Why in some families do both parents go everywhere?

[Hanzel44]

I’m a single mum so genuinely curious why do some families both parents have to go everywhere? Obviously family days/trips/shopping etc is normal but I mean like a school friends birthday party or play date.

Husband and wife both coming in together when one of them has a blood test or BP check is baffling to me.
I’m not talking about people nervous or who have never had a blood test before either, there are some people who come every couple of months, and always come in together.
I have a small room and need to move the extra chair to get to the patients arm if someone is sitting on the extra one as it’s so close, then re organise the chairs again just to be able to open the door to let them out again. Drives me mad and eats into my 5 minute appointment slot!

My husband works long hours. We spend most of the week apart.

I didn't want to spend the time my dh was in the country efficiently doing chores whilst he went out with the kids he hadnt seen for a while.

It’s not the spending time with family that’s unhealthy. It’s the medium in which it’s done.

I’m in one of these couples. We just really like spending time together and both seeing our DS having a blast with his friends. We also have the option to talk to other parents if we get on or to each other when it’s one where it’s all just lots of awkward small talk.

I'm a single mum too and always wonder this! Seeing entire families in supermarkets really confuses me 😂

It's when as a group of people you womble around en masse hogging the aisles with your brains in neutral. You get in the way of those on a mission to get the shopping done and get out of the place as quickly as possible.

PS sorry, wrong poster but you'll appreciate what I mean

My husband works on an oil rig. I guess I’m so used to not spending the time with him.
When he’s home though we spend lots of time together… just not in the supermarket or at other kids parties. There’s enough hours in a day to not have to do that.

Because we don’t get to spend enough time together. We went through an absolute drought of date night opportunities. The chance to grab a coffee and have a conversation together while the dc were having their swimming lesson, or take the other dc for an ice cream while their sibling was at a party, were golden.

It’s so much nicer to do chores together than split up. There’s no shortage of time apart, so why wouldn’t we make the most of every opportunity to spend time together?

Do they stick around ? Maybe they like each others company or "tag team" with their child, why does it bother you.

Both me and DH went to uniform shop for secondary. Our DS has ASD and I think we were both a bit worried about him refusing to change because of the textures.

But also even if he didn't have ASD, we might have both gone along. When your child hits secondary age the 'firsts' are far and few between, and we were really proud.

He cycled to school on his first day, we oth drove and met him at the school gate. Don't regret it for a moment and we weren't the only parents who did this.

Misery loves company....

Never really thought about it but my husband and I pretty much do everything together apart from friends nights out.

To the car park?

I think while it is nice to spend time together it is also important to socialise separately too. I have two widowed friends . She always had a life with hobbies as did her husband . She misses her husband so much but can distract herself and cope . Other friend spent all time together worked together on business , only socialised together . He is totally lost now as doesn't have any thing else in his life .
I did accompany my DH to supermarket once a week with kids as I didn't drive then and I wanted to pick the products myself . DH would never check costs, couldn't anticipate what I wanted , and kept getting wrong size nappies. Yes , a list could have been sent but as he was dyslexic it was too much of a strain . So much quicker together too.

It’s the ones who treat the supermarket shop as a family day trip. 2 adults 2 or 3 kids. Kids are kicking off. Parents are arguing because the kids are kicking off. Just stay at home!!!! It doesn’t take 4 people to do the shopping

This is so silly. Its not pathological! Just because my dh snd I did things together that you might not have doesn’t mean we didn’t also have one on one time with our children or dare nights without them. You just have no idea what goes on in other people’s lives. Why so weirdly judgmental about how other couples choose to spend their time?

Could it be the mum doesn't drive? And usually for play dates, it would be the mum that attends?

There have been posts like this on MN before and it’s made me really doubt whether both me and DH are ‘allowed’ to go to a nursery birthday party. In the end we both went and it turned out almost every child there had both parents too. Glad I chose to ignore it. MN never seems to reflect real life for me!

We are often in the supermarket all together. It’s because we usually go in to do some shopping on the way back from somewhere else. We do it when we’re going by. We don’t drive. It was handy with the buggy because it had a basket underneath.
Even if dc were acting up, it wouldn’t occur to take them outside. It’s not a church or library.
We have gone to parties etc together, but mostly we don’t.
We went a lot of places together for the first few years because I had pnd and found it hard to cope on my own.

But for most of those people, I'd hazard a guess that they're popping into the shop on the way home from somewhere - a trip out or seeing relatives.

I think a lot are nervous about going alone and possibly not having anyone to talk to. People round here mostly come in couples to kids parties

The family all shopping at Tesco. Why? The bloke just standing with his hands in his pockets. Making memories? Hardly. Piss off

I don't understand why it bothers people that much that we all go to the supermarket etc ... what skin is it off their nose like?

I don't want my supermarket shop to take an extra 25 minutes because I can't get near the shelves or to open the chiller doors due to big families getting in my way. Unless there are specific circumstances where one adult needs the other to be physically present then it just creates crowding.

I want in and out, not waiting extra minutes to get a space near the shelf I need while two grown adults reason with a tantruming toddler. And if one parent doesn't drive, the other can surely wait in the car or take said toddlers for a quick drive.

It's really annoying.

My DH came with me to do the supermarket shop today. First time he's ever come since lockdown. It was so nice not to have to carry bags and pack and pay by myself. But never ever again on a Saturday.