Why in some families do both parents go everywhere?

[Hanzel44]

I’m a single mum so genuinely curious why do some families both parents have to go everywhere? Obviously family days/trips/shopping etc is normal but I mean like a school friends birthday party or play date.

I don't understand that either. I get that supermarket shopping can be a learning experience, but I don't get why both parents need to be there.

It's a weird mumsnet thing I'm sure . Where I am most families do things together a lot of the time.

I often work weekends, DH and the DCs are at school/work in the week. On a rare day off all together, we will go everywhere as a family.

Wow, DH and I are clearly in the minority here.

Like PP, we spend most of the week apart because of work. We take all the time together we can, because we love being together. Makes the mundane tasks that little bit more enjoyable. He's my best friend and hanging out with him and our children is what makes me happiest.

We also love seeing our DC having a good time, and sharing the joy of that moment together. Whether that's soft play or trampolining or anything else.

I would feel sad to be sat at home whilst DH and DC were out together.

We'll continue spending all the time together we can, even if others think we're weird or crazy because of it!

Last sumner we needed to get DDs school uniform (for Secondary). Its a small shop, but deals with a large number of Secondary and primary schools.

We were the only ones there without both parents. I couldn't work put why it needed both... I did have both DDs (11&13) by elder DD needed a new pe jumper...

In every case, the dad was just standing there

I don't understand why it bothers people that much that we all go to the supermarket etc ... what skin is it off their nose like?

I guess if the supermarket is busy then it's extra people. Of course if you have a disability and it's your only means of getting out it's understandable.

But it doesn't explain why when the kids are clearly unhappy to be in the supermarket (which they aren't always but sometimes are) why doesn't one parent take them outside? I see it quite often.

Why would you sot at home though? Do you do nothing for yourself?

I would do a hobby or sport as these can be so difficult to fit in with little kids

There’s a couple at our school who do the morning and afternoon school run together, every single day!
I don’t get that I must admit, I love it when DH is home early and I can send him by himself!

We’ve always done birthday parties on our own but I’ve always wondered whether those who do it together do so as one is a bit introverted/don’t know many people and just want some company?

Would you turn up at a child’s birthday party? ALL of you ?

I could absolutely do something for myself - but I have more fun and am happier with my husband and children. Which is why I choose to spend my time with them 🙂

I loved having other parents over for parties; we made lifelong friends from that. I always made sure there was beer, wine, and a cheeseboard for that reason. Plus, the more parents are there, the less stress it is for me trying to wrangle 30 kids on my own.

If we were all invited then yes, and we'd have a lovely time, I'm sure. If we weren't, then of course not.

I agree.

Those saying 'they like spending time together', well yes, so do lots of us, but, by being efficient with dividing up the chores, it frees up more time to do pleasurable things together - be that going out somewhere or even something simple like sitting down to watch a fil together.

It's also really nice for dc to get a bit of 1 on 1 time with a parent without their siblings being there, sometimes, which is another reason to get things done without 2 parents following each other around.

There’s a couple like this at ours, and it turns out the guy is very possessive. He has a go at his wife for speaking to my dh. Then spent the next year giving my dh right dirty digs. They’ve spilt up now, thankfully for her. Luckily for me I don’t do the school run, so not my problem 😂

I’m probably too far in the opposite direction, totally believe in ‘divide and conquer’ as DH and I would get so much more done. Plus, as a SAHM in the baby toddler years, I really really needed some time out from my kids when he came home, and at weekend of possible. It does cause issues sometimes -PIL spent all their time together, they would definitely be the ones showing up everywhere as a pair 🙄. So DH tends in that direction whereas i prefer time to myself when possible, especially socially. I like having my own friends rather than couple friends.

Sometimes we both go places as we both like to be present in our child's life. We don't want him to think mummy always does the school run.
Sometimes we both go for logistical reasons or Sometimes (such as parties) so we can both get to know our child's friends parents.
Equally Sometimes only 1 of us goes if 1 of bus wants to go to the gym, or we have chores which need doing.

We go everywhere together because one of my children has a disability that requires an adult sat in the back of the car with them at all times. People would be able to tell DC was disabled but would never know this specific reason unless we told people.

This seems unhealthy. I also love to spend the time with my dc and dh. But everyone needs time for themselves too.

Because...we like each other?

And spend most the week apart so we want to spend time together as a family.

Some weekends that might be at a party etc if need be. It's not all the time but it's certainly some of the time depending on what else we've got going on.

Only on Mumsnet would someone be told it's unhealthy to want to spend their free time with their family after working a long week away from them 😂

Control, if partners are dragged along to a children’s party they can’t be having fun on their own (or with someone else). It’s rude and inconsiderate of the host though, unless they were both invited.

So many judgemental and perfect, privileged families on here.

There are plenty of reasons why both parents do things together with their children. Some as mentioned include abusive relationships, others, specifically in terms of taking children shopping, include not having a permanent home to leave the children at home so one can go shopping.

All so privileged to have never been in a homeless situation where your family is sharing accomodation with several others and upset children causes more problems. It's easier to take them to the supermarket.

@Muchtoomuchtodo Parents with other siblings at a screening, you don't know how many of these young people need support to be there, how many of the adults or children have disabilities that also require support. Or whether they had to rely on someone else for transport and were combining the visit with someone else they couldn't do as a family otherwise.

Why is it that people always say it's important to get out of the house each day "even if it's just to the supermarket" and then suggest that children be left at home all day? It's surely important for children's development that they experience normal and mundane things like shops, buses, etc, chatting as you walk to the shops or in the car. Not every day is a theme park day. Sometimes you just have to make the most of ordinary things. I'm about to drag mine out in the drizzle to return some library books. I could leave them here watching shite on YouTube which they'd no doubt prefer but I'm not going to.

No. They don't, if it works for them. Who are you to say what is unhealthy for someone.

We try and to the school runs together because we never thought it would be possible. We always expected it would fall to me. So we take advantage of this as much as we can knowing that either of us may be called back into the office more than we currently are.