Was what I said a racial microaggression?

[PhonePhonePhone]

My sister and I were out, and we bumped into a woman I was friends with at work (but have lost touch with) about 15 years ago.

It was excited to see her. We said hi and had a nice (albeit brief) chat before we both had to dash. During the chat I said "You look amazing, by the way. How have you not aged a single day since we worked at X?!" (for context, I most definitely have aged - lots of wrinkles now...).

My sister says that this was a racial microaggression. My colleague/friend is black. My sister and I are white. My sister says it's a microaggression because it assumes that black people "should" visibly age at the same rate as white people, and that's not necessarily the case.

Friend/colleague showed no sign of being anything but pleased and friendly with me, but now I'm worried.

Would you consider what I said a racial microaggression?

Because blanking somebody who has just spoken to you is pretty rude?

I’d smile and say “Apparently not!” Something non-committal but smiley and friendly.

As a black person, I can safely say no it was not a micro aggression in the slightest.

I don’t think it’s a strange thing to say at all. I don’t mind when people I’ve not seen for a while say it to me.
I say it to others where applicable and they only ever seem pleased.

No absolutely not. Your sister is weird.

@PhonePhonePhone I'm also a woke leftie. I've never heard anything so nuts in all my life as what your sister said

Yup!

@PhonePhonePhone it's got nothing to do with colour, I past a women I knew was a school mum at my kids school today leaving a shop. Not seen her for years and thought to myself, wow she looks the same and has not aged at all. She is white. What a strange thing to say. It's a compliment as far as I know.

How can a compliment about not looking older be taken as racist? Honestly, some people just actively look for things take another uncomfortable.

'Jewish stays newish'? Love it!😂

I'm not sure about this whole microagression thing. I'm not saying it's not legitimate, obviously I can't because I'm not black.

But I do worry that in all of us becoming over sensitive to this stuff, it makes people anxious about everything they do. And that doesn't create a great environment for us all to live cohesively together.

It's a balance.

I think we all have to work harder to be tolerant of other people's behaviour, trust other people's good intentions, and pick our battles.

Otherwise in this world where online outrage rules, we're creating divisions and anxieties that aren't helpful.

The worst bit is it seems to be white people competitively tripping over each other to do the right thing in a virtue signalling kind of way. It's antagonistic and unhelpful.

Mutual understanding, compassion, listening and tolerance go much further than appointing yourself the woke police amd monitoring other people's behaviour. 🙄

FFS I've heard it all now

I'm proud to be woke and left. You're sister is nuts. It's these kinds of people who give ammo to the rabid right.

Thank you all again. This seems (for once!) pretty universal. My DSis is a basket case 😂
I shall be (gently) telling her as much

Just show her the thread.

Nope. I'm as white as it gets and I get people saying this to me regularly. My DH genuinely doesn't look much older than he did when we met either! It's not a racial comment in the slightest.

If you would say the exact same compliment to a white friend then it’s not racist. Your sister is one of those people that creates racial tensions when they’re aren’t any.

So would you say ' you haven't aged at all, probably because you aren't white like me' ?