarious and we enjoyed our criminal activity.

Maybe I'm a narcissist/psychopath too?!

I’m glad you’ve posted this and it’s wound people up op. Not that I want people to feel wound up but I want people to wake up to these manipulative selfish individuals as they’re everywhere. And they hide in plain sight.

My recent encounter was in a Christian church and people loved her. They thought she was such a giving caring person but I could see through it because of other experiences I’d had in her company. She only feigned giving and caring because it brought her adoration. She dropped people like a hot potato if it didn’t serve her narcisstic purposes. She was clever though. People still love her to this day even though she’s never really served anyone except herself. She also had a willing Renfield as a devoted husband. Odd.

Shame you passed on those narc genes though. We don’t need your kind in the world.

Interesting that you assumed the OP was a man.

Nah, I don’t buy it. You’re saying all the right things to make people believe you are a narcissist, and if they’re true then you do display some narcissistic behaviour. More likely though you’re just a damaged, selfish, not very nice person. A true narc doesn’t know they’re a narc and would never admit to it. Nor would they be self aware enough to know that their behaviour was selfish or wrong in any way.

I thought this too, was convinced. They've got a lot of previous posts though, ones where they describe feeling cringey and ignored on here. They seem lucid in these posts, and not at all immune to hurt. So, essentially, fuck knows. Delirium? A breakdown of some sort?

@ohyesido You sound exactly like many teens I used to meet when I was a social worker; attention-seeking. I think you sound extremely immature and I find it hard to believe that you are of an age to have a 25-year old son.

Its not a choice, its a default
People like OP (and me) have to deliberately NOT manipulate, its like breathing

[Dons best Austrian accent]
Can you tell us about your childhood?

What were the best bits? The worst bits?