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Original poster

Why in some families do both parents go everywhere?

392 replies

Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:51

I’m a single mum so genuinely curious why do some families both parents have to go everywhere? Obviously family days/trips/shopping etc is normal but I mean like a school friends birthday party or play date.

OP posts:
Whiteradiatorwithbellson · 08/02/2025 13:53

Sometimes DP and I both go to parties as we are both friends with the parents.

We sometimes both do the morning school run together as we both hybrid work so want to go for a walk before work.

TheFlis · 08/02/2025 13:53

They enjoy spending time together as a family? I remember reading a depressing stat that the average family only spends around 40 minutes a day together in the same room, people like to make the most of the time they do have.

BitchinTwinset · 08/02/2025 13:54

I would assume largely for logistical reasons that you are not privy to. Eg party being on way to other appointment, one person needing to drive, etc.

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Families
SmokeRingsOfMyMind · 08/02/2025 13:54

I find it a bit baffling too. So inefficient! If I'm taking DD to a party, DH can get on with some hoovering, or some exercise, or just play some computer chess or phone his mum.

Original poster
Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:54

No I do get wanting to spend time together but sometimes at my kids birthday party both parents turn up and I wonder why, neither really know me. My sons best friends parents are always together

OP posts:
Original poster
Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:54

SmokeRingsOfMyMind · 08/02/2025 13:54

I find it a bit baffling too. So inefficient! If I'm taking DD to a party, DH can get on with some hoovering, or some exercise, or just play some computer chess or phone his mum.

That’s exactly what I think.

OP posts:
Corinthiana · 08/02/2025 13:54

We enjoyed being together as a family.

NorthernGirlie · 08/02/2025 13:54

I usually went to school friends' parties on my own with ds but me and dh did his nursery parties together as they were in the next city over and I don't drive

As a result the nursery families are our pals. We socialise with them every couple of months and the kids are still great friends.

Original poster
Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:54

BitchinTwinset · 08/02/2025 13:54

I would assume largely for logistical reasons that you are not privy to. Eg party being on way to other appointment, one person needing to drive, etc.

Possibly but sometimes it’s clearly not and I’m confused lol lightheartedly of course

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 08/02/2025 13:55

I find the ones who feel the need to all go the supermarket with all the kids at 9pm the most annoying ones.

God knows, dh and I liked to divide chores like parties because it meant the other one could get a couple of hours free to get a job done or even have some me time.

Original poster
Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:56

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2025 13:55

I find the ones who feel the need to all go the supermarket with all the kids at 9pm the most annoying ones.

God knows, dh and I liked to divide chores like parties because it meant the other one could get a couple of hours free to get a job done or even have some me time.

Exactly.

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 08/02/2025 13:56

I find it strange too but they have possibly come from or will go somewhere together after the party or other event?

Corinthiana · 08/02/2025 13:57

Hanzel44 · 08/02/2025 13:54

Possibly but sometimes it’s clearly not and I’m confused lol lightheartedly of course

Show quote history

Just the way some folks are. Every family is different.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 08/02/2025 13:58

We went to a health screening event a few weeks ago. It was for people aged 16 plus with no previously identified health issues. It was very busy and being held in a small community hall. There were several teenagers there with both parents and others with both parents and much younger siblings too. The very limited space was made much more cramped by all of these extra people who were not being screened. I also struggled to understand why you would take extra people along to an event such as this. It wasn’t a particularly fun place for anyone to be.

somedayforoneday · 08/02/2025 13:59

Can never understand why both parents take a child to a birthday party especially when it is at home and don’t get me started on the ones who bring siblings without asking!

EternalSunshine19 · 08/02/2025 13:59

They might enjoy making memories with each other. I don't understand why families go to the supermarket together though, like its a day out. If my DH is not working then he either stays at home with our DD and i do the shopping or he takes her somewhere like the park or softplay. No need for us all to be at the supermarket.

Dollmeup · 08/02/2025 14:01

I find it odd too. There's loads of couples that seem to do school runs, shopping, kids birthday parties etc together. Me and my partner take turns so the other one can get stuff done or relax for a bit.

I totally get wanting to spend time as a family but not with a trip round Asda!

TomatoSandwiches · 08/02/2025 14:01

Perhaps they don't need to be as efficient with their time since there's two of them so they have the luxury of doing some things together.

DonnyBurrito · 08/02/2025 14:01

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2025 13:55

I find the ones who feel the need to all go the supermarket with all the kids at 9pm the most annoying ones.

God knows, dh and I liked to divide chores like parties because it meant the other one could get a couple of hours free to get a job done or even have some me time.

Aw, it's a bit sad you see watching your child socialise with their friends and have fun (and possibly do a tiny bit of parenting) 'a chore'! Unless they're older and boring and just sit around on their phones at parties or something? I'm genuinely curious, why is it a chore for you?

arethereanyleftatall · 08/02/2025 14:03

I don't mind it really at parties etc, it's quite nice and unusual that they want to spend time as a family, assuming it's not forced by one parent only.

What I absolutely don't understand is when the following two things are happening simultaneously- at the supermarket but the children are not happy/crying etc. I have no idea what scenario leads to one of the parents not taking the children outside.

readingmakesmehappy · 08/02/2025 14:05

We do most of our grocery shopping online so the kids find a trip to a supermarket wildly exciting. And as one is a bolter I can't take them both on my own.

Kmward36 · 08/02/2025 14:06

Must admit…we are this couple. We both work mad hours in the week and are a bit like passing ships. So we tend to do whatever we can together at the weekend - parties, food shopping etc.

I really like it. We do try and sort chores out in the week so we can have family time at the weekend. It works really well for us! We’ve been together 15 years and I’m not bored of it yet 😂

BitOutOfPractice · 08/02/2025 14:06

DonnyBurrito · 08/02/2025 14:01

Aw, it's a bit sad you see watching your child socialise with their friends and have fun (and possibly do a tiny bit of parenting) 'a chore'! Unless they're older and boring and just sit around on their phones at parties or something? I'm genuinely curious, why is it a chore for you?

Show quote history

God that’s the most passive aggressive thing I have ever read on mn and that’s saying something.

I’ll pass ag back at you. Aww has that hit a nerve for you @DonnyBurrito?

SmokeRingsOfMyMind · 08/02/2025 14:06

DonnyBurrito · 08/02/2025 14:01

Aw, it's a bit sad you see watching your child socialise with their friends and have fun (and possibly do a tiny bit of parenting) 'a chore'! Unless they're older and boring and just sit around on their phones at parties or something? I'm genuinely curious, why is it a chore for you?

Show quote history

I suppose some of us just need a little more mental stimulation than others.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/02/2025 14:07

What I absolutely don't understand is when the following two things are happening simultaneously- at the supermarket but the children are not happy/crying etc. I have no idea what scenario leads to one of the parents not taking the children outside.

Oh no, having wrote that I have since worked out which set of circumstances lead to this. Financial abuse so bloke needed to pay. But only the mother is capable of both shopping and comforting the children. Oh no.
I can't think of any other set of circumstances. I think I'll start being super nice now if I see this happening.