What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

@Tarkan I adore Lemon Puffs but they're hard to find these days 🙁

Madness!!

Oh my God don't you dare slag a Garibaldi! I bloody love them! Problem is I'd eat the pack. I would say it has to be arrowroot biscuits, so bland. Not sure if they are just an Irish thing though.

Our Home Bargains usually has them. This thread has really put me in the mood for them now too but we don't have any in. I'll have to have some custard creams for now.

Oh my god.

Well, I don't think I've ever eaten a fig because they look disgusting and now I'm guaranteed never to!

I don't think I've ever had a fig roll either, I think that may now be something I'm less likely to eat than a Garibaldi. Unless someone wants to tell me that the black bits in a Garibaldi are actually squashed flies as was always rumoured.

Yes! Nail on the head, those tasteless pink bits of cardboard.

Absolutely! And those sickly lemon puff things.

Rich tea.

Jammy dodgers are horrible and custard creams taste of sadness and dust.

I do like a plain digestive though, especially buttered.

The best are chocolate olivers but I don't think those are even sold any more.

Oh yes. I'd blocked them out. They're not quite as bad as custard creams but not far off.

I agree with Nice and Garibaldi: both rubbish. I would also like to nominate the fruit shortcake - a cousin of the garibaldi. Miserable.

If we’re talking wrapped biscuits, then a Blue Riband, Tunnocks Caramel Wafer or a milk chocolate Club are all depressing.

This

I agree! I hate those Danish cookies. Luckily they seem to be on the decline since the eighties. I would also prefer nothing rather than eat wafers, Lincoln biscuits (or that cousin with fluted edges), plain digestives, lemon puffs or iced gems. (Probably not a biscuit but what the hell are they??) Love malted milk, though.

I know! I like to live dangerously. Viennese whirls are mushy and crumbly at the same time. Rich teas are crisp and simple.

Another Scottish thing but google 'fly cemetery"

You're welcome 😂

Lincoln biscuits definitely.

I must protest at all the Rich Tea hate, I think they are delicious, one of the few biscuits I really like. I hate Digestives and Custard Cream though and those Viennese Whirls - yuck

Rich tea - don’t understand the point of them

In this household the vote would probably be for goosnargh cakes being the worst but the rest are philistines and don't realize what they are missing.

Minced up wasps made me giggle 😂

Rich Tea. It doesn’t even have the decency to stand up to a decent dunking, which is the Hobnob’s one redeeming feature.

Plain digestive- like cardboard

Bourbon

I like fig rolls too.
However figs are not dates.

Garaboldi are awful. Also not a fan of a digestive

Anything made with vegetable fat rather than butter. But if I was forced at gunpoint to take a biscuit from a McVities family circle box then I know the one I would most want to avoid would be the round fake shortbread. Somehow even more disgusting than the rectangular fake shortbread.