I am a narcissist

[ohyesido]

I am. But I'm not a horrible person.

I lack empathy but I've learned that it isn't nice to manipulate people.

Yet I still do, only in such a way that no one can ever really accuse me of it. Because I twist my words to indicate that I have everyone's best interests at heart.

Everything I do is calculated to ensure I get my own way while maintaining a facade of good intentions

Can anyone relate?

I think the description of a narcissist has been gradually changed over the years to suit certain types of people and their narrative.

Funny how many ex partners become narcissists when described by the person they dumped, for example.

Same as many people claim to have been gaslighted, when what they mean is someone fibbed or got something wrong

I doubt many people would actually understand what a narcissist is. Perhaps I don't.

But I'm not bitchy, which makes me feel good about myself

Sorry, I meant the relationship with your son that you mentioned being problematic.

My ex husband had very similar mental health issues to yours and life wasn't easy for him as a result.

Out of complete curiosity, do you think having these traits and skills have got you further ahead in life compared to someone who doesn’t have NPD?

Oooph love bombing mumsnet and they don’t even realise

You don't come across as more articulate, I think you view yourself differently to how others view you

@Frostynoman I wouldn't know. I've done well for myself despite the whispers of those PPs who want to try and put me down. I love my job and I'm a fairly senior level, that's all my own graft. I started out as a temp in a contact centre

Exactly a post in a chat, with a load of strangers who don't know you, yet you seem to want them to diagnose you as a narcissistic.You then get irritated when they don't think you are.
There are plenty of books regarding NPD traits, written by experts in the field. A load of randoms on MN aren't going to help you explore it as well.
😂Thanks op.

@Apennyforapound you must be imagining that part where I asked for a diagnosis. But you're welcome

You've posted previously about your emotions, about losing your friend. None of your previous posts are akin to this thread, so what has happened to you? Do you feel physically unwell in any way?

Yeah, not all the time obviously, but usually, at least the diagnosed ones I've met through work (in psychology) x

Hypothetical. And no problem 😀

This is interesting. Do you have a sense of what feeling you are avoiding - or seeking? Does it feel good to be in control for instance? I’d love to understand a bit more

@SassK you keep saying stuff to me despite me ignoring you because you are rude and passive aggressive. Why are you carrying on?

Define “special”. You say it a lot, not sure what that means.

Also, why do you only do “nice” things for people because otherwise it’ll have some sort of impact on you? Do you mean people’s interpretations of you and you worry they’ll think less of you?

I suspected a humiliation kink too…

No @Henbags . I do it for me so I can inflate my self image

People who haven't known someone with a personality disorder don't get that it's wired in, like schizophrenia. It is who you are and you didn't choose it. That's why they react strongly in the comments because they think the OP is just being difficult. They don’t realise that insults dont hit like they would with a normally wired person, so they keep it up thinking it'll do something. Having known someone with NPD/BPD who I never want to speak to ever again because they are the most disturbing person I've ever met I also know that insults won't change them

I do agree with some of this!

Because you've described feeling extreme emotion in previous posts.

You aren’t wrong, doesn’t matter what you say it just doesn’t impact, “go in”, zero nothing. It’s like ground hog day you can go again and again.

Special and a debt collector 😂 you literally have one of the worst jobs on the planet. I would rather clean toilets without gloves, than be a debt collector.

@SassK so? I miss my friend. She should still be here.

You’re not coming across as any better than the “bitchy” posters on here.

This isn’t the flex you think it is 😂

I agree, I didn't choose this and at least I am self aware and so don't go around harming people (unless they cross me).
Would I love to feel what other people feel? probably but from watching other people get upset over stuff it does seem a bit inconvenient.
I try to be a better person and I have trained myself to a certain extent but I know what I am, I am not proud of it but not ashamed either
I consider it a type of ND

@TwinklyOrca to each their own. The criminal justice system exists. And i'm not a debt collector