What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

Oh god absolutely a rich tea 😩
who buys them and what purpose do they fill?

I’d never touch a garibaldi but at least is has something about it.

I love a rich tea!

Bourbon

And fig newtons

I love a rich tea, rich tea finger is even better.

Not a big fan of posh chocolate biscuits.

My least favourite is a "chocolate" bourbon, like eating dirt.

I'm always shocked so many people prefer a chocolate hobnob over a chocolate digestive. The oats aren't for me, choc digestive is the king of biscuits.

Lemon Puffs. Never tasted one but they look 🤮

I love rich tea and digestives. Not keen on Nice biscuits so I'm with your dh.

Malted milk and for me personally ginger biscuits. I just don't get the taste.

I love Rich Teas!
Hate Hobnobs - dry as hell 🤮

Those will be low end Garibaldis. They taste of nothing. It's what eating a biscuit in space would taste like. Nothing. Or dust. Like eating dust.

Bourbon or custard creams! Traumatised by how readily available they were in eveyone’s house growing up and that they were considered a “treat”. Now I’d rather have no biscuit with my cuppa than one of those!

Rich tea. Reminds me of old people’s homes 😳

No, that's why they're great, the element of danger - can you dunk them just right so they survive the journey to mouth..

I like them as they remind me of my grandparents.

100% agree with this.

Nice are the saddest. Custard Creams are disgusting and Bourbons are basically brown dust. People who enjoy Jammie Dodgers deserve prison.

Well I'm glad I've already eaten my lunch or that would put me off it.

Actually the saddest biscuit I've ever had was an unidentifiable biscuit from a bag of "broken biscuits" - you can buy such a thing, basically biscuit rejects.

Jaffa cakes.

I don't know if they even are biscuits.

I don't know what they are other than horrible. Took me years to realise they were meant to taste like that - I thought I was unlucky and kept getting the stale one

This is one of the most controversial threads I ever read, bar none

People merrily criticising Jammy Dodgers (admittedly bland, but they’re a fucking icon! The heart! The splodge pattern! The chance to go ploughing hopefully through the paste to access that now almost homoeopathically tiny quantity of chewy ‘is it even fruit?’ gum? Don’t tell me that’s not a momentary triumph).

Others up in here defending the conveyor belt-flavoured, teeth-full-of sand monstrosity that is a Viennese Whirl. I’d rather a Lemon Puff, that’s how bad the VW is.

Don’t worry though, cos I am here to settle it. Malted Milk is officially The Worst Biscuit. I’d sooner eat a wee freckly apple from the side pouch of a stranger’s school-bag.

Always thought these were Garibaldis until someone pointed out they’re nothing like a real Garibaldi (think they have proper minced fruit in the centre) whereas these are called a fruit round or something. Again, I’d rather have no biscuit than one of these 😆

Oreo cookies - they look as though they would be full of rich chocolatey flavour, but they are not.

How can anyone not like malted milk???

Does anyone remember the sad (more sad) little brother of the Rich Tea? It was called Morning Coffee. From what I recall, it was an oblong with rounded corners, like a doily, thinner than the Rich Tea but basically the same thing.

The chocolate digestive is hugely underrated.

Can't beat dunking a chocolate digestive.

Worst for me is shortbread, love garibaldi and don’t mind most biscuits but find hobnobs much too sweet